Friendship

Ok so you all know that I have learnt a lot over the past 16months or so. A lot about myself, about my family and friends and about my God.  This journey that we are on still continues to surprise me, stretch me and shove me rudely out of my comfort zone.  I am learning to be ever so flexible and that's cool.  No longer do I have a 'tidy' life (ha did I ever), no my life is ever-changing and highly unpredictable and you know what I am beginning to like it.

 

Slowly slowly I am beginning to find my groove, my place, my role in all this changing. I know I need to go easy on myself and recognise the fact that what we are doing is mostly seen by 'the untrained eye' as something impossible.  You know just living on a Student Allowance with six kids and home schooling, you know that kind of stuff.  We have very little idea about what next week will bring, but that's OK. Its all part of the adventure.  However just so you know, it still freaks me out from time to time when I see a need and have no idea how we are going to meet it. It scares me silly.  I am getting good at faking it, you know where you put on a fake happy face and say all is well.  There is a time for that.  Like when you have two girls whose birthdays are coming up and seemingly no way to buy presents for those special little people in your life.  But birthdays they did have, with presents, cake and a celebratory afternoon tea even!  AND we are no worse for wear because of it and my children are none the wiser.   We do share some things with them but I don't think it would be wise to share all our struggles.





One thing that I have learnt during this time is the power of friendship, REAL friendship, REAL relationships.  Oh they are just so important and powerful.  Throughout my life I have struggled with friendships especially when I was school age. I don' t know why I just did. I would have friends one day and then the next day they wouldn't like me anymore. I think this left scars on my heart more than I would care to admit until recently.  I know I guarded my heart for a long long time much to the detriment of myself.  I found myself sharing my life only 'oh so much' and then bang up went a wall, no one would get any further.  Fortunately over recent years that has changed and I have come to realise that there are women out there that genuinely care and love me.  Those women are my closest friends and I love them dearly.  Those are the women that I can share my heart, ALL of my heart and know there will be no judgment or no jealousy - (both very ugly traits in women).  Those are the women that I call on to 'download' to, share my fears and my joys with, and would be here in a moment if I needed them to be.  Friendships cannot thrive on competition, superficial-ness, judgement and jealousy. But on love, honesty, encouragement, loyalty and kindness. Thank God that I am free now to be able to enjoy such friendships.  The beginning of last year I miscarried a wee baby (bitter sweet now of course - because we have been blessed with wee Jesse). During that time my heart physically hurt though I got through that time due to my faith in God, sharing my heart with a couple of close friends helped in ways that I never thought possible.  They cried with me, held me and listened through all my raw and powerful emotions - really enough to scare anyone away, far far away.  

 

Real friends are super encouraging and genuinely pleased for you when some thing good and exciting happens for you.  Real friends don't care if you have crumbs on your bench tops and dead flies on the windowsills (a reality in my world). Real friends won't ask if you need help, they just help un-asked and won't take no for an answer when you protest. Real friends don't freak out when you cry the 'ugly cry' (you know the one where you are sobbing so hard you can't talk, have snot pouring out your nose and your mascara is dripping down your face). Real friends will have your back in the midst of adversity, not run a mile because it gets too hard for a while. Real friends will make you feel invigorated and alive after spending time with them, they will change your outlook, give you energy and inspire you. Real friends just know when and how to listen. Real friends are like putting on comfy PJs and bed socks after being in tight jeans and high heels for a whole day - familiar, welcoming and easy. Most importantly they will be happy that you are you, and want to see you live your best life!

(I don't actually wear tight jeans and high heels but I know you catch my drift)

Photo by Kaysha Leigh Budd

 

It such a cliché but life is too short to waste on pursuing unhealthy friendships.  Not only are they a hindrance to you living your best life but they really do suck the life out of you and leave you feeling frustrated, flat, negative and apathetic. 

 

Kelle Hampton of 'Enjoying the Small Things' fame and author of the book

Bloom

 (a must read if you ever get the chance)

talks about her 'net', that is a net of real friends that catch you when you need it and prop you up and continue to do so until you can stand by yourself again.  My so called 'net' isn't big and certainly not as big as hers but its my 'net' of friends who truly have my heart and I love them for it. 
I don't even need to tell these people who they are, they already know.
I am blessed, truly blessed.

 



One loved cat

Around here we love cats.  Even my husband had a severe soft spot for cats, especially poor abandoned ones.

(although he may try to deny it)

This tiny wee kitty was an orphan and only 2-3 weeks old when we somehow became her owners.   She moved in last October about 4 weeks out from my due date.

This is the kitten that Jamie fed with a dropper 3hourly day and NIGHT!

The first night that we had her she was sleeping in our room and I got up to go to the bathroom(as you do when you are 36weeks pregnant) and she woke up.

I woke Jamie up and he shot up out of bed thinking my waters had broken but no it was just to feed the kitten.
This is the kitten that had a bed made for her complete with a hot water bottle covered in soft towels for her to sleep on.
This is the kitten that Jamie taught how to go to the toilet.
(I will spare you the details to how he did that)
This is the kitten that he taught how to lap.
This is the kitten he has bathed and deflea-ed with a pair of tweezers.

Such dedication!

 

We call her Stella.

(Stell Bells, Stella Rubella and Stella Bells)

 

All the kids love her but the one that loves her the most is Sophie.

Sophie loves her so much that Stella gets lugged around nearly all day.

I don't blame her for hiding at every given opportunity.

Thanks to Sophie, Stella gets to 'high 5' everyone that comes into our house with her paw including a visiting Financial Advisor - thankfully he kindly obliged.

Sophie plays games with her, attempts to dress her, push her in push chairs and likes to put her in cupboards.

Last week I opened a cupboard where we keep our newspapers and Stella was sound asleep in there. Who knows how long she was in there?

I do have to say that she doesn't help herself by climbing into cupboard while they are open only for them to be shut on her.

Unbeknown to me I have shut her in the fridge for a good five minutes, Silly cat!

 

Our other cat is Trixie.

Stella loves Trixie. Can you tell?

I think this is a case of 'anything you can do I can do better!'

 

 

My cat likes to hide in hats!

 

There is never a dull moment around here as you probably already know.

This time it involved dear wee Stella.

See that tree, see the very top of it.

Well that is where she got stuck!

When she didn't turn up for breakfast, Jamie went on a brief walk around and heard her meowing.

We couldn't even see her.

 

It was about here, when Jamie finally got a look at where she was.

He gingerly climbed as high as he wanted to and then a bit more.

 

Poor thing was so scared that he didn't even need to hold on to her while he was climbing down, she held on to him!

 

On the ground at last!

I hope she doesn't do that again.

 

It is a little bit of a worry though when you have pets. We have had two cats now that have been run over in the last few years (R.I.P Sylvie and Tuesday) and none of them has been loved as much as Stella.

I really hope nothing happens to her, as there will be very sad little people in my house.

 

 

In our 'school'...

We are nearly at the end of our Moon Study.

It makes me smile when I hear the kids describing what phase the moon is in.

"ooooohh its a waning gibbous moon"

"Hey Mum the moon is a crescent tonight"

We did take the opportunity to have a look at the full moon this month. It is amazing anyway but through a telescope its even better.

(sorry the photo doesn't do it justice)

 

I have even learnt a fair bit. I have always known that the moon effects the tides, the water table and the water in vegetables and fruits etc but I could never have told you why. A lot of people think that its a bit hocus pocus. BUT I now know why and it makes complete logic and sense.

 

We made Moon/night-time sky pictures too!

All you need is black paper, a craft knife and a hole making device (we used a screw driver) and

Presto!

 



We put them up on the window and the light shining through the black paper makes it look like the
night-time sky

I found this photo on my camera. 

Being dressed up and having your photo taken by your older brothers....

 



 Priceless!



Time for Me!

I remember reading something not so long ago that went something like this...

"Give your child a gift....Take better care of you"

I love this. I need this.

Historically I am not good at this at all. For some reason I (and probably a lot of other Mamas out there) have this perception that we aren't being a good parent if we don't continally put our children and their needs before ourselves, consquently neglecting our needs. 

 Our need to rest, replenish, rejuvenate and refresh.

Why do we do that?

 

So.....

After self-imposed isolation for weeks on end due to Whooping Cough and Jamie going away (and due to go away again soon) I felt that it was high-time for a me break - well me and Jesse.  Breast-feeding babes go everywhere their Mamas go.

 

I didn't need to wonder where I would go, I already knew.  I needed some girl time with my bestest friend (and sister-n-law) Tash.  I really struck it lucky when I married into this family. (in more ways than one)  Often one hears of horror sister in laws but not me - no way.

My adventure starts with a trip on the bus and I must say that its no easy task that.  One pushchair/carseat, two bags and one baby all in tow.  Fortunately for me the bus driver in our wee town is super friendly.  She actually remembered me from last time I came and I was a heck of a lot bigger (pregnant).  The people on the bus are super friendly too. From the elderly lady behind me who thought I had beautiful kids and congratulated me on 'getting away' to the gentleman across the aisle from me who 'oohhhed and ahhhed' over Jesse and ended up showing me pictures on his phone of his sisters identical triplets!! 

This bus driver let the kids hop on and investigate while we were waiting to go.

 

Jesse slept all the way to the city - so kind.

Once in the city I had the difficult mission of transferring buses but fortunately for me I nice young man (gee I sound like I am 70) offered to help me with my bags. Bless him!

If you haven't been on a bus lately I suggest you try it. They are quite nice these days and the view is great!

 

So after I reached my destination, my sister-n-law picked me up for my well deserved break away!



Yes I didn't go to some retreat or the like but the very fact I didn't have to tidy mess, do any chores, had dinner cooked for me, didn't have to constantly answer question (although I did talk a lot) and was spoilt with time of friendship, walks, talks, good food and a change of scenery.

Bliss!

 

One thing that I am aware of is that I don't have a lot of photos of me and the kids, the reason being is that..

 1. I am always the one taking the photos.

2. I don't particularly like having my photo taken so I avoid it. 

So I am trying to make an effort to have more photos taken of me but usually someone needs to remind me and I may reluctantly agree.

 

Fortunately children are either too small to know or care about having their photo taken OR absolutely love it and jump at every chance to have one taken OR even steal your camera when you aren't looking and take 'many' themselves!

 



Jesse having some Aunty Tash time - doesn't he look like he is having fun!

 If you are anything like me, you don't have a lot of chances to browse around town or peruse through shops in a mall.

But first things first...

... coffee and cake!

 (make that good coffee and very yummy cake)

Love the view overlooking the city.

"Milk and Honey Cafe".

Ahhhhh...!

 

 

This was the lift going down from the cafe, the one that we had to lift the pushchair down the stairs to get too and the one that we got momentarily stuck in!

Wasn't quite sure how long you wait before you push the emergency button and we were just beginning to argue about who was going to push it (neither of us wanted to). Tash decided perhaps she should ring the cafe and tell them we were stuck when someone from down the bottom push the button and the lift started to go down.

Phew!!

But what an adventure!

A dressing room, isn't it cool!

 

Lunch

We found this dinky little cafe at the back of the Anna Stretton concept store.

It was decked out in all things retro. Very very styley!

 



I grew up with a table and chairs very similar to this!  Who knew that they would be so trendy in years to come.

Day Three we walked along the river which is smack bang in the middle of the city!  Who knew ah?

Such serenity and peace!

 

My time away was so what I needed but I missed my husband and my kids. My kids I think missed Jesse more than me as they showered him with kisses and hugs as soon as they saw him, but I'll take a close second!

 

I can only hope that every women can take the time to just be or to spend some time with your closest friend who you can just be fully yourself. Half an hour, a lunch, a day, three days...etc. Its worth it.

Just so you can be your best!