Last Night Together

You will have to excuse me if I miss any spacebar mistakes that I may miss when re-reading this blog as my 20mth old has pried off the space bar and hid it. We since have found it but its not working like it should - you now have to make an conscious effort to use strength in your thumb for it to work.  He has been doing things like that lately- scally wag!   Today I found the remote to the DVD machine floating upside down in the bath. Fortunately that still works or it was going to be bye-bye DVD machine because you need the remote to work it.  Yesterday it was another remote that had to rescued from the clutches of Jesse who was heading out to the sandpit.  I wonder what I will find where tomorrow?

So tonight it most likely the last night my wee man Jesse and I will have together.  I am sad, so sad. But also maybe a little teeny weeny tiny bit excited. Maybe about 0.5%.  Tomorrow he will be vacating our bedroom.(insert sad face here) Currently we have a giant bed between the three of us, being Jamie, Me and Jesse, a single bed pushed up against the wall and our queen bed jammed up against that.  I can roll and moved between my bed and Jesse's bed with somewhat ease and makes for midnight "uggles" (Jesse's word for cuddle) and hand-holding especially easy.  I will miss that.

But as much as I will miss it, he needs to move in plenty of time for him to get used to being in the same room with big boys and not right next to me before this next wee bubba comes along. I can't work out how I was going to bed-share with one husband, one toddler and a newborn. So with ten, eleven or twelve weeks to go before that happens now is the time. sigh! OH how I hate this!

30 week pregnant silhouette!

Fortunately I have a super duper husband that is prepared to spend the next week sleeping in a bed next to Jesse's in the room with two of the big boys. He is good like that.  And me I will get to have the entire bed to myself, be able to turn on the light at night, maybe even READ before I go to sleep AND be able to slip out of the side of the bed at night (as most pregnant ladies do multiple times a night) and not have to crawl down to the end of the bed to get out.  Now that I am looking forward to.

I ao enjoy sleeping with my children, especially my babies close to me, literally within arms reach. I enjoy listening to their breathing and their gorgeous sleeping sounds.  I love that when they are wee I don't have to get out of bed and up to feed them, we can just cuddle and fall back to sleep together.  I love that their sweet chubby fingers curl around mine or rest against my cheek and their tiny body molds itself into mine. It is so beautiful, so peaceful.  I will miss him, like I have missed all my others.

I know that this isn't everybody's cup of tea or idea of how babies and children should sleep or be put to bed and that's OK. But this works for us and our family and we will never change it.  You best be praying for me (and for Jesse) that this is a smooth transition.

Sleeping so peacefully! 

To Death with Superwomen!!

I cried today. Sat on the floor and cried. Not because I was sad or happy which is quite the norm for me but because my house was messy.  And I mean REALLY messy and I just didn't have it in me to tidy it.  So I cried.  I am such a baby.  I know that sitting on the bedroom floor isn't going to get my house tidy but it felt like the only thing that could be done as I surveyed the Sunday damage.  I call it Sunday damage because it is at its worst on a Sunday. Hey you try and get 8 people of various ages, with conflicting clothing preferences and hair style issues out the door to be on time or even early to church. Todays damage is made worse by a busy week and the kids having friends over which inevitably creates a hiccup in the household routine. (Definitely not saying that they were particularly messing or anything). My missing beater was found half licked in the flannel drawer, my washing of three days ago is still unfolded on the window seat and I let my one year old fall asleep in front of the Wiggles in his high chair.  Today has been one of those days!

People often comment to me (once they find out how many children I have) that I must be superwomen.  I should invite them to come and look around my house. I am not superwomen.  Actually I don't really like the term. Whether they intend it or not, it comes across that they think I am actually better than they are.  So not true!  Definitely not true!  I live my life and they live theirs and we each deal with whatever our lives consist of. 1...2....3 or even 13 children.  We are all coping, dealing with and living our lives to the best of our ability on any given day! When we label someone with a Superwoman status or put them on a pedestal we are actually being unfair on them by not really allowing them to be 'human' and have bad days AND at the same time we are lowering ourselves and what we are dealing with and accomplishing to the level of nothing special, nothing amazing. We are all amazing! We all ROCK!!

Yes I have six children (soon to be seven)  I love each of them dearly just like a lady with 2 children.  My bad days are just as bad as yours as are my good days. There have been days where I could of called them 'Days from you know where!'  I think back to them now and I can most laugh as I reminisce.  Like the day when I only had 3 children, my then 4, and 2 year old climbed and got a can of bright blue paint out of the shed, used a screwdriver to pry the lid open, found a pair of paint brushes and proceeded to paint the back of the garage 'bathroom bright blue'!  The garage that belonged to the landlord!  Superwomen was nowhere in sight!

Or the day when I was sitting in the doctors office with my 4 year old who was having an asthma attack, my two year old was terrorizing the room and touching everything in sight probably making sterile things unsterile with dribble and my 5 month olds bottom exploded and poo oozed out of his nappy, all up his back and down his leg and through out his car seat and was screaming because he didn't like it.  I am pretty sure the nursing staff was about to order me straitjacket! Either that or order me a whiskey. Superwomen - nonexistent!

Or the time when I was bravely stupidly grocery shopping with my 4 and 2 year old and I had a 4 month old strapped to my chest (fortunately the 6 year old was in school then) and the 4 and 2 year old were running riot as they tend to do.  They ran ahead of me and the 4 year proceeded to bite chunks out of deli cheeses.  I had a number of cheese in my shopping that day, expensive cheeses at that!  Superwomen - who is she?

Those are just three times in a whole raft of occasions where superwomen was nowhere to be found and she isn't around today either.   In fact I don't know her very well at all.  We women can be our own worst enemies and we can be good at tearing each other down too.  I remember just after I had my first baby I was just getting into the swing of motherhood (actually I still am) and I used to have a competition with the mother across the fence from me to see who could get their washing out first in the morning.  Of course she didn't know she was having a competition with me, but she always won! Grrrr.  Every morning I would feel like a terrible mother who was doing a terrible job. I am not sure anyone ever set that the benchmark for mothering, that was to see who could get their washing on the line first in the neighborhood.  It wasn't until much later that I discovered her hanging her washing out the night before!  Hmmmm CHEAT!

So if I or anyone else looks like they have it altogether. Stop and think its probably because of one of these things....
1) Been there done that!  A tantrum in the supermarket isn't that scary and terrible when you have had to deal with 67 supermarket tantrums before.

2) I am faking it til I make it! I am probably silently swearing inside my head or thinking of how I can get my kids back when we get home all the while smiling an angelic smile. I also probably have an already opened packet of TimTams biscuits that one of the kids have opened on the way around the supermarket and I have bribed them all into being good with a lollipop at the checkout.

3) I have older kids too!  Yes they maybe large in number but at least half of them can take themselves off to the toilet, know the meaning of the word 'no' (well sort of), can hold a crying baby and know where to look for the cans of crushed tomatoes if need be!

4) And I probably left my house in such a state that even CSI would have trouble making heads or tails of it.

But in saying all that....there are times where I do feel somewhat superwomen-ish!  Like when I have totally owned the huge washing pile that has been sitting there all week!  Boom - I have my cape on!  Or the time when I had succeeded in cleaning up the kitchen floor after my son vomited all over it and my waters broke on top of the vomit with my husband not home yet!  Boom - I am working that leotard!

Truth is we all have terrible times as parents, times where we can't see the wood through the trees and we think we are the only ones dealing (and reacting) to such things.  But we all have our superwomen moments where we winning at this mothering thing.  A round of applause and a big hand for all of us!

Six Month Snapshot

Previously titled 'In my Life this Month' but I thought that I would rename it to the above as I only write one of these posts every six months.  I really don't think my life is THAT interesting to do one every month.  Today is Sunday and I am tired.  I think God had an excellent idea when he made the seventh day as a day of rest because today that is exactly what I felt like doing all afternoon.  Blessed myself I did with a L-O-N-G overdue chat with my bestie on the phone.  Lost count at how long we talked for because she had to ring me back and then I had to ring her back due to a wee man with a split lip and a banana that wouldn't properly peel for him.  You know tragic things like that!

So lets begin....

In our home school.....

Well its been the school holidays here for the past two weeks something that we observe.  There is no way that the kids would let me work them through the holidays for ANY reason.  Plus I need a break too....a break from the planning, the checking up on, the correcting, the hunting DAILY for pencils, pens, scissors and rubbers that mysteriously disappear EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!  I think there is a conspiracy going on here.

What we are planning to do for the upcoming term is follow a book called "How to Make a Apple Pie Around the World".  Obviously the lesson plans will be a little different for the older kids and the younger kids but they will both follow the book.  The story follows a young girl around the world as she collects different ingredients for her apple pie.  Each week we will look at the country that she visits and the ingredient that she collects, where it grows, how it is harvested, what its used for etc.  At the end of the book of course we will make an apple pie just like the girl in the book.  Also for the older kids I am planning to put together a MasterBaker programme. Where they can learn different aspects of baking (so they don't stick to baking the same thing as they tend to do). Biscuits, Slices, Pikelets, Cakes, Breads etc.  Once they have completed all those without supervision and are edible I'll award them with the MasterBaker Graduate Award.  So that is the plan for this term.  I say plan and use that term loosely as I know that at times my kids needs change. But that is the beautiful thing about homeschooling I guess.

I am inspired by..... this book as you know.

The beauty and generosity of people.

Just some of things been donated to Loving Arms

The beauty of colour.

Such vivid colours!

Places we are going....
Well even though it hasn't been the best holidays for us around here due to a number of things, ie Terrible winter colds and terrible winter weather, we haven't ventured to far from home. Even I have to admit that its been a little boring around here.  BUT we did manage to get to visit the zoo a few days ago.  It was cold to say the least but it was so nice to be out of the house and doing something together as a family. My favourite is and always will be the giraffes. I find them so fascinating.

People we are seeing....see above for reasons but not too many people.  I did however get to meet up with a very inspiring lady from the community who has big dreams and an even bigger heart for the people she wishes to help.

My favourite thing....
Not winter that's for sure! Hmmmm do I have a favourite thing?  My electric blanket at night, My husband been home for the past week on holiday, that's been cool.

What is working for us....
Turning down our hot water cylinder!  Knocked nearly $200 of our power bill!!  I know!!  I miss having an abundance supply of hot hot water but $200 when you don't have a lot is something I can live with.
Dividing up the areas of the house when it comes to tidying up.  Works reasonably well especially when I rotate who does what areas.  The worst area according to the children is the kitchen, the best area is the hallway and front and backdoor area!

What isn't working for us...
The kids playing soccer in the hallway. Results in a smashed window!  Not happy.
Winter colds and coughs - doesn't make for good sleeping.  Poor Jesse has had a bad head cold and all night I hear Mama Mama.  He sleeps holding my hand.

Questions/thoughts I have...
-How are we going to pay for the window? We can't go through winter with it boarded up.
-How much is too much?  We live in a society of inequality and excess.  Even though its a fact of life its not right and how do you fix it?
-Where is God taking us?  Even though I love the journey that we are on, it isn't easy at times and sometimes its a little unnerving not knowing where we are actually going?

Things that I am....
-Reading...Rhinestone Jesus by Kristen Welch
-1 Samuel
-Last Read...The Centurion  by Janette Oak and Davis Bunn
-Read...The Externally Focus Quest by Rick Rusaw and Eric Swanson ...so can't wait to read that one even though its been ordered and hasn't actually arrived yet.
-Watching...Not a lot really.  I have been quite busy with various projects on the go I don't have time to watch much on TV.  I can't even remember the last movie I sat and watched and enjoyed.

I am cooking...Spaghetti and meatballs, Pizza, and I am getting really good at doing roasts too even if I say so myself.

I am grateful for...
-My husband.  He really is super. Loved having him home this week and having no outside extracurricular activities to get to.
-Our upcoming weekend away in Taupo with my sister and her family and my Mum.  So can't wait for that.  Here is hoping we can get to the snow.
-The blessing of meat.  We were blessed with a large amount of meat a week or so ago.  Meat is expensive here and I only buy it if I have too. Up until now we have been living on venison (which isn't a bad thing) but it makes a nice change having beef.
-God's continual guidance and provision. This is a common theme in my posts I know but I really am very grateful.   Two and half years since our journey began and we are still here and our daily walk though hard at times is such a blessing.
-A supportive family, friends and church. Our journey would be that much harder without them.
-This new little life that grows inside of me.   I am just about to head into my last trimester and this little ones kicks and flutters will turn into cuddles and kisses.  I am embracing this precious time because he or she is born I will have to share.

I am praying for...
-Gods continual guidance and providence.
-Growth and direction of Loving Arms. For the community to be moved by the need and mobilized into action.
-The health of the family
-The birth of this wee baby.  Not even going to pretend that my last birth wasn't hard and challenging.

Day in the Life Photos...

A rest stop at the zoo!

Maybe its because the kids are home schooled but they seem to a bit slow on the uptake of 'school yard fads'. Is that a bad thing?  But once they were introduced into the house these loom bands threatened to overtake our house. Provided a lot of hours of entertainment though.

Me at 24 weeks pregnant!

How Kaitlyn and I spent one wet afternoon.

Winter Art!

I have been getting my knit on lately.  

This pattern is so easy and if I can do it anyone can!

Found this recipe for homemade crumpets...who knew!

They were the best, a little time consuming but oh so good!!!

What are you doing this July?

On...Passing Judgment

For the majority of the week this blog has been playing on my mind.  Don't you just love that.  It stems from two separate encounters with people passing judgement.  I tell you quite seriously that it is not nice to be on the receiving end of it.  Not at all!  Someone said once to me that "If you are going to stick your head up above the others or be somewhat different - then expect stones to be thrown at you".  I haven't really experienced this much until recently.  Yeah from time to time someone has had a problem with whatever I have blogged about but I have learnt to deal with that. I am clearly going to have to learn to deal with this kind of judgement.

Scenario One:
An acquaintance came to my house to drop something off that he had borrowed.  It was just the kids and myself at home.
Man: "Whats this?" pointing to my pregnant stomach
Me: "Number Seven" desperately hoping that my kids would start yelling blue murder like they usually do whenever I am talking to someone"
Man: Oh yeah.  I thought that this wee lad was going to be your lucky last?
Me:  No, we never said that.  Our children are lots of fun and we love having them.
Man:  Was this one an accident?
Me:  Not really, they are never an accident.
Man:  Are you going to have enough room in the house?
Me: Yup we all fit in perfectly fine.
Man: Are you ever going to stop?
Me: Don't know - at some stage.  We love having kids!
Man: Oh

While reading the above conversation, it may not seem so bad but what I can't relay to you is his body language, facial expression and tone of voice. This man clearly wasn't convinced that anyone having seven kids was a great idea and that is fine, I don't have a problem with that.  But he was openly disapproving and that made me feel very uncomfortable. If the ground would of opened up then and there I would of quite happily fallen in.  I also think he was highly inappropriate even having this conversation with me but I am a little old-fashioned like that.

Scenario Two:
Standing in the check-out line at the local supermarket.  The checkout lady knows my kids and knows that they are home schooled.  They were all waiting for me on the other side of the check out. There is a lady in front of me as I am loading up the conveyor belt with my shopping.
Lady: (to the check out operator) hmph is there no school today or something?
Operator:  Yeah, but these kids are home schooled.
Lady: shaking her head  Now that is something that should be made illegal.  No one should be allowed to do that. Home schooling is the most stupid idea. Putting those kids at a disadvantage, they are going to end up being a drain on society because they will be so dumb they won't be employable.  Child abuse that's what it is!
Operator:  Oh I don't know about that.
Lady: Of course it is. I knew a family once.  Those kids had no clue about anything, couldn't even talk to anyone unless it was their own family.  They couldn't even interact with anyone else AND they couldn't read. Its just absolutely ridiculous!  Those poor children. shaking her head again.

Now I know I could of said something, perhaps I should of said something but I was dumbfounded. I had never encountered anything like this before.  Plus she wasn't actually talking to me - I was eavesdropping.  I came away very very upset. Upset at her and upset at myself for not speaking up and defending our decision.  On reflection on this I shouldn't have to defend myself to anyone, at least not to some nasty outspoken lady in the supermarket.

These two encounters left me pondering on how we as a society treat others that maybe different or do things differently to us.  You are always, always going to have an opinion whether or not you agree with it. That is our freedom and our right.  And we are lucky enough that we live in a our country that allows us to make these kinds of decision regarding ourselves and our children. That is also our freedom and our right. But do we have a 'right' to pass judgement so openly, let alone so rudely on others?  I don't think we have. Especially when we don't know their story or anything about the facts on which they based their decision on.

(Now I know that you are all intelligent people and already know that I am not talking about peoples decisions that out other people in serious danger.  Decisions like letting their 6 year old drive the car down the road or things like that :) )

There are some highly flammable topics out there.  Topics that can break friendships and ostracize people out of families, groups and clubs.  Topics that include things like home schooling, having or not having children, vaccinating, being an out-to-work Mama or not. Oh the list can be quite long.

I think what saddens me the most is not so much that people aren't accommodating of what others may choose for themselves but is that people can be nasty about it and I mean really nasty.  Check out any blog site or Facebook page that dares to put up something different or challenges mainstream thinking!  I recently read a article about a lady who decided to stop using shampoo and hadn't done for 5 years! (I don't know how she did it but go her!) And a lot of the comments posted below the article were darn right abusive! Really, its HER hair! She wasn't saying you have to do that too! I suppose the saying "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen" rings quite true.  As a rule I don't engage in any online or real life "warfare", not on purpose anyway.  Generally if I am asked outright about what I think or what I do I'll say but otherwise I am keeping my mouth shut!  But the unfortunate side effect of that is how else are other people going to learn about and be exposed to other options if we are all busy keeping quiet about alternative options out there.

Here is what I think the "Rules" should be when encountering someone that has made different decisions than you.
1) Don't be attacking them - really no one is going to open up and share honestly if you are already attacking them with guns blazing and all!
2) Check your facials and body language - most people can tell what you are thinking about what they are saying by the look on your face and your body language.
3) Ask questions (nicely) - hey you never know might learn something.
4) Know that they aren't attacking you and your decisions. - they are just simply responding to your questions.
5) They aren't the enemy! - Remember that they probably are perfectly nice and normal people and yes you CAN still be friends with them.
6) Don't comment or tell them they are wrong, ESPECIALLY if you...
         1. Don't have a relationship with them of any kind -  sorry you just don't have that right.
         2.You have done no research or know nothing about what they have based their decisions on.
         3.You don't know their story or anything about their lives.

Often people react badly or nastily to others decisions and choices if they feel like the decision and choices that they have personally made is being threatened.  It scares people when a sliver of doubt creeps in when they are presented with a different option to the one they have made. That's when people get defensive.  If you are totally confident and have made an informed decision about the choice you have made then really you have no need to feel threaten or pass judgement on other people. They are just exercising the same right as a person and/or parent in this country as you are.  Another thing worth noting here is that 'safety in numbers' is quite applicable here.  If you happen to put your baby in a cot to sleep, you would more than likely think twice about getting into an argument about what you believe the so-called perils of bed-sharing/co-sleeping are with a room full of bed-sharing parents....and vice versa.

A friend said to me after talking to her about the lady in the check out line, that even if I did say something to her she more than likely wouldn't of 'heard' what I had to say, felt threatened herself and she probably wouldn't of changed her rigid opinion anyway.  So there wasn't really any point. Also I need to extend the same courteous to her as she should of  extended to me - I didn't know her story, she could of had a really bad experience being home schooled herself or maybe she had a migraine or...whatever.  So I will choose to let her and her vocal opinions go and move on. I am confident in my choice to home school my children and will do my very best to ensure that they do not become a drain on society in anyway!  Just like the man in scenario one, he might of come from a dysfunctional and stressed out family, perhaps he didn't have children or wasn't very close to the ones he had...or perhaps he too was grumpy with a migraine.  I will too let his lack of manners go and bring up my children the best that I can and again ensure that they will not become a drain on society in anyway!

Thoughts????

On a much lighter note....

I thought that I would share these series of photos because I love them so much!

This is Kaitlyn (7) and 'Thor'- our resident rabbit.

Thor has a pretty sweet life as he is a 'free-range' rabbit who spends his days hopping around our yard  and in the neighbouring paddock and we put him back into his cage at night away from hawks and wild cats.  

We have never lost him and is quite partial to the odd carrot! 

 Our wee Jesse (1) is tractor mad and I found this beauty online for just $5!

He loves his 'tractor tractor'!

(not that you can tell from the look on his face in this pic)

Sunday

Its Sunday.  And you know what I don't really have anything for you today. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. So I am just going to write for a while and see what comes out.

Truth is its been one of those weeks, those weeks when you just go through the motion, just doing what you do to make it through. I hate living like that. It seems so....boring, so unpurposeful (spell check tells me that that it isn't word - oh well, English teachers don't look now).  I hate to feel like I am just ticking time, ticking moments, ticking jobs off.  To me that isn't living, well definitely not living very well.  I know you can't always have "moments", "excitement" "revelations" and that sometimes life just does happen around you.
But  B-O-R-I-N-G!!!

It doesn't help that I am in the throes of morning (all day and night) sickness, have a headache that just won't go away and that I want to scratch out the inside of my mouth of that awful metallic taste you get when you are pregnant.  And oh and the hunger the hunger is the worst!!!  This pregnancy I have been so hungry all of the time.  I can eat a full dinner and I am hungry in like ten minutes, fluffing around the pantry for something else to eat.  Pathetic isn't it!  I am not usually one to complain, but there you have it all my complaints in one go. I'll stop now.

And here is my 13 week pregnant self! 

 Please excuse the 'I-have-just-had-Sunday-afternoon-nap-I-have-a-headache' look that I have going on!

This week has been busy. Meetings, four soccer practices, schooling, kid drop offs at various activities, sleepovers etc. It rained for three days straight in which my washing piled high to the moon and most of my kids decided to changed their duvet (bed) covers one night and threw the previous ones in the wash. We have no dryer, need I say more!  I weaned Jesse (16mths) well he actually weaned himself which in all honesty took me a while to come to terms with. Plus I knew that the rest of my family were coming together in another part of the country far away from here to farewell an Aunty, my Mums sister Nina.  I  also survived my husband been away for five nights which makes me appreciate him even more, be in awe of solo Mums who do this every single day of there lives and to the men and women who spouses are overseas or away for long period of time.  You all ROCK I tell you!!!

I know we can't always have it happy happy joy joy. We can't always be living on the highs of life.  If we did we definitely wouldn't appreciate them and the remarkable moments and opportunities that come across our paths.  But putting things in perspective though I did have some lovely moments of my crazy boring week.

- Steps were made to bring me closer to launching a ministry for new mothers - I am super duper excited about that!
- I spent time an afternoon with a precious friend who got my washing in AND folded it while I napped on the couch. (you can only do that with precious friends)
- I got to lead a wonderful bible study with equally wonderful ladies. Beautiful ladies with huge hearts who inspire me, encourage me and challenge me.  What a privilege!
- My husband bought home enough meat to fill our freezer!  Oh so grateful for that!
- Got to celebrate with an amazing couple (who just happens to be my brother in law and his fiance) their engagement! Great night!
 - Was able to catch up with my bestie, in person!  You can never do enough of that!
- Got to go to church to worship our amazing God and chill and catch up with members of our church family.
- AND finally tonight, my husband is cooking dinner YEAH BABY!!  AND its venison back steaks in red wine and garlic jus (fancy word for sauce - yeah I can be a little bit fancy)

So I managed to pepper out some highs to my week. Things that I can appreciate, cherish and thankful for. Things that force me to look back and think well my week wasn't so bad after all.  Can you do that?

Hey would you look at that, I did manage to have something to say, something for you after all!  It really isn't like me to NOT have anything to say, I had just to dig a little deeper this week.

How has your week been?

Lessons from my 4 year old

I am not sure I like the title that I have given this post.  So bare with me if it doesn't make any sense at all.  Sometimes things happen in your life that show you just how far you have come (or sometimes but hopefully not just how far you have fallen) I like to think you and I have more of the former. This one is about how far I have come - Yhuss! 

My journey over the past few years to a more peaceful and intentional way of parenting has had many surprises and challenges.  It has provided me with challenges opportunities for reflection, learning and growth.  Oooo don't we all love those.  For too many years my parenting was more or the kind of "just deal with whatever crap comes your way - no direction - no theory - just do what you know - control your kids" kind of parenting.  But that was then and this is now. As with the rest of my life I am discovery and embracing a new way thinking and acting. And wouldn't you know I am becoming a better person in the process.  I said better - not perfect. I still stumble at times but now I am in a place where I learn from those stumbles.  We all like to learn don't we?

Yesterday my son Jayden (10) came into the kitchen and said in a very serious voice, "Mum you better come and take a look at this".  Uh oh.  Words of that sort is never a good thing.  A myriad of scenarios went through my mind from poo on the walls to feathers from a duvet all over the room and everything in between.  You know likely scenarios when you have kids.  He lead me into his room and pointed to his sister, Sophie (4) colouring in her dolls face with bright coloured pastels (aka face paint). 

Superhero dolls!

If you look closely you can see they even have masks around their eyes!!

Past Parent-Me: "What the hang do you think you are doing?  You should know that we draw on paper and not on dolls!  Now look at them, totally ruined.  That is just plain naughty.  I can't believe you would do something so stupid!  What the hang am I going to do now?  Ahhhhhh! 

.......and so on and so on!  Reads pretty awful and it sounds even worse but that is how I would of reacted and how a lot of parents still react to situations. I say this because I have heard it many times in loads of different situations.  But this isn't about them its about me.  For many many years I was guilty of reacting like the above and that makes me sad.  I would see the little girl and her eyes tearing up, yet I still wouldn't be able to stop. I would of totally missed what was actually going on or happening. Totally missed the moment in my anger.  Not to mention I more than likely would of felt bad and guilty for reacting like that, felt a failure as a parent/mother/person AND I just know I would of had to apologise to her. And who likes to do that! But fast forward to few years to yesterday and the scene played out like this!

Present Day Parent - Me: "Oh. pause BIG breath in. Sophie, what are you doing?
Sophie: looking at me with her big smiling eyes Um colouring in her face.
Me: Yes I see that.  Why are you doing that?
Sophie:  We are playing dolls and they are super-heroes and I am making her a mask on her face. See?
Me: on closer inspection Oh I see. I actually thought it looked pretty cool.  She looks like a Ninja Turtle now.
Sophie:  Kaitlyn did hers too!
Me:  Right, so even though we have super-hero dolls, what are we going to do about the drawing on the dolls because drawing on dolls isn't ideal
Sophie: It might wash off?? Yes you can wash it later.
Me:  Well you might have to help me wash it.
Sophie: Yeah but later we are playing now

I think you get the general idea.  I know that if I had taken one look at what she was doing and flew off the handle like I had done for all those years, I would of missed out on her explanation, the display of her imagination, totally shut down her creativity and how proud she sounded and made her feel ashamed.  Yes yes I know many of you will think that drawing on dolls will be seen as naughty and not looking after toys/disrespectful.  But I now know that she didn't set out to do something naughty, but to create something she needed and I actually thought it was pretty darn neat.  And the problem was easy fixed too. Soap and water!

So the problem (drawing on dolls) was still there and still had to be dealt with regardless of how I was going to react.  Now I (try) choose to leave my dignity intact, to come up another level as a parent and as a person. I am not perfect, still have moments where I react just like a big baby but moments like that are getting further apart - fortunately. Phew!!

I know that this will REALLY stretch some people boundaries in their thinking. Maybe you are thinking I am completely bonkers! That's OK - a lot of people do.  But stretching our boundaries is good, especially when it challenges you. Isn't that how we learn?  I know that we all want to have deep and loving relationships with our children. 

Let me ask you, if you were Sophie, how would you have liked me to react? 

Me, the lolly cruncher!

Whilst very kindly and somewhat sacrificially sharing my all important supply of lemonade ice blocks with my kids I noticed something about myself. All my kids sat and slowly savoured their sticks of white coldness, I on the other hand chomped through mine like someone was waiting around the corner to steal it off me. Of course there wasn't but it didn't stop me from finishing it in record time.  I have come to the realization that I am a somewhat greedy kind of gal who chomps through lollipops, ice blocks and big pieces of chocolate. Yes people I am a lolly cruncher!  I have tried a number of times in the past to be a lolly sucker and made a huge effort to slow down and savour each tasty sweet morsel of yumminess but once the conscious effort has worn off, before I know it I have already chomped into it, scoffed it down and ready to pop the next piece of whatever into my mouth.  I can't help it. I am destined to be that way forever.  I will reluctantly share my chocolate only when put under pressure though and with only those who I hold dear to me.

The ultimate sign of being sick!

Bed Hair!

The common pastime of the last few weeks in the infirmary that is my house.



However I do not what to be that way in every facet of my life.  I have this inner need that drives me all the time to slow down and savor each and every moment. (In saying that I am not really wanting to slow down and savor each moment of being sick so would be quite happy to press the fast forward button on this one).  Lets face it - life is busy, busy no matter what you are doing, how many kids you have or how old you are.  We are always busy at doing something, and if you are anything like me then you are always trying to squeeze in more to your already busy day.

I try to have things through out my day when I make a conscious effort to stop, breath and be. Something I do everyday. Like my morning cup of coffee and my late afternoon cup of tea. I pour and sit and be. My morning coffee just doesn't hold the same appeal if I have to drink it on the run and have to reheat it 33 times. Coffee is made to be enjoyed. Also if I have someone to share a morning coffee with its just that much better. Jamie doesn't drink coffee so most of the time its just me and the coffee pot going it alone. I just love it when good friends stop by and I can share a cup of Joe with them. Same with my late afternoon cup of tea - tea I might add that is to brew in a tea pot.  Not heaven forbid a tea bag in a mug deal! shudder I generally don't need to eat anything but if there is a piece of lemony lemon slice going then yup I am all in!

 

Other things that remind me to slow down and breath are intimate moments that I share with my children. You know the moments when you are actually looking into their faces and are actually seeing them and who they are as if almost for the first time.  Sadly sometimes when this happens I feel like its been too long since I have looked at whoever like that. That always breaks my mamas heart.  Why oh why does it always take such a conscious effort to savor such moments?  If we aren't careful they can almost appear like they have been stolen.  Conscious effort is just that conscious effort, yes I did say EFFORT!  To truly savor a moment you have to 1. Recognize there is a moment to be had and 2. Choose to be truly present in that said moment. Which means one can not be thinking about how you were just about to hang out the washing, thinking about checking out Facebook or having you phone attached to your hand just waiting for the next text to come through.  I can say this because I have been there and done that at one time or another.  I truly believe that most people, maybe even everyone, wants to savor moments of their and/or their children's lives. I can't imagine too many people actually want to live in a lolly crunching scoffing place.  I don't. I want to be a lolly sucking gal all the way!

          



Check out this great big ball of cuteness!



There is things that have been plaguing my thoughts over the time that I have been sick.  Plus or minus side to being sick, you choose.  One of them being how to manage the multi age/stage family that I have.  Ages around range from 12 years to 9mths and I wouldn't have it any other way.  My challenge is at the moment is, How do I protect and nurture the magic and innocence of childhood for the younger ones whilst still engaging on a more maturing level with my older ones. Any suggestions or helpful pearls of wisdom from other mamas of multi age/stage families?

Three pet ducks introducing themselves to their temporary neighbours!

Shutting my mouth!

One of my dreams for all my children is that they know and I mean really KNOW what they like and what they don't like.  Why? Well its really only in the last 5 or so years that I have discovered what I like and don't like and that is across a whole range of things too.  For years I didn't know what clothes I liked, would second guess the music I liked, didn't even know what furniture or house stuff I like and worse still my preferences would change to align to whoever was around at the time.  I am not entirely sure why that is but I don't have the time and nor is this the place to nut that one out but all I do know that I don't want my children to be the same.

So in order for them to have their own preferences, likes and dislikes I have discovered that I actually need to ...wait for it...SHUT MY MOUTH!!  Yes I do.  I need to zip it with the proverbial zip, lock it and throw away the key! (That is unless they actually ask for my opinion or advice).   My children are their own persons and they do not need me telling them whether or not the will or won't like something, will or won't be able to do it and will or won't find that boring/exciting/scary/hard/easy etc. The list goes on.

 My girls like to dress themselves *sigh* and of course they always want to look beautiful and they most definitely know what they like.  So along with other things I am trying to leave what they want to wear to them. My only requirements 1. They dress for the temperature and 2. They dress for the occasion if we are going out. So no we aren't wearing our togs together with our boots to church.  For the most part the girls both get it right and look quite well put together, other times I have had to look the other way.  The boys well - um yeah.  More often than not we have to point out mud on a rugby shirt or a rip in the crotch before we leave the house. The clothes is just one area that I struggle with but am learning to give it up. 

It came to me one day when one of the kids had picked some 'flowers' (weeds) - they thought they were just beautiful and proudly ceremoniously presented them to me.  So while they thinking  'beautiful', it came to me how quickly ones view of something could be changed forever just by a comment or less than desirable response by another.  All it would of taken would of been me to say -'Ew those are just weeds not flowers, weeds are bad!'  and they would have never looked at those 'flowers' the same again.  Of course I have never said that and hopefully no parent in their right mind do that at a time like that.  I graciously and thankfully accept all 'flowers' given to me and proudly display them in a vase, centre stage!  Like the saying goes 'of all the people in the world, she/he has chosen to give to me - be blessed!'

So the other day, just out of interest I sent Kaitlyn off with my camera and told her to go and find things that she finds beautiful and take photos of what she finds. ( I also used this as a bribe for her to finish her Maths when her interest was seriously waning - needless to say Maths was completed pronto)

Here is what she came up with:-

 A Baby Rabbit that Jamie rescued off the cat and has become a new resident here -

called Thorin!

 

Pink Camellia Flowers

 

 

 A strange looking selfie!

I am glad she thinks she is beautiful!

(but may need some lessons in taking a good selfie - help Kaysha)

 

The pink bow on her pink t-shirt!

 

Polly Pocket house

 

Funky design on the terracotta pot.

 

Rose hips

 on the badly-in-need-of-a-prune rose bush.

 

Her pink my little pony gumboots

 

I will admit I was a little surprised with what she came up with.  I never knew that she thought the terracotta pot with the funky design on it was pretty cool. 

 I am pleased that I did this experiment and I will do this with the other kids also.  I am most interested (and a little nervous) to see what they come up with.

 

As for this scrumptious wee man!

 

Isn't he just delightful.

He is finally getting into this eating thing, up until about five days ago Mamas milk was it.

Now he has branched out and will eat apple, pear, banana, nibble on toast and handfuls of dirt!

Of course!  He looooves crawling around outside and picking at the grass. Also loves to feed the chickens and the ducks.  Has learnt to clap and is getting brave and attempts to stand by himself for short periods of time.  Still hates his car seat and shares my half of the bed with me.  Loves his feet and calf muscles massaged, especially if having trouble going to sleep.  Thinks his Mama totally ROCKS with her singing of random songs that would drive anyone else around the bend but puts him to sleep!

 

 

Enjoy your weekend!!

In My Life This Month 2.

I feel I have so much to say, so much to tell you that I have decided to do an 'In My Life This Month' post. Whether or not anyone finds it interesting remains to be seen though.  July is one of those months that I just wished it hurried up and finish. And while there are aspects of winter that is fun and unique to the season I generally don't like winter very much at all. Too much mud, too much washing, too many foggy and grey days and so on and so on.  I do however love having the fire roaring every night and sometimes just sometimes getting to sit and relax with a cup of coffee right next to it.

So anyway
In My Life This Month......

In our home school.......

Since its the school holidays no 'school' work has been done, well certainly not in the formal sense. There is no way my kids would want to do 'school work' while everyone else is on holiday. Funny thing, I get asked that question all the time "Do you do school holidays too?"  Even though we are officially on holiday (even Dad is) doesn't mean no learning hasn't taken place.  We have been Geocaching and learnt about local history, deciphering clues, co-ordinates and riddles (logic).

Possibly the worlds smallest Geocache!

 

We have been very busy in the garden too. From putting top soils into our established gardens to erecting a 'glass house' to planting bulbs, plants and seeds. All which are doing well. (Apart from the lettuce who had their heads and most of their bodies nibbled off by naughty rabbits)

 

 Sophie was so excited to be planting the crop of garlic on her own!  She is especially excited now they have poked their heads up above the ground.

 

 

Helpful Home school Tips or Advice

 

Ummm... I don't know about advice but I am currently working on Pre-planning, Preparation and Time Management.  I am currently waiting for a couple of books to arrive from Fishpond. One being 'The Arrow and the Apple' which is about the story of William Tell. I am planning to feather out a unit study based around that book since my boys are totally archery mad!  The other book is 'The Giant Jam Sandwich' is which I will feather out a unit study for Kaitlyn and probably Sophie even though she is only 4 as she hates to be left out.  We will look at Wasps, Teamwork, Map-skills, Community and of course Chemistry in the Kitchen (aka Jam making and bread making). Exciting. I am really looking forward to it.

 

I am inspired by....

 

Beautiful Women and Real Friendships,  Stunning views from my window every morning, Inspiring Blogs about 'Gentle Parenting',  'Real Food' and 'Purposeful Living'.   Newborn calves born right outside our window, bright red flowers on our Camellia Hedge,  and our three pet puddle-ducks.

 

 

Places we are going and people we are seeing...

 

So apart from our geocaching jaunts and soccer games, we have been to visit family who are in the midst of calving season.

 

And I was super blessed to be able to hang out with some lovely women at a precious friends 'Mother Blessing' or 'BlessingWay'. This is an alternative to the common Baby Shower where the focus is more on the mother and the momentous and sacred occasion that is about to happen.

 

She enjoyed a deliciously thick hot-choc while we decorated her pregnant belly with henna art!



 

This candle is decorated with coloured thread that each women chose and tied around it.  She can light this when she is in labour and know that these beautiful women of strong faith will be praying for her.   

 

 

My favourite thing this month...

 

School holidays! Our garden slowly coming to life. On-going games of Scrabble and the occasional game of Memory.

 

What is working for us.....

Bedroom inspections! Even if a bribe is being offered.  At least they are tidy.

 

What isn't working for us.....

The price of petrol!  It is such a downer.  Being on a limited income every kilometre is taken into account.

 

Questions/Thoughts I have....

I have always thought about writing a book, but would anyone read it? (ok so now the secret is out)  How do I squeeze more out of my day?  I wonder when Jesse will start eating? Is it worth hanging out my washing today? Where can I find a milking goat?

 

Things I am working on....

Eliminating the words 'Hurry up' out of my vocabulary, especially when interacting with my children. Folding my washing everyday...yes I am still working on that.  Being better prepared for school this term.   Ordering my thoughts into action and then completing them.

 

Things I am reading...

Book last read:     The Externally Focused Church by Rick Rusaw & Eric Swanson

                              "How can your church get the attention of your community?" 

Current Book:      The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene

                              "A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated Children"

To Read:               Mission Girl by Fleur Beale

                              Heroes of the Holocaust by Allan Zullo and Mara Bovsun

 

I am cooking...

We have been challenged recently by a number of sources to cut down on the amount of sugar we consume. Not that we were particularly bad but like most people we could certainly do better.  So I have been making a conscious effort to reduce by at least half the amount of sugar I use in baking.  Fortunately we do have an abundant supply of honey so I can afford to have a dollop or two of honey to sweeten things up a bit if need be.

 

I was pretty proud of this batch of biscuits which are both sugar and dairy free. I was making up the recipe as I went along replacing the butter with Peanut Butter (which happens to have half the amount of fat that butter has) and two dollops of honey (harvested from Poppa Peters hives). Best of all the kids like them, so I am pretty happy with that.



 

 

This pizza was made the other day from left over roast chicken and roast potatoes and kumara. Hmmmm was really good too. When you use up all the leftovers from a meal like that I feel like I am getting a meal for free.

 

 

 

I am grateful for....

- Our house. Its large enough to fit us all in and not be standing on each other too much during these winters months.

- Firewood. Friends with trees chopped down have kindly kept us in supply of firewood for the winter.

- Health. Up until today we have been quite healthy. Casey has had a spot of asthma and today Jesse was discovered to have Bronchiolitis (sad face here).

- Gods Continual Provision. Much to the amazement of others (and occasionally ourselves) we are still living on next to nothing.  We have been in some very scary places but have gotten through them by the grace of God.

 

I am praying for....

Healing for Casey and Jesse.

Gods continual provision

To know Gods will for us as we continue to venture forth on our journey.

Wisdom and direction for 'home schooling' and other extra-curricular activities.

 

 

Day in the life photos..

 

Biggest Brother and Littlest Brother





 

What happens when the kids have a real life baby to role play with.  Jesse happily complied and was content to lie in there for ages.

 

Someone has not only mastered the art of crawling but pulling himself up to standing. With one hand even!  So clever!

 

Google and YouTube is a marvellous thing!

Here is our attempt at making a wee stove out of a tin can.

 

The beautiful view off our deck!

I wonder how many babies will be born today.

 

Again Google is a wonderful thing....

We re purposed an old down pipe into a chicken feed dispenser and it worked a treat. 

 

 Feeling very self-sufficient indeed!

 

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. it means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” - Unknown



 

 What has been happening in your life this July?