Spring is Coming!!

"Your promises have been thoroughly tested; that is why I love them so much." - Psalm 199:140

Over time I have made no secret that we have been going through a "winter" season and not just in the literal sense but in a metaphorical sense as well.  This winter has been nearly three years now and our spring "feels" like it maybe just around the corner. We are hoping and praying. Praise God!  Like the time as winter fades and slowing becomes spring where we see less frosty days, more glimpses of colour in places where there was barrenness and dead-ness and we see and feel more of the sun and its warming rays. So is it for us. Gradually we are seeing less and less of the hard, dark and gloomy days where everything seems to be just plain sucky, more glimpses of days where there is a little more colour in our moments and more experiences of lighter times, brighter days and days where we can bask in the warmth of the sun.

Please understand that our winter hasn't been all bad or doom and gloom and while we have had some pretty low days and weeks, it has been an amazing time of cutting back, pruning, reassessing, and walking out our faith one small step at a time.  We have seen God move for us in the last three years than we have ever seen him move in our entire lives. Yes people we are a living testimony that Gods promises are true and his miracles are well and truly alive today as they were over 2000 years ago!

Yes things may have not gone to plan like we thought best but Gods plan for us as individuals, as a couple and as a family has been far better than we could of imagined for ourselves.  Our steps of faith have literally been one day at a time, one meal at a time and one bill at a time.  We have grown in character and in faith over these years.  I can say that while times and days have been hard, damn hard. I will be forever thankful that we had these years.

But in all that......there is a time for everything, a season for everything and I am up for a change now and "feel" that our spring is around the corner. I am believing for it now. And while I am thankful for our winter, and know that our winter has been important,,,,I am tired of winter. Its time for spring! Time for the sun, time for the flowers and the new life that spring brings.  (hey maybe that's why this baby will be a spring baby).  Unfortunately we all need winter times to bring us back to Him, back to our Creator, back to needing him and recognising that we are nothing without Him and without Him everything is pointless.  Without winter we simply cannot have regrowth and new life, redirection or refreshment.

Without winter one cannot simply bloom!

On a lighter note.....thanks to a beautiful friend and her gift to us, we now have a new "member" to our family, Meet....Clara.

She has made herself at home, like a favourite great aunt who comes to stay and sneaks peppermints to the kiddies when the parents aren't looking.  Oh how I love Clara. She is grandly beautiful!!

Only five to seven more weeks to go until we meet our wee blessing!! I have never been one for due dates so somewhere towards the end of Oct-ish, whenever this one decides to make its way into the world.  Exciting times!  Yes I know I need an updated pregnant belly photo...I'll work on it, promise!

One of my favourite things.
For me it epitomizes the new-ness and sacred-ness of a new blessing into the world. 

What season are you in?

Where we are now.

Is it bed time yet?? This daylight savings thing has really knocked me for a six.  I mean I was wanting it to be bedtime at 2pm this afternoon!  I probably should go to bed once the kids are in bed but I can't I have a blog to write.  I must not let myself down!!!

Sorry no photos tonight,  oooooo you are in luck I found one pertaining to this post!

I get a few people every now and then that want to know what we are up to, how we are doing and where we are going.  So I thought I would give you a wee update on the daily life of the Budd family.

Its nearly been 2 1/2 years since Jamie suddenly lost his job. Two and a half years that have just flown by. Two and a half years that have been some of the hardest but totally the best years of our lives.  We firmly believe that we are where are right now is exactly where God wants us to be.  Last year Jamie took on the mammoth task of studying.  I say mammoth because it was such a task for him, for he barely made it through four years of high school.  I say mammoth because I think embarking on any kind of studying when you have a family to support and be a purposeful parent is AMAZING!!!!  He completed his Diploma of Ministry and this year we decided that he would continue with his study and complete a Diploma of Ministry Leadership.  I am super proud of him, super proud that he manages to study and complete his assignments well before they are due (unlike me who would leave it to the VERY last minute)  I am proud that he still is able to be an awesome involved Dad and loving husband.  I am proud that every time he preaches he just gets better and better. I so enjoy listening to him.

Graduation Day!!

(color co-ordination not intentional)

So in all this, me being proud of him and all tha,t there is real life.  Real everyday life. I am not going to lie to you and paint a pictures of rainbows and roses because it hasn't been.  Its been tough. I know I said earlier that its been the best years, they have but they still have been tough. Real tough.  Living off the a student allowance and family assistance (from the government) has not been easy. Not.At.All.   The word surviving comes to mind but is actually an understatement.  We have had some very hairy times. Like the time we where couldn't even afford 100g of shaved ham or a postage stamp. Oh we laughed at that, lay on our bed and laughed. I mean what else could you do.  BUT in all this we have seen and experience some amazing miracles of Gods providence.  Like the time when we had NO meat in the freezer and our food budget doesn't really extend to vast quantities of meat unfortunately.  In one day the day that we thought to ourselves 'What are we going to do?' (I kid you not) we got given three HUGE bags filled to the brim of meat, all from three DIFFERENT sources, all completely unrelated!  All sorts too, from roasts to chops, sausages to mince, beef, lamb and pork!  Talk about meat week at the Budds.  You can not deny God at work at times like those.  Yes there have been times when we really didn't know how we are going to get through the week or even the next few days. Those are the times when we have had to completely put all our strength and faith in God.  No bags of money fell out of the sky or magically appeared in our bank account but guess what - we did get through those days.  It just took some creativeness on my part in regards to meals etc.

Some maybe thinking, if you are where God wants you to be then why are you struggling so much?  Why are you just surviving??  You know I can't really say why - I am not God.  And if I am completely honest with you then I will tell you that there have been many times when I have asked God the same thing.  My conversations goes somewhat like this....
HELLLLLOOOOO GOD!!  COME IN GOD..... Are you there?
UM just wondering if you have forgotten us?  You know us....the Budds.....six kids.....studying your word...interning at church..... yeah you know THE BUDDS!"
But of course he doesn't ever forget us does he.  We may feel like it at times but he doesn't.

Joshua 1:9 says "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"

God is with us - I like that! I LOVE that!  So my guess to why this is like it is, is this.  We are learning, learning and growing and stretching. My guess is that through us is an amazing testimony of Gods faithfulness, love and providence.  A testimony of Gods power!!  Who doesn't want to be used like that!!!  Jamie and I prayed many many years ago  that we wanted to be used be God in a powerful way, that we wanted to be a family of faith! And we couldn't get there by being rested on our laurels and left to our own devices!  I am ever so thankful. So thankful for this journey we are on.

My hardest time is when I think my kids are missing out on things. It really gets me down. I think its a Mama heart thing.  Our kids didn't ask for this crazy life that we are living and I pray frequently that they don't grow up resenting us, God, or our faith.  Reality is though - that in the grand scheme of things they aren't missing out on anything of great importance. No we can't go camping at the beach, No we can't just hop off to the movies, No we can't have takeaways tonight all that stuff is just stuff - not essential! They aren't starving and have a pretty good life if you ask me.  If we do the best we can I have every faith that God will do the rest!!

Life is full of surprises and our latest one wasn't really a surprise but was at the same time.  We find ourselves excitedly expecting another blessing - due in mid October.  We are very excited and can't wait to meet this little one.  Every child we have been blessed with has just added that something extra to our family and I have no doubt that this one will do the same.  Seven children!! I know crazy times right!!! Already the kids have been coming up with names, names that no one should EVER name their children but for some reason they think they are suitable!!

I often ask God for ideas for a home business so I could at least bring in some extra money. (Especially since I have spied some funky black boots that I might like!)  So far he hasn't given me anything and I am not the crafty creative type so I can't really make anything to sell.Crikey I am still crocheting a blanket that I started weeks ago and its just a dolls blanket!!  So for now I'll continue to do what I am doing and Jamie will continue to do what he is doing and we are happy!  Thankful and happy!

My prayer for you, is that you too will feel God and see God move in your life!  You are probably reading this going No no no no not if it means going through what you are!!! No no no!  But our story will not be the same as yours could be - your will be totally unique to you and your family!

"So do not fear; for I am with you; 

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

(my all-time favorite verse EVER!!!)

2012 - the year of 'BIG'

Here we are on the cusps of 2013 and I just need to say “What a year it has been!”  I think for me/us it has been one of the biggest, with the biggest changes, the biggest challenges, the biggest growth and a year of the biggest blessings (in more ways than one).

Of course our biggest blessing would have to be the birth of our sixth child, Jesse. Born at home on the 5th December 2012, in the midst of family and some of the people that will love him the most.  Biggest being ‘our gift from God’ and our biggest being a rather impressive 9lb 15oz!  He was also a surprise breech which makes his birth all the more amazing.

Father and Son meeting each other for the first time!

   He is so adorable and he is VERY well loved by all his siblings who fight over who is going to hold him first, who got the longest cuddle and who is going next! 

 I am so in love with this little man and I can only wish I realised the short amount of time they remain so small and dependant when I had my first and second.  Being number six he is getting so loved on and I recognise in myself that I am so much more relaxed, I know how I want to and should  parent and  pretty much no one tells me to do it any differently.  This is me. And if I am going to cuddle him all night long then I am going to do it.  “You’ll be making a rod for your own back if you do that” has been tossed into conversations with me in the past.  And now my response would be (even if it would be in my own head)  “My rod, my back - now leave me alone!!”



Every year our traditions on Christmas Eve is to give the kids one present to open just before bed and its always brand new PJ's (all washed and ready to wear).  The older ones of course know what the present is but never say anything to the younger ones for whom it is still a surprise.  The photo below is the first photo we took of all six kids together.  Aren’ t they a good looking bunch?



Do you know how hard it is to get EVERYONE looking at the camera all at the same time AND smiling!  Near impossible!

 Our biggest change and the biggest challenge this year would be Jamie been at home for a whole entire year.  I am not going to call it being ‘out of work’ anymore because that isn’t where we are anymore.  For the first half of the year we were trying to make sense of all that happen and grieving for the loss of job (and income) and were busy looking and trying to replace what we had loss with the exact same thing. The money, the car, the position and the responsibility.  We prayed hard for a new job for him, believing that we couldn’t survive much longer but GUESS WHAT we have!  I feel quite triumphant about that but also very humbled by it.  There is no way that we could of survive and survived well without the blessings and provisions from God.  Yes we have had to make some changes, big changes.  What we buy, where we go and what we do has all been effected. But our vege garden has NEVER looked better! 



 

 

 

I am not saying that it has been easy because it hasn’t.  At times we have been discouraged and down about not being able to have or do the things that we think we need and want to have and do.  But we used to have those moments when Jamie was working.  By the second half of the year we both really felt Jamie is to attend Ministry Training next year and once we decided that we felt there was a great weight lifted off our shoulders and the last six months of the year has been a time of preparation and rest.  I know that the coming year is going to be a huge adjustment for us all, a huge shift in thinking and it will more than likely be filled with its own kind of hurdles and bumps in the road to overcome.  But we will just take one day at a time, put one foot in front of the other and keep on walking.

2012 has been a year for growth for me personally as I have had to put all my trust for everything in our Saviour.  I have gone deeper in not only in the Word but in also in some of my relationships with people.  Growth is inevitable when you open yourself up and have a determination to learn from whatever struggles and challenges come your way.  I now know more about myself than ever before.  My friendships have grown deeper and stronger because that’s what happens when you are in need of the strength and encouragement of others.    
 

 

 

So as we close the Chapter that has been this year I can say that I will look back on it with fondness and gratitude. I will cherish the year forever.   I am also ready to receive 2013 with open arms, an open mind and an open heart - as scary as that maybe.

 

Photo by Kaysha Leigh Budd

 

 



"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit". - Dawna Markova

Happy New Year!

Anticipating....

This may well be the last time I sit here as a mother of five.  I am sitting in anticipation, waiting....collecting my thoughts and feelings, in reflection and wonder.  Birth is very much a mental and emotional journey,  maybe even on par with the physical event.  Ones head space is ever so important.   I think I am there....I must be....as I sit and let my fingers write my thoughts...my body is doing wondrous things.

 

A tightening here, an ache there, a twinge here and a movement there!  My thoughts are never far away from this little one and our journey ahead.  I am looking forward to it. Not just for the end of a pregnancy and the discomfort that end-of-pregnancy brings but for the journey itself, for finally seeing face to face this little one that I have been getting to know over the past nine months and seeing the pride and wonder in my husbands face and the joy and excitement in my children's faces. I can't wait!  This journey has not only been mine but our family's also.

 

Photo by Maria Dorssers

 

I am now on the journey towards meeting this little one and it is good.  Birth is something that we women have been doing since time began. We know.   Its all about knowing and trusting.  Knowing who we are, who we have been created to be and trusting in God our creator, for he made us in his image. For me birth is enveloped in sacredness, in love and in tradition.  This is the sixth time I have been down this road yet it is not any less special or precious or exciting.  I have the people in place and the things that will help me along in this journey.  It may read that this is a serious only time but I tell you there has been some hilarious times too.  Laughter is good. Laughter is essential.   

 

Everything is in order now. Although I am sure I could find more things to clean, sort, throw out and fold but all the essential things are done and organised.  I am pretty sure this baby isn't going to care if the pot draw is in disarray or if the hallway needs just one more vacuum!

 

The birthday cake has been made by biggest brother Casey and awaits the start of our journey where it can be taken out of the freezer, defrosted and iced.

The Bubbles (grape juice) are being chilled.

Baby clothes have carefully been chosen, washed, folded and refolded.

 

We are all waiting......

 

I am ever so thankful that I don't have to go anywhere to have this baby, that I can just be here in my home and bask in the present of those who love me.

 

So this is us for now....(well minus 2 years)

 

we will look a bit different next time we visit together!

 

See you soon!!

xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Week So Far!

This Mama needed some time, well maybe not so much needed but wanted.  Some time spent with my most precious friend/sister in law.  My husband and his brother spend lots of weekends away hunting, so I thought is was high time we had some time together too. AND I thought that I would catch the bus.  I think the last time I was on a bus was um at school!  So umpteen years, one husband and five children later here I am, all ready to board.

They all were excited about me going on a bus. (either that or they are all really excited to have the weekend with Dad, Dad is always so much fun) So much so the bus driver gave them a tour of his bus!

There is always time to find trees to climb!

I was feeling rather famous, with my very own fan club all yelling out and waving "Bye Mum!"  "We love you!"  The elderly couple sitting in front of me thought this was very entertaining.

Did you know that buses are very nice now days?  They even lower the bus down to curb level so you don't have to step up to them and the driver even wears a hat.  Very cool!

I felt like I was part of a Country Song.  You know the ones where they sing about

a small town girl packing her bag and leaving for the big smoke.

"here I go, once again, with my suitcase in my hand.......I'm running away, down River Road"

A song by Crystal Gale I believe.  Don't ask me how I know that!

Mount Pirongia

The view from high up on a bus is amazing.

So after my most restful weekend away doing what girls to best, talking, shopping and lunching to name a few.  I could launch myself into a brand new week that was filled almost to the brim.

  Every second Wednesday home school families from around our area meet together to share, to experience and to encourage.

The "classroom" on Wednesday!

I love watching all the kids (big and small) ALL interact together.

I love watching them just muck about and explore this stream.

I love that we have these "classrooms" at our easy disposal.

My biggest girl, Kaitlyn who is very nearly FIVE, had her last day at kindy today!

So sad but oh so exciting too.

In two days time my biggest little girl will turn FIVE. 

 A milestone. A new chapter.

I pray that she will have the richest learning experiences to come and has the most precious memories of her kindy days.

In two days time we will have the biggest party to celebrate her!

A daughter is a day brightener and a heart warmer. ~Author Unknown

Ever-changing views

Every morning I get up and open the lounge/dining room curtains, and every morning God blesses me with a new view.

Foggy Sunrise

  Its the same canvas but he paints it with different brushes, uses different colours and enhances it with different shades.

Beautiful Day Sunrise

  

 Every morning, God gives us a gift of a new day, a new beginning.

A storm is coming

  Even if the previous day was sucky, today is brand spanking new. 

Peeking!

 What an AWESOME God!!