Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Seasons

Seasons.  Just like nature can't work without seasons we too don't thrive without them. As much as I would like to think one could survive without winter we can't. Without a winter you won't get a spring, without a summer you won't get an autumn.  Its a circle, a life circle.

And like we experience in the world around us, we too walk through seasons. Some we like to stroll on through at a leisurely pace, some we wish we could sprint through. We have to leave one to experience the next. And sometimes it creates a vacuum of emotions. Some precious people around me are currently walking in one season and into the other and my heart is with them.

A friend is celebrating her baby girls first birthday today, in replying to my text today she said she was feeling very emotional. I think most mothers experience (well I would like to think that most mothers do) that crazy myriad of emotions of marking your wee ones first birthday. I know its something that I felt with each and every baby's of mine as they turned one! The reflection of their birth, the grieving and sadness of the end of baby-hood, celebration of making it through the first year and the excitement, anticipation of the years to come.  A strange but good day!

Another dear friend has a daughter getting married today.  She is saying goodbye to one season and hello to the next. This day again, is a day of mixed emotions as the sweet girl she brought into this world and nurtured until this day is leaving the 'nest' and is being joined together with her true love. This is something I have yet to experience as none of my children are old enough yet but I can tell you now just the thought of that brings tears to my eyes. I just want to hug my children close.

Another beautiful friend has left her comfort zone and has stepped into a whole new and foreign (albeit God appointed) world where she is in the process of finding her feet and discovering where and how she fits. She is doing so awesome!

Another dear couple is coming to the end of a season unsure of what the next one will hold or what it even looks like right now but are opening themselves to whatever God has for them. What a faith step!

Its beautiful thing to watch the seasons change for they each come with struggles unique to them but they are filled with such beauty and deep growth.  You might just need to look a little harder at times.

God has gifted us the ability to feel feelings.  For if we did not feel we wouldn't be alive, we wouldn't be living.  Each feeling is a precious gift. If we did not allow ourselves to feel deep sadness and hurt we wouldn't fully appreciate the feeling of immense joy and happiness.  If we didn't experience joy and happiness we wouldn't have anything to get us through the dark sad times.

   There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-- 2A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up.…A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. 5A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.…A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak.A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. 8A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace. - Ecclesiastes 3:9

I liken the seasons that we walk through to birth. (Just because I am a self-confessed birth nerd.)
The pain, intensity and surrendering of ones control (however that happens for you) is necessary to experience the intense and pure joy of holding your sweet bundle of squishy-brand-newness in your arms.

So whatever season of life you find yourself allow yourself to feel whatever emotion and feelings that come your way. 
Look around to where you are right now, is there an opportunity to learn or to grow? Is there someone you can connect with to help you along or perhaps you can help along? 
Are you on the brink of a change of season, wading through the thick winter mud or basking in the summer sun of life?





Wednesday, November 18, 2015

What Vision Looks Like

This is just part of what our Beautiful Crazy Faith looks like. We are walking out this God breathed, middle of the night vision of seeing every baby born in our community well clothed and cared for and every mother encouraged and supported. We are sharing our lives, our living space and our hearts with this vision. Most of the women that Loving Arms help do not have pretty stories to tell but stories of struggle, poverty, abandonment and often violence. God loves these women immensely our job is to meet them where they are, meet their needs and LOVE them until they ask why. That is all. No strings attached. Check us out here.
Our children are seeing this journey and hearing some of the stories. They are living this with us. I thank God for that. What a privilege!




Check out Loving Arms and kept up with what we are doing by giving us a 'like' on Facebook!!

Did you know you can follow Beautiful Crazy Faith on instagram? Its cool! I never know what my day is going to throw at me, but I aim to share the normal and the crazy bits with you all!
#sharnibudd77

Saturday, November 14, 2015

When the World Turns Ugly

What is one to do? I mean really, what are we to do? In the light of the ugly and tragic events in Paris and in other places throughout the world like Lebanon and Syria...what are we on the other side of the world, to do?  I don't know about you but I feel helpless, scared and sad. Tears come easily for the dead, the injured and all the hurting people effected by these terrible acts.

Yep we live in dark days.  It not just across the seas that terrible acts are being committed, one only needs to look out there front door into their own community to see ugly acts of violence and oppression. Our countries children are being beaten and killed by the people that are suppose to be loving and protecting them the most. Terror reigns in our schools in the form of bullying both in the physical and in the cyber-world. Yep we live in dark dark days.

Its easy to feel overwhelmed and scared. Its a normal response to get angry and rant or wish that justice would be served on these people committing these horrific acts both over there and at home. We see the worlds leaders planning or declaring war on the perpetrators and their countries.  "Just nuke the @#$&* out of them" is a popular statement being passed around.  But is that really the answer?

Its also easy to feel so helpless and so disillusioned with mankind and the world that we live in that we think "whats the point?"   To see our lives we live with the highs and lows we experience as insignificant and meaningless. "Why am I bothering to learn about the digestive system when people are bombing innocent lives?" is one question I read from a social media post. Another was "we seem to be on the brink of WWIII yet its kind of surreal and stupid that I am eating my cornflakes like nothing has even happened".

Its also easy to disengage from the people around us, from our community, to think of only ourselves and to view others with distrust and judgement. We begin to isolate ourselves and our families, thinking of ourselves better than those around us. We can look down on on anyone different from us because we just don't know about them.  The world is a dangerous place therefore they must be dangerous so I'll keep to myself and you stay over there. We then start to turn a blind eye and a blind ear to clear wrong doing against the young and the helpless, for fear of our own safety and that of our family. We will avoid streets, shops and schools out of fear, which in turns separates us even more causing more distrust and more dislike and in turn can lead to hatred.

But only if we understood. In these dark days its not too late for us, yes us, me and you, to make a difference. We can do much more than tint our profile pics red,blue and white or use "pray for Paris" hashtags ( not that these are bad things)  Sure we can't stop the terror bombings, world hunger, and mass killing as individuals but collectively we can make a difference and its not all that hard. The answer is love. L.O.V.E. Yes that's right a great big heart shaped heart! Now is not the time for us to remain scared and angry, or to be disillusioned nor is it time to harbor hatred and distrust. We won't be changing the world by judging and preaching at them the error of there ways. No, now is the time to connect in LOVE.  Oh I understand how hard that maybe for some. But go on love, even if its just a little bit.  Your spouse,  your kids,  your family,  your neighbors, (yep even the ones who live differently to you)  your workmates,  your class mates,  the lady that sits behind you in the bus,  the man who makes your coffee,  everyone that comes across your path in a day! Ok so it maybe a little awkward if you go around spreading love in the form of hugging everyone but how just be kind, smile, help, chat, encourage, befriend, meet a need, sweep a floor, wash a car, pull a weed, pay for a coffee or a trolley full of groceries.  The possibilities are endless when it comes to filling the world with such kindness AND if everyone was just that bit more kinder and more loving then as cheesey and cliche it might be....THAT right there will help make the world a better place.




God left us with some beautiful wisdom in how we are to live our lives, to make a difference in the world we live in. Perhaps its time to listen and act?

And He said to him, "'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' 38"This is the great and foremost commandment. 39"The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.'…                                                                                                                                -  Matthew 22:38-39



We cannot expect to change the world with condemnation, judgement and hatred but with kindness, understanding, connection and love we may just be able to start. xx

How are you feeling in light of the horrific events occurring in the world? Have they change the way you see to live your life? Have you received some unexpected kindness this week? 
Care to pay-it-forward? I dare you!


Sunday, November 8, 2015

Reflection

You know one should not read junk mail. Especially junk mail that is advertising luxury cruises to exotic destinations or high end real estate. Especially when one is feeling more than a little jaded, feeling reflective, sitting in the midst of crumbs and spilt soggy breakfast cereal  and eating peanut butter on cheap toasted bread and drinking tea that's gone cold . Seriously just don't. I promise you it will leave you feeling well....like " how the hell did I get here" or "yay, my life".   Junk mail like that is designed to make the reader (which was me this morning) feel less than grand, less than successful, less than.... well just less.  That's the point of it. They make you feel like life would be grand if you holidayed here and lived there instead of where you are right now...sitting drinking cold tea and trying not to plonk your elbows in soggy cereal.  So just don't do that to yourself.

Brand new.

Our baby turned one this past week and for me such a milestone ALWAYS makes me even more reflective than normal.  I spent time thinking about my pregnancy, her entrance into the world, the people that were around at the time, the baby-moon period, all her firsts throughout the year and mostly how she is very nearly not a baby anymore and that time is flying by all too fast.  I will admit, I am in mourning. Mourning for the time that has gone too fast, for my chubby wee baby girl who is coming to the end of her baby-hood and is on the brink of toddler-hood as she gingerly stands and walks with wobbly-ness but is oh so proud of herself.   I know some would be ecstatic about that, high-fiving everyone around them, over the moon to be out of that stage. I am not one of those people and that's ok. I am me.  I know I feel feelings very strongly that they physically hurt. I will miss her. But even though it hurts and is sad, it is good.   Its good that she is growing, exploring, learning whats in her world, touching nature and developing her own personality. So to wish that she would stop and to remain the same is wrong. I want the world for her, I want her to experience it, to learn in it and to grow in it.  That is my saving grace, my excitement. I will marvel at her as she does and I will be ok.
One year old

So during this time of reflecting I am here thinking about where we are right now, right at this moment, today. It is good. It is very good.  If you took a single snap shot of us right now could I even be bold enough to say that some may even envy us. Yes we don't have money, yes we are living in a rented 100 year old rambling farm house that is cold and draughty in winter, we don't have the latest and greatest of gadgets, the chainsaw doesn't work, some of us need shoes, our coffee cups are chipped, the floor boards are squeaky, the dishwasher leaks when it feels like it, the guttering has made their own down-pipes over the years, we have flies in summer, the carpet is wearing from having too much sun, and birds have houses and had babies in the roof.  But what we do have is outweighs all of that so many times over. We do have a house that we LOVE (warts and all), a beautiful section, a stunning view, seven beautiful children whom we get to walk through the various stages of their lives with, food in the cupboards, gorgeous, encouraging and supportive family and friends. Time to spend as a family as we seek "where to from here". My children have the luxury of time to experience their world at their own pace, exploring and investing into what ignites their passion for learning and life.  They have been given the gift of relationship with each other. I still marvel at the closeness and thoughtfulness of my older children with their baby brother or sisters. AND we have a God who truly loves us and truly cares, who we can call upon and he is there, wherever and whenever. We are living a truly blessed and privileged life.

View from our deck.


I think that is contentment, don't you? They feeling of living blessed and privileged right where you are right now.  Not worrying about tomorrow or wishing for yesteryear. Not wanting to hurry up your circumstances or your days as they do go by fast. Too fast.

I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.…Philippians:12-13 

Salad anyone? 

So my little girl is not really a baby anymore BUT she is growing up and growing up well. I can do this. I am thankful I have been with her nearly every single moment of her life. Like all the others she will slowly becoming more independent, that means I am doing my job and doing it well. Go me!

How are you feeling today? Whats one thing you are thankful for? 
What are you reflecting on? Where would you like to holiday to? 
Tell me.....