A person's a person, no matter how small.”

― Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who!

Firstly let me say that we parents have taken on the one of the most mammoth tasks of all - raising children in todays world. I get how hard it is, I truly do. For I am raising six soon to be seven of them. I face the same struggles and difficulties as you do, I am no different. There is sometimes the perception that people that write or blog about children and parenting have it all together. That is simply not true. For I definitely do not. For most of us, we are doing the best that we know how to do with what we know and one cannot ask for anymore than what you know. The following is simply a reflection on my journey and my view on parenting. I also simply ask - do you know your journey, your story? Do you want to know more?

Do your best until you know better

then when you know better, do better.

- Maya Angelou

I was lying next to my son last night as he was drifting off into dreamland. I allowed myself to be wholly in that moment. I let all my senses experience that precise moment. Touch, Smell, Taste, Sight and Sound. The feeling of his small wee body curled and jigsawed into mine. The smell of his sweet breath and the soapy fragrance of his pajamas. The taste of little boy hair on my lips as I kiss his soft wee head. The sight of him enveloped into my body, his soft chubby cheeks and his cherubic semi-closed fist and his to-die-for luxurious long eyelashes. And the sound of his rhythmical deep breathing as he falls deeper into sleep. Could you get more peaceful?

In those moments I was always wonder if that is going to be a moment in time that I will always remember, always going to be etched in my mind. I have a lot of those moments. I reflected on how blessed I am and on how much I have evolved as a parent over the years. I have come so far. Bedtime in our house wasn't always so peaceful and still at times its not. But the thing that I love the most is that this sweet wee man gets to fall asleep embraced by someone who loves him the most. What a way to do bedtime! To really embrace this time as a parent you really have to make a mind set shift, put aside all other agendas that you have, all the other places that you 'have' to be, all the other things you 'have' to do and all the other things you 'have' to watch/view/check and be totally in the moment with your child.

I know that this is not the ideal for a lot of parents, that this will not even be possible for some parents. There will be some that totally disagree with this bedtime routine and that's OK. I don't mind, it doesn't matter. For me it works and it is a time (mostly) that blesses us both - Mama and Child. Its an experience that I wish everyone got to experience.

As I said, I often look back on my journey as a parent and I see how I used to be and I am so thankful that I am not where I was. While I am the first to admit I am not perfect (just ask my kids too) I am so blessed to be at this place where I can parent for me, my family, my heart and my God. I only wish that other parents feel the same way. For so many years, too many years I parented for other people, to textbooks, to advice that was cleverly and unfortunately disguised as scripture inspired. Oh how I cringe! I could never find the perfect fit until I let it all go and began to seek out my heart, my God, his wisdom and knowledge that fits us better. And while at times especially under stress I fall back into what I call my 'default' parent mode, and that is never pretty, I still for the most part am happy with who I am becoming and how I am raising my children.

How have you changed you may ask. How do you parent now? In one word RESPECT. Its a biggy in fact, its huge. And I am sorry but mainstream parenting lacks it. I know I have been there. The whole mindset that children must show respect for you no matter is unreasonable and wrong. Children learn by what is modeled to them by the parents/adults in their lives. If you aren't modeling respect to them, you can't expect them to show respect to you when they themselves haven't been shown it. What happens is that when they are forced or controlled into 'showing' respect to you and other adults they might act it out or be respectful on the surface but that so-called respect that they are showing you isn't real, it isn't internalised and they don't mean it. I am pretty certain that we all want our children to not only love us but really and genuinely respect us as parents.

Do I get it right? No of course not! I have a L-O-N-G way to go before I get it right all of the time. I still loose it, still get unreasonable and stubborn, still don't listen to them, still interrupt them and still shout BUT I am getting better. The best thing is that I am way more aware of my own behaviour and my interactions with my kids and my expectations of them. I am thankful for that.

Whether I am right or wrong, or you agree or disagree that's OK. I don't mind as I certainly don't agree with most other people either. My only problem I have is when it turns hateful and nasty and people start attacking each other out of what usually is ignorance and frequently fear. Fear that if they are presented with a different view that they could be wrong and who likes to be wrong AND to admit that you might be wrong would require you to change and...well GROAN...change can be very hard work!

Anything that goes against the mainstream way of thinking and acting is usually there quietly ticking away in the background. People who generally identify with a more conventional or mainstream way of doing anything are usually the ones who are shouting the loudest to be heard, wanting to be agreed with, can also be found as being the most stubborn and aggressive in their arguments. I love this quote...

"The empty vessel makes the loudest sound" - William Shakespeare

I know not everyone will understand this way of parenting or anyway of doing anything I (and others) do. I also know that I can not change the world (nor do I want to) just by what I say. We are all made to be different, that is our right. So I will quietly carry on here in the background doing what I do and evolving into the person that God created me to be. For myself and for my children.

I do want to say this.....Is there anything you are doing that you have never questioned or thought there might be a different way to do it?

How ever you want to parent, how ever you want to do anything in life make sure you are doing it for you and that it fits you perfectly. That is called living genuinely!

Go on you can do it!

PS I love when I start out to write a post and it ends up being completely different to how I intended it to be!

Photos from our week...

We rescued a cat with its head stuck in a cat food can!

One of the ducks got into our mostly emptied swimming pool. Needless to say it had the time of its life and spent the day calling to its friends to join it. They couldn't work out how to get in.

Bummer for them!