Friday, January 20, 2017

New Normal - Town Living

I am pretty sure that I have like a billion and one (ok that maybe a little exaggerated) blog topics circling around in my head...and I wonder why I don't sleep very much yet I am tired.  I said to a friend recently that I feel like I need time....time to heal my soul. I had to apologise to her after a night out as I wasn't at all my usual self.....and the thing was I knew I wasn't and I just didn't have it in me to even pretend.

This past week has been a little more on the difficult side....Jamie went back to work and of course we missed him. I missed him the most I think....he and I gel together quite well and I like being around him. We often dream of working together.....in Alaska or somewhere. So this week was a week of adjustments all round. Its been tough.  We are finding living in town...while good, exceptionally good for petrol costs, ease of getting around and the general convenience of living 400m from the town centre....we are finding the closeness of the neighbours a little claustrophobic, the lack of view and privacy and the lack of open space somewhat hard.  My children have grown up using country voices and now need to learn town voices...perhaps we too need town voices.  I am insanely paranoid of the neighbours and them being able to hear the kids screeching, arguing and general kid noises, I believe I have even told them off for laughing too loud. Who does that I ask??!!  I think that it is made worse that we have no children directly around us..well actually I am guessing we don't because I haven't seen nor heard any at all.  I have seen children twice across the street but thats it.  What do town children do with themselves I ask?  Perhaps if I saw some learning to do back flips on the trampoline or flipping on to mattresses I would feel better.  If its like this now...how will I cope in the school term?

I most definitely know without a doubt, with all my heart that God has blessed us with this house....its really perfect for us at this moment in our lives, its what we need.   Its still taking a bit of getting use to and I am missing my old normal.

"But my God shall supply all you need according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus"  - Phil 4:19

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

2017 - The Year of New Normal

"I understand in theory the idea that I will have to cross people in this world, especially the people who are not listening to my words, not heeding my decisions, not respecting my space. But for so long I've never called people out on theses things because I was more concerned with being thought well of than protecting my wellness. Then all of a sudden I realized I was tired not because life was full but because life was full of things that were draining the soul right out of me." - 'Brazen'  Leeana Tankersley Pg 122

Firstly Happy New Year everyone! Hands up if you are excited for the coming year.??  Anyone???  I am getting there...although today this has been my view for a large part of the day laid flat on my bed with not feeling the best. I guess I just am needed time, more time for rest and healing.

So 2017.....how are we feeling about it?  I am choosing to look forward into the year as a blank canvas with a raft of possibilities and opportunities. Isn't it exciting??

I am finally reading this book 'Brazen' by Leeana Tankersley, its speaking to my very soul.  I am pretty sure she is writing my story or at the very least spent sometime in my head.  The above is a quote that jumped out and punched me in the face today. I literally had to stop reading and put the book down, catch my breath and think on that for a time.  I know I am a people-pleaser....I have been for years. I can't stand the thought of someone thinking bad things of me even though I know there are probably lots that do. I don't like to disappoint, to anger or to look like a fool. It can send me into a tail spin and frustrates the heck out of my husband. "Who cares what other people think?  I DO I DO I DO!!!

The ability to know how to please people is a gift/knack/heart but when its misused, abused and is sucking the life out of you its a very BAD HABIT. Its tiring and probably much of my problem of feeling overwhelmed a lot of the time......so here I am at the age of 39 (and thats a whole other story) I choose to...need to choose to put boundaries in place and grow up, grow up into myself...into who God has made me to be, not apologize for me.....because He made me in His image.  And He only makes GOOD things.

"So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.........God saw all that He had made, and it was very good. - Genesis 1:27-31


Friday, December 30, 2016

Documenting December Day 31 - Goodbye 2016

Well here we are...on the cusp of the New Year! 2017.  I am pretty sure its going to be a good one.  I am not sad that this year has come to an end.  While some good things have happened.....big parts of it were extremely tough going. I will not miss those parts.

2016 saw Jamie gain full-time employment and ministry. This makes me extremely happy and to see the person that I love...love what he is doing, to what God has called him to do, what he is born to do.  He is good at it. And that makes me happy. God also completely healed his hip and his back....which of course makes me happy too. God is good.

This year also saw us face our biggest challenge ever....to prepare us to move and not know where. We spent nearly four months of the year not knowing where we were gong to be living, two months not knowing when would move and living in limbo with nothing of our own around.  That was extremely unsettling and forced us to draw strength from God every single day. I will not lie...there are days that I did not at all cope and at time have felt utterly broken. We have faced financial stress and yet seen amazing miracles of provision at just the right time. One cannot deny God....when you are so dependent on Him.

I personally have faced intense personal struggles  including the breakdown of relationships that were once important to me and the hurt still hurts..it will for a long time. As the saying goes "If you love them let them go......" and that is where I am. There are seasons for everything...some are long and some are short but we can always learn something from all of them.

I have ended this year with this photo. I love it. It was taken at a time when all was right with our world before the hard stuff happened.  I am looking forward to having a new photo taken...very soon I hope.

Thank you all for reading and your encouragement and support. Many of you have contacted me personally and told me how much has spoken to you> I will continue on with my blog just not everyday. Love you all and may God bless you with an amazing 2017!

Love Sharni



Documenting December Day 30 - Sun Fun Take 2

Another day in the sun.....I am so not getting sick of this BUT I really really wish I was feeling 100%...then I too may have enjoyed having a go at paddle boarding. But no it wasn't too be...I had to be contect at watching my boys have a go.   They made it look so easy too!  It seems to be jellyfish season because there was loads of them in the water which put Jayden off from having a go...even though I promised to him that they were not Portugese Man of War and weren't destined to seek him out and kill him.  The little people enjoyed playing in the shallows collecting baby starfish and periwinkles (cats eyes).  They happily made 'homes' for them by carving out pools for them in the water...I am sure they appreciated that.

Surfer-son aka Casey (15) enjoyed some time in the waves this morning and is hoping to get out tomorrow morning as well.  I did toy with the idea of waking up really early like at 5am and heading up to the top of Te Mata peak to watch the sunrise.  Note I said 'toyed'.....I don't believe that will happen tomorrow morning....ours days have been long and we have stuffed in a lot...plus I am pretty sure the sea salt air makes you even more tired.

I spent some time in the early morning rays with a morning coffee with a book that I have been hanging out to read...like HANGING OUT....but up until recently it has been packed away.  Again I always marvel at the timing of God when it comes to the books that are given or recommended to me to read.  AGAIN I feel like the author is writing to me about me....in one chapter I literally had tears leaking out of my eyes.....but I think I will save that for another post because I think I am going to have more to say on that.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve....I have been thinking about the coming year and the goals I have for myself....I suppose you could call them New Years Resolutions.  Do you have any?  Did you manage to keep last years??


Thursday, December 29, 2016

Documenting December Day 29 - A Birthday

I have only 3 more posts to do before I complete my goal of blogging everyday for 2016. Honestly I am quite excited about that for a number of reasons....first being its always a good feeling when you get to complete a goal that you have set for yourself. Second...I am actually looking forward to not HAVING to write something every day because there have been numerous times when I feel like I have nothing to say...(yes that does happen believe it or not) and thirdly I will enjoy a break from HAVING to do something that involves a screen.  I will continue to blog but I may just post two or three a week and when I feel like I have something halfway decent to say.

We celebrated a special girls birthday today...my lovely niece turned three! Yay!!  She enjoyed a very PINK and very FLAMINGO themed party complete with a pink flamingo cake and flamingo lanterns. Can you tell she is obsessed with Flamingos?   What I thought was particularly special and very precious is that her Great-Grandad made a trip out to spend some of the afternoon sharing her birthday with her.  He didn't seem to flinch or bat an eyelid when ALL of the children were blowing those hideous kazooka whistle things and enjoyed a cup of pink fizzy and a large piece of pink flamingo cake. Its was so beautiful!!

I have lost two girls to my sisters house tonight and gained an extra boy in return but at present I am enjoying some incredibly rare time when I have the house to myself apart from the two little people that are in bed. The others are off to the movies tonight seeing they missed out last night due to the theatre being sold out.

So I am off to have a hot cup of tea and am planning on watching a couple of documentaries or curling up with a book.  Ciao!!

 

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Documenting December Day 28 - Sun Fun Day

In spite of me still not feeling 100% (well that sucks doesn't it) we headed into Hastings to Splash Planet, the Bays water park.  If you have never been I reckon its well worth the visit...stay all day as there is plenty to do from the little people right through to the bigger kids too.   My little people LOVED the lazy river while by big people thoroughly enjoyed the choice of water slides on offer. The resident choo choo train was a huge hit too.  I did venture in for a swim or two and braved a couple of the water slides....Gee I ROCK. But I more or less stayed with the towels and bags and hung out with the whoever was eating at the time or catching a bit of down time.

We seemed to have adopted a boy while we are here too....not that I am complaining...he is a cool kid.  My nephew is enjoying spending time with his cousins.  They all have gone off the movies with Jamie and my Mum this evening.  Seeing as Star Wars is not my thing I don't mind at all.  But I do have the challenge of putting at least two grumpy, over-tired and over-sunned little people to bed at a reasonably sensible time.

We are celebrating a 3rd birthday tomorrow which will be fun....I hear pass-the-parcel is on the menu. Yay!! I love kids birthday games. Oh I rumor has it there is fairy bread....come on thats everyones fav isn't it?

The weather isn't looking the greatest tomorrow but Jamie, my brother-in-law and the boys are hoping that they can squeeze in an evening fish off the beach.

Things that I am enjoying at the moment...chilled wine, fresh strawberries, Christmas ham off the bone and sun (of course).  What did you enjoy today??






Documenting December Day 27 - Summer Holiday

Day one of our summer holiday and boy is it summer down here.  33 degrees was the temperature guage as we enter the region and when I checked the thermometer at about 7pm it was still 27 or so degrees. When we got out of the car it was like stepping into an oven. We are melting. But oh it is so nice to be here. Sun, surf, sand, and BBQs with the odd water fight thrown in.

I am still battling a bad head cold which is not so good seeing we are off to Splash Planet (the local water park) for the day to celebrate a special nieces 3rd birthday. I am really hoping that I will be a least a little better tomorrow....I mean you can't go to Splash Planet and not go down a water slide or float around the lazy river.  I will definitely be having a ride on the train that circles the park all day.

I am enjoying my kids hanging out with their cousins, cousins that they only get to see a few times of the year.  Its like one giant party here...isn't that just classic summer though.  Yay for our awesome house-sitter too.....its really nice knowing there is someone hanging out in your house!!

Are you on a summer holiday at the moment? Or are you on a winter holiday?? Where are you?