On...Passing Judgment

For the majority of the week this blog has been playing on my mind.  Don't you just love that.  It stems from two separate encounters with people passing judgement.  I tell you quite seriously that it is not nice to be on the receiving end of it.  Not at all!  Someone said once to me that "If you are going to stick your head up above the others or be somewhat different - then expect stones to be thrown at you".  I haven't really experienced this much until recently.  Yeah from time to time someone has had a problem with whatever I have blogged about but I have learnt to deal with that. I am clearly going to have to learn to deal with this kind of judgement.

Scenario One:
An acquaintance came to my house to drop something off that he had borrowed.  It was just the kids and myself at home.
Man: "Whats this?" pointing to my pregnant stomach
Me: "Number Seven" desperately hoping that my kids would start yelling blue murder like they usually do whenever I am talking to someone"
Man: Oh yeah.  I thought that this wee lad was going to be your lucky last?
Me:  No, we never said that.  Our children are lots of fun and we love having them.
Man:  Was this one an accident?
Me:  Not really, they are never an accident.
Man:  Are you going to have enough room in the house?
Me: Yup we all fit in perfectly fine.
Man: Are you ever going to stop?
Me: Don't know - at some stage.  We love having kids!
Man: Oh

While reading the above conversation, it may not seem so bad but what I can't relay to you is his body language, facial expression and tone of voice. This man clearly wasn't convinced that anyone having seven kids was a great idea and that is fine, I don't have a problem with that.  But he was openly disapproving and that made me feel very uncomfortable. If the ground would of opened up then and there I would of quite happily fallen in.  I also think he was highly inappropriate even having this conversation with me but I am a little old-fashioned like that.

Scenario Two:
Standing in the check-out line at the local supermarket.  The checkout lady knows my kids and knows that they are home schooled.  They were all waiting for me on the other side of the check out. There is a lady in front of me as I am loading up the conveyor belt with my shopping.
Lady: (to the check out operator) hmph is there no school today or something?
Operator:  Yeah, but these kids are home schooled.
Lady: shaking her head  Now that is something that should be made illegal.  No one should be allowed to do that. Home schooling is the most stupid idea. Putting those kids at a disadvantage, they are going to end up being a drain on society because they will be so dumb they won't be employable.  Child abuse that's what it is!
Operator:  Oh I don't know about that.
Lady: Of course it is. I knew a family once.  Those kids had no clue about anything, couldn't even talk to anyone unless it was their own family.  They couldn't even interact with anyone else AND they couldn't read. Its just absolutely ridiculous!  Those poor children. shaking her head again.

Now I know I could of said something, perhaps I should of said something but I was dumbfounded. I had never encountered anything like this before.  Plus she wasn't actually talking to me - I was eavesdropping.  I came away very very upset. Upset at her and upset at myself for not speaking up and defending our decision.  On reflection on this I shouldn't have to defend myself to anyone, at least not to some nasty outspoken lady in the supermarket.

These two encounters left me pondering on how we as a society treat others that maybe different or do things differently to us.  You are always, always going to have an opinion whether or not you agree with it. That is our freedom and our right.  And we are lucky enough that we live in a our country that allows us to make these kinds of decision regarding ourselves and our children. That is also our freedom and our right. But do we have a 'right' to pass judgement so openly, let alone so rudely on others?  I don't think we have. Especially when we don't know their story or anything about the facts on which they based their decision on.

(Now I know that you are all intelligent people and already know that I am not talking about peoples decisions that out other people in serious danger.  Decisions like letting their 6 year old drive the car down the road or things like that :) )

There are some highly flammable topics out there.  Topics that can break friendships and ostracize people out of families, groups and clubs.  Topics that include things like home schooling, having or not having children, vaccinating, being an out-to-work Mama or not. Oh the list can be quite long.

I think what saddens me the most is not so much that people aren't accommodating of what others may choose for themselves but is that people can be nasty about it and I mean really nasty.  Check out any blog site or Facebook page that dares to put up something different or challenges mainstream thinking!  I recently read a article about a lady who decided to stop using shampoo and hadn't done for 5 years! (I don't know how she did it but go her!) And a lot of the comments posted below the article were darn right abusive! Really, its HER hair! She wasn't saying you have to do that too! I suppose the saying "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen" rings quite true.  As a rule I don't engage in any online or real life "warfare", not on purpose anyway.  Generally if I am asked outright about what I think or what I do I'll say but otherwise I am keeping my mouth shut!  But the unfortunate side effect of that is how else are other people going to learn about and be exposed to other options if we are all busy keeping quiet about alternative options out there.

Here is what I think the "Rules" should be when encountering someone that has made different decisions than you.
1) Don't be attacking them - really no one is going to open up and share honestly if you are already attacking them with guns blazing and all!
2) Check your facials and body language - most people can tell what you are thinking about what they are saying by the look on your face and your body language.
3) Ask questions (nicely) - hey you never know might learn something.
4) Know that they aren't attacking you and your decisions. - they are just simply responding to your questions.
5) They aren't the enemy! - Remember that they probably are perfectly nice and normal people and yes you CAN still be friends with them.
6) Don't comment or tell them they are wrong, ESPECIALLY if you...
         1. Don't have a relationship with them of any kind -  sorry you just don't have that right.
         2.You have done no research or know nothing about what they have based their decisions on.
         3.You don't know their story or anything about their lives.

Often people react badly or nastily to others decisions and choices if they feel like the decision and choices that they have personally made is being threatened.  It scares people when a sliver of doubt creeps in when they are presented with a different option to the one they have made. That's when people get defensive.  If you are totally confident and have made an informed decision about the choice you have made then really you have no need to feel threaten or pass judgement on other people. They are just exercising the same right as a person and/or parent in this country as you are.  Another thing worth noting here is that 'safety in numbers' is quite applicable here.  If you happen to put your baby in a cot to sleep, you would more than likely think twice about getting into an argument about what you believe the so-called perils of bed-sharing/co-sleeping are with a room full of bed-sharing parents....and vice versa.

A friend said to me after talking to her about the lady in the check out line, that even if I did say something to her she more than likely wouldn't of 'heard' what I had to say, felt threatened herself and she probably wouldn't of changed her rigid opinion anyway.  So there wasn't really any point. Also I need to extend the same courteous to her as she should of  extended to me - I didn't know her story, she could of had a really bad experience being home schooled herself or maybe she had a migraine or...whatever.  So I will choose to let her and her vocal opinions go and move on. I am confident in my choice to home school my children and will do my very best to ensure that they do not become a drain on society in anyway!  Just like the man in scenario one, he might of come from a dysfunctional and stressed out family, perhaps he didn't have children or wasn't very close to the ones he had...or perhaps he too was grumpy with a migraine.  I will too let his lack of manners go and bring up my children the best that I can and again ensure that they will not become a drain on society in anyway!

Thoughts????

On a much lighter note....

I thought that I would share these series of photos because I love them so much!

This is Kaitlyn (7) and 'Thor'- our resident rabbit.

Thor has a pretty sweet life as he is a 'free-range' rabbit who spends his days hopping around our yard  and in the neighbouring paddock and we put him back into his cage at night away from hawks and wild cats.  

We have never lost him and is quite partial to the odd carrot! 

 Our wee Jesse (1) is tractor mad and I found this beauty online for just $5!

He loves his 'tractor tractor'!

(not that you can tell from the look on his face in this pic)

10 Things I have Learnt as a Parent

As a Mama to 6, soon to be 7 beautiful blessings there are somethings well actually a lot of things I have learnt over the past 13 years.  Wow 13 years!  Yes my eldest turned 13 just a few weeks back.

My handsome 13 year old!!

A bitter sweet moment, as we all love to watch our children grow but it definitely makes me sad because time does go so fast.  Too fast.  I know 13 years it not really that long and that their are a huge number of mothers out there who have been mothering a lot longer than I.  Not only that, there are probably a huge number of mothers that are far more evolved in their mothering journey than I too.  BUT  there are lessons that I have learnt over my 13 years that I thought I would share with you, my readers.  Shall I share....

1.   Parent as it feels right to you.  DO NOT parent for anyone else.  For far too long I parented my first one, two, three children for other people.  Probably because I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself and I was too busy trying to raise perfect children to please others and to make myself look good.  Over time I have learnt to trust in myself, trust in my children and go by what my Mama heart feels is right for my children.  I wouldn't go as far to say that there isn't a wrong way to parent because I do believe there is a wrong way.  But if you honestly have your children's best interests at heart then you are doing great!  By all means read the books, listen to the 'experts' and talk to Grandma but YOU make the decisions that are best for YOUR children.  YOU know them best!

2.   Your children will help you rediscover your sense of wonder!  I love watching small children as they discover the world around them. From the leaky hose to the garden full of earthworms, everything is exciting and amazing to them.  If you let them they will teach you how to be amazed by and appreciate the very small to the gigantic world around us.  This of course may mean you get dirtier and wetter and totally out of your comfort zone than ever before but that can only be good for us can't it!?

3.  You will be embarrassed by your children - many many times!  Actually I think they are created with the ability to force us to leave our dignity behind. From poo-ing through their nappy AND their clothes AND our clothes in front of the corporate-friend-with-no-kids-who-thinks-they-have-all-the-answers-that-you-haven't-seen-for-ages to biting giant chunks out of a number of deli cheeses forcing you to buy said deli cheeses and vomiting on the carpet and all over you at the doctors surgery to THEY WILL EMBARRASS YOU!  Get use to it.......and you will!

4.   Children are people too.  Yes I think we all know that but do we act like it - I don't know.  It really should go without saying really but you will be amazed at how many people don't realize that they aren't extending the same respect to their children as they do to every other adults in the their life.  Really in a nutshell we shouldn't really be speaking to and doing to our children that we wouldn't be saying or doing to any other adult. Sadly for some reason that is a really touchy subject for a lot of people to get their head. around and even sadder some people will severely disagree with me.

5.  You will find yourself saying the most ridiculous things ever!! Things like"Please get your feet off the cheese" (actually it was damn cheese if I am honest).  "Please don't chase your brother with that plank of wood."  "Turn the drop saw off, now!!"  "Please stop making snowmen out of your mashed potato." "No you cannot buy eggs and sell them out the gate" "You don't need to stab your sister with a pencil" "Get the drawer out of the bath - it is not a boat"  and "Stop drinking the tomato sauce!"  I could go on and on and on.  I have plenty of them.  I use to think my children were exceptionally unusual but since realised ALL children are the same.

6.   Children's sense of imagination is NEVER-ENDING and will continue to amaze you (and entertain you) but only if you let it.  I love hearing my children play games, build stuff, create worlds, and invent characters but with all this imagining going it may mean one thing for you. You are going to have to listen to them even when you can't be bothered.  You just might have to stop and listen patiently while they explain the ins and outs of their latest lego creation.  Or it may mean you might have to incorporate a pumpkin person into their daily lives.  Or sometimes it may mean that you just have to laugh and move on.  Tonight Sophie told me that she just couldn't eat her "Mr Meat Pattie" friend that she had created on her dinner plate buy squirting on a smiley face onto her meat pattie.  A very clever way of getting out of eating her dinner I thought.

These imaginary friends lasted a good few days before they went back to being....well play doh and pumpkins!

7.  You will be cleaning up messes in places that you never thought could possible .  From smeared poo to vomit, squished play-doh to hair died in tomato sauce. I have had snot-covered sultanas and sparkly pink beads up noses and chewing gum in hair.  Paint and mud covered bodies and sand down pants.  You name it I have cleaned it. But no matter how many messes you clean up there is always another one not too far away.

8.  As mothers (and as fathers) we are all on the same team - well we should be anyway.  We have all embarked on the worlds toughest mission - parenthood.  There should be no labels, no us versus them but TEAM US!!!  Unfortunately right from the get go we are divided and boxed up into our (often self) given labels.  Normal birth vs C-section birth, Hospital birth vs Home birth, Vaccinators vs Non-vaccinators, Breast feeders vs Bottle feeders, Cot-sleepers vs Co-sleepers, Home schoolers vs Mainstream school, again I could go on and on. Coffee groups and friendships have ended over these labels. None of that matters! Well it shouldn't.  I know we believe that what we do is the right way to do it and that is why we do it but don't be so arrogant it's definitely not the only way of doing it.  We all make the decisions based on what we think is right (hopefully)  and that is our right as parents.   I really do go out of my way to encourage ALL mothers (and fathers) on this amazing journey of parent-hood no matter what 'box' they may fit into.  A little bit of positive encouragement can go along way and we all need that from time to time.

9.  You are never alone. NEVER!  Unless of course your children are out for the day.  Don't try and sneak a chocolate biscuit when you think they are outside because they will walk in and catch you.  Making a phone call while the kids are around - near impossible!  I have found myself hiding in my bathroom with my foot jammed up against it so whoever is banging on the door can't get it, all while talking on the phone.  Going to the toilet alone is no longer a right, its a reward!  Little fingers under the door, small eyes as an audience, important questions like "Can I have a biscuit?" or "Can I paint my face?" being fired at you through the door.  I'll even admit I have had sad little people sit on my knee while......ok ok too much information!!  You will learn the art of having a conversation over and above WWIII, a game of chase, a nerf gun war zone and pre-dinner madness.

10.   You will never laugh as hard, cry as much, be as angry, worry as much, lose as much sleep, be as tired. You will never be as proud, as happy, or as fearful. You will never hurt as much, sacrifice as much, and LOVE as much as you do now.  You will know the true meaning of unconditional love like never have before. There is nothing that these little blessings will and can do, that would change how much you love them. You will experience such joy and passion just from the smallest things but they will be the biggest things in the world to you. From little arm squeezes around your neck to sweet butterfly kisses on your cheek. From the playful arm punch to the endearing message from your now teenage son. These are the things that matter, that keep us going in all those tough times.  Those are things are fuel for our hearts.

What things have you learnt along your journey?

More Living - De-stuff!

Yes that's right its a Toadstool! Right out of a fairytale and growing right on our front lawn.

 It might be extremely poisonous but isn't it just so beautiful! 

Just simply beautiful! *sigh*

Why you maybe asking, am I putting a photo of a toadstool on my blog that isn't going to be about toadstool?

Just because it is so simple yet so beautiful and that is more or less the theme of my post this week.

I just love them and NO ONE around here is allowed to bust them!!!

A few weeks ago I wrote a post titled 'Living More, More Living' (or was it the other way round?) Apparently according to my 'stats' it resonated with a great many of you. It seems more and more people are wanting to simplify their lives, to have less stuff, to be less busy and to live more and to do more living. Blog after blog, site after site is being dedicated to that very thing, especially to the "How-to" kind. So if there is so many sites out there to learn from why are we all stuck in the rut, still hiding under or in our houses filled with stuff or or on the brink of a breakdown from being busy all of the time.

We make no secret that we are all busy. And we all are. But what exactly is making us busy? Surely with all the time and effort saving devices that we have at our disposal we should be home free and living the life. But reality is that very few of us are. This has been playing on my mind for a while now probably due to the fact that at times I have felt that I am drowning in my sea of busyness and the STUFF that we have stuffed into our home. At times, even though I try really really hard to enjoy everyday, every moment of my life truth is I don't. I am often drowning in stuff, mess, clutter, things to do, places to go, people to text, to ring, to see, clothes to fold, meals to cook, dishes to wash, things to bake, things I should do, things I want to do, things I don't want to do (but have to), things I have to do. You know life in general. Messy isn't it.

We are all like this, all exactly the same. I have had enough, I really have. I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. Out come the rubbish bags and boxes. Time to de-stuff my house. My wonderful husband actually started this process for me and cleaned out the girls room with everything that made it a mess and found new homes for them. Then it was out went all the little bits of toys, the tiny hair brushes, the toys with the matted hair, the puzzles with the half eaten pieces (don't ask), the felts (markers) that go sometimes. Everything that I deemed pointless. Soft toys! Really do we need ALL of them, do they really love them all? I know that when people buy kids soft toys I think they secretly hope that the soft toy that they buy will be the childs 'Velveteen Rabbit' and long time pal. Reality is they won't be. I had to go through the soft toys when they girls weren't around as I tried to do it with them and every toy that went into the 'give away' bag was named Zuzu and they desperately loved them and couldn't possibly live with out them. There were many many tears. So I gave up and left it to when they weren't looking. Now all that is left in their room is a wooden dolls house with furniture and a few my little ponies to live in said dolls house. (with matted hair I might add) Their tea set. A container of a selected few soft toys and a craft box and colouring stuff. Everything else it out!! The dress up box has a new home, where it can be monitored more closely. Their room looks good, spacious and functional. I may sound mean but at least I left their beds and blankets (joke). You know the most remarkable thing has happened since then. They play in their room ALL OF THE TIME!!! They have created the most elaborate games out of what they have, things that they have never come up with before. Why didn't I do this sooner!!! Why I ask!!

On to the boys room, I showed no mercy!! At least they are a bit bigger and didn't kick up a fuss (as much). Out with any toy that only had one purpose and hadn't seen the light of day since two weeks after they were bought (toy story lovers can stop reading now). Out with any toy that had even one bit broken or it didn't work. When I say out, I was actually selective because somethings were actually still in good order, they are being donated to local garage sale. I was ruthless. I have yet to go through the games and the puzzles. I am put off by the puzzles because I am going to have to do them all! I have done the bathroom cupboards (that was fun). I am amazed at how much stuff we have accumulated. I am usually the sentimental one and won't get rid of anything but not this time. The bookcase wasn't even safe. A whole box of books packed away ready to be read by someone else. The kitchen cupboard and shelves got a going over too!

Now when I look at all the stuff I have accumulated to give to the garage sale or out to the farm dump I am embarrassed, embarrassed because it is so much money that has been spent of STUFF. Almost brings me to tears, but boy does it feel good when I look at my 'de-stuffed' house. I feel like I can breath. Everything is easier to tidy and clean, easier to put back where things belong. There are things and areas that still need to be dealt with, like my um wardrobe. I think I'll need help with that because I look at it and feel too overwhelm by it. Its not for the faint-hearted, I will leave it at that.

Are we all addicted to stuff? Why do we keep just buying and buying, storing and storing? Surely we don't need it all, yes certain things are nice to have but those certain things are cluttering up our closets, our houses and consequently our lives. I have a tendency to think that we all like our stuff as it makes us feel important, might make us feel like or appear to others that we are 'somebody', an important 'somebody'. We tend to measure ourselves and others by our 'stuff'. The more gadgets, the more gizmo's, the clothes, newest toys determines - wrongly of course- how successful we are. And we all want to be successful in the eyes of others don't we? If we are all being honest of course we do. So here we are a society teetering on the brink of breakdowns because of addiction of our busyness and our 'stuff'. What do we do about it? Do we want our kids to go down the same path? Is this living? I don't think so. Societies that practice a more simpler way of living definitely don't have the same problems we do and I for one am envious of them.

                       We all have the same amount of time to spend, how are you spending yours?

My home. 

One of my most favorite places.

OK next week I'll try to write something a little more light-hearted.
 I'll try!!

'Have nots' vs 'Have Yachts'

Just to be clear I did not come up with that title myself.  That wee phrase was coined by living-on-a-budget guru Sophie Gray of 'Destitute Gourmet' fame.  I like that term, I really do.  For me it describes that ever widening gap between poor and rich in our society, not just in our country but our world as well.  It makes me sad, it makes me feel helpless, it frustrates me, it maddens me and it makes me want to yell at people.  (Don't worry I haven't done that yet).

I am fortunate.  I have experienced both.  I am truly blessed for that.  I grew up comfortable not rich but not poor either.  There were certainly times when things were lean, very lean but we always had good food on the table, a warm house to live in, a good school to go to, clothes to wear, shoes on our feet and a number of holidays scattered through out the years.  After leaving home I could basically choose more or less where I wanted to go and what I wanted to study and I knew that I had my parents covering my back and supporting me.  I got married had a good job for a while, saved some money, spent some money and when we started having children I had the option of being able to stay home full time with our children.  Jamie worked, I looked after the kids. A good arrangement, dare I say a privileged arrangement.  The years went by and Jamie continued to work more or less in the same job and over the years he was awarded pay rise after pay rise.  The kids started a semi-private Christian school and I was still at home raising my babies.  We were blessed.  But the sad thing was, we didn't know it.  Well I think we kind of knew it but we didn't KNOW it, we didn't feel it and we certainly at times felt like we were still hard done by.  That embarrasses me now.  We really had no idea how blessed we were.  We had money in the bank for the following Christmas AND the following summer holiday in January, we could pay all our bills and we had no debt, yet at time we still found ourselves wanting more. Still worrying about money. On reflection of how we use to be I can say we could of done so much more in the world with what God had blessed us with. Oh hindsight is such a good thing isn't is.

Now that we are having a turn at living on the other side of the coin, the 'have nots' (not that we ever had a yacht but you catch my drift) and living on the brink of financial ruin on a weekly basis. I have gained insight that I never have had before. And while its not the ideal place to be, I am trusting that God is at work here and will bring us out the other side having gained a new found appreciation, a new found outlook and a new found faith.  How cool is that?!

Currently in our supermarkets.....

                                                                                                                    Credit Darryn Onekawa Ifbb Pro

I can't think of any other place to see the gap between rich and poor than the supermarket.  It is a well known fact that 1 in 4 New Zealanders are over weight and 1 in 6 are obese.  I think that is pretty appalling but whose fault is it.   I am just saying that it isn't the 'have nots' that are putting quinoa or paninis in their trolleys, nor are they putting in skinless chicken breasts or fillet steak.  I don't blame them, that food is EXPENSIVE!!  A large percentage of them are putting in fish fingers and savaloys, coke and cheap white bread.  I know because I have been tempted to do the same. The mince, don't get me started on the mince.  You can buy cheap mince for $9.00/kg that looks to be a large percentage of fat or you can get better quality mince for a much greater price. I can not bring myself to buy crappy fatty mince, I would rather go without.  It really is a awful helpless feeling, not having the choice or a lot of choice as to what you buy.  Pretty dismal really.   I am very very fortunate to have, in my opinion a moderate set of skills that enables me to make and prepare reasonably healthy food out of not much.  We are fortunate that Jamie is a hunter and more or less a successful one at that. We are fortunate enough to have the space, time and know how to have a vege garden (although it definitely could be better).  And most importantly we are very blessed to have a God that has our back and uses people to bless us from time to time.

Most people in the 'have not' department do not posses those skills etc, making the fact that they have a very limited income harder. They were not passed on the skills to bake and make good meals out of scratch, to garden or to hunt or even the ability to seek out information that will set them up with those said skills.  I am not sure why this is. Perhaps its because they are a generation that was brought up with an "out-of-the-home" working mother.  I have nothing against working Mothers at all, my own Mother was a working Mother and had to work but she was still able to pass on the skills she knew to my sisters and I. Thanks Mum. Perhaps it is the fact that we don't NEED to do those things anymore, cheap food is readily available more or less 24/7 and the choice is phenomenal. Who would of thought that you could have a whole aisle full of different breakfast cereals?!  Perhaps it is the fact that people are just too busy!!  A modern day epidemic.  I thought these skills were taught in school, I know they certainly were when I went through school.  How effective are they? Teaching kids how to cook a gourmet meal using breast of chicken is pointless if  all they are going to afford is a packet of mince.  So if people aren't being taught these skills at home or any decent skills at school then where are they suppose to learn? Hippocrates said "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food", something I whole-heartedly agree with.  So if this is the case then what is in the trolley of the 'have nots' isn't helping our nations health or their waist lines at all. I can't see how a packet of savaloys is going to be curing anything anytime soon.

In the past few years there has been a surge of magazines, TV shows and recipe books of the "getting back to basics" genre. And yes the interest sparked by wanna-be hottest home bakers and hidden domestic goddesses has been great.  What I find though is that the recipes or the dishes or new way of eating are trendy and expensive and are they doable for the 'Joe-average' person. I don't think so.  When a recipe calls for lemon grass and Bulgar wheat or coconut oil and cacao powder  it immediately becomes out of reach for many people, especially when they have a power bill that's due in two days time with no way or paying it.  I can see the thinking behind when they are buying fish and chips at the local takeaway or a packet of cheap choc biscuits.

I don't know what the answer is. I have plenty of ideas but whether or not they are feasible is another story.  I know that the 'have nots' can have a whole passel of issues that go side by side with not eating healthy or being overweight. I recognize that. From family dynamics, health problems, housing problems, unemployment, to mental health illnesses and problems with drugs and alcohol.  That is why the solution isn't a simple one nor will it ever be a quickly fixed one.  But one thing that I do know, is that people need people, people need people that care enough to help them, to teach them, to walk along side them and their journey.  We are a far too "independent-from-each-other" society of people though.

What are your thoughts??

Disclaimer: The above is entirely my own thoughts and opinions and observations from my own everyday living, by talking to people and my own experiences.  They are not based on statistics or any specific scientific data. I take no responsibility for any actions of the reader.