People often comment to me (once they find out how many children I have) that I must be superwomen. I should invite them to come and look around my house. I am not superwomen. Actually I don't really like the term. Whether they intend it or not, it comes across that they think I am actually better than they are. So not true! Definitely not true! I live my life and they live theirs and we each deal with whatever our lives consist of. 1...2....3 or even 13 children. We are all coping, dealing with and living our lives to the best of our ability on any given day! When we label someone with a Superwoman status or put them on a pedestal we are actually being unfair on them by not really allowing them to be 'human' and have bad days AND at the same time we are lowering ourselves and what we are dealing with and accomplishing to the level of nothing special, nothing amazing. We are all amazing! We all ROCK!!
Yes I have six children (soon to be seven) I love each of them dearly just like a lady with 2 children. My bad days are just as bad as yours as are my good days. There have been days where I could of called them 'Days from you know where!' I think back to them now and I can most laugh as I reminisce. Like the day when I only had 3 children, my then 4, and 2 year old climbed and got a can of bright blue paint out of the shed, used a screwdriver to pry the lid open, found a pair of paint brushes and proceeded to paint the back of the garage 'bathroom bright blue'! The garage that belonged to the landlord! Superwomen was nowhere in sight!
Or the day when I was sitting in the doctors office with my 4 year old who was having an asthma attack, my two year old was terrorizing the room and touching everything in sight probably making sterile things unsterile with dribble and my 5 month olds bottom exploded and poo oozed out of his nappy, all up his back and down his leg and through out his car seat and was screaming because he didn't like it. I am pretty sure the nursing staff was about to order me straitjacket! Either that or order me a whiskey. Superwomen - nonexistent!
Or the time when I was
Those are just three times in a whole raft of occasions where superwomen was nowhere to be found and she isn't around today either. In fact I don't know her very well at all. We women can be our own worst enemies and we can be good at tearing each other down too. I remember just after I had my first baby I was just getting into the swing of motherhood (actually I still am) and I used to have a competition with the mother across the fence from me to see who could get their washing out first in the morning. Of course she didn't know she was having a competition with me, but she always won! Grrrr. Every morning I would feel like a terrible mother who was doing a terrible job. I am not sure anyone ever set that the benchmark for mothering, that was to see who could get their washing on the line first in the neighborhood. It wasn't until much later that I discovered her hanging her washing out the night before! Hmmmm CHEAT!
So if I or anyone else looks like they have it altogether. Stop and think its probably because of one of these things....
1) Been there done that! A tantrum in the supermarket isn't that scary and terrible when you have had to deal with 67 supermarket tantrums before.
2) I am faking it til I make it! I am probably silently swearing inside my head or thinking of how I can get my kids back when we get home all the while smiling an angelic smile. I also probably have an already opened packet of TimTams biscuits that one of the kids have opened on the way around the supermarket and I have bribed them all into being good with a lollipop at the checkout.
3) I have older kids too! Yes they maybe large in number but at least half of them can take themselves off to the toilet, know the meaning of the word 'no' (well sort of), can hold a crying baby and know where to look for the cans of crushed tomatoes if need be!
4) And I probably left my house in such a state that even CSI would have trouble making heads or tails of it.
But in saying all that....there are times where I do feel somewhat superwomen-ish! Like when I have totally owned the huge washing pile that has been sitting there all week! Boom - I have my cape on! Or the time when I had succeeded in cleaning up the kitchen floor after my son vomited all over it and my waters broke on top of the vomit with my husband not home yet! Boom - I am working that leotard!
Truth is we all have terrible times as parents, times where we can't see the wood through the trees and we think we are the only ones dealing (and reacting) to such things. But we all have our superwomen moments where we winning at this mothering thing. A round of applause and a big hand for all of us!
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