Coffee Time

Well, this is new. Coffee in the quiet.

Frankie is at her official day at Kindy today. I am not going to lie I am feeling quite lost. She more than happily went bouncing off not at all aware of the momentous milestone this is for her or for me. "Bye Mama see ya later!" No hesitation, no extra hugs, certainly no tears not even a second glance. Just pure joy!

I know I should be pleased...pleased that she is super confident and secure....and I am. I truly am. Still, I feel.... strange.

So, I have come back home to just 3 kiddies...2 of which are pretty self-sufficient and a baby and as I sit here sipping my coffee all I can here is the soft baby babble, the murmur of the 13-year-old as he works through math's problems, the drip of rain outside and the beep of the washing machine telling me it's done. I wonder how long it will take me to get used to this quiet empty space?

I am not holding on to any false ideas that I'll be resting on my laurels now. Nope....this season will be just as productive and full as the last as I move forward with @loving_arms_nz and other roles I find myself in. As you do.

Right...now to finish my coffee, message the caterers and order more vacuum bags!

Look at Him Go!

I am having trouble finding the right words to express how I am feeling about seeing this photo that was posted on our church page by our senior pastor

While we have been in the midst of all these new beginnings and big changes...my husband has been out of the country on a mission trip. It's his first time in Indonesia, his first time preaching through an interpreter and his first time being away from us for such a long time. We miss him. I know the kids miss him and can't wait for him to get back so they can share their excitement in starting school.

I have truly felt the faithful prayers of the saints during this time. Knowing that I have such an amazing church family, awesome friends and supportive family has made this huge mountain a mere grassy knoll.

I was really challenged watching a documentary about the Hillsong worship team where they were interviewing one of the wives and when asked about how she felt about her husband being gone for such long periods of time she simply said, "I see this as my sacrifice for my God...to let him go and for me to stay and to do my role (as a mother) well". As she said those words, they jolted through my spirit...for this is to be my sacrifice too....to stay and do my role the best that I can. Mother, home maker, leader, friend, daughter, event organizer, school mum.... I will do my best..."as unto the Lord" Colossians 3:23

Happy School Days

Schools in!

First day of school done and dusted! I am so proud of these three as they handled it like pros!

I feel very blessed that we have such an awesome support network. I really struggled with the thought of having to do the first day without Jamie by my side and not around for the next few weeks. But with the help of awesome family and friends and the faithful and powerful prayers of many we made it and I say not only made it but I reckon we aced it!

We are very blessed to have an awesome Christian school here where we live. I am in love with the learning environment they have created for the kids.

So, here's to our new season!

Ps I only cried once and that was when I walked through the door at church after being called in "urgently " only to find a bunch of awesome friends who threw a surprise morning tea and sung "Happy School Days" to me!

Little Shoes

In a little over a week these sandals will be occupied by the two small feet of my youngest son as he embarks in his first day of school.... like actual school.... you know the one you go to not just do at home with mum. He is excited. That makes me happy and sad. And I am feeling more than a little reflective about that. Sometimes being such a reflective person isn't all that great as one can get caught up in their own thoughts as one digs and digs around asking questions of oneself like "why do I think that?" or "what is the real issue here?" or more importantly "God what is it you are trying to teach me?"

I must have a lot of lessons to learn. Along with the purchasing of three school uniforms, school bags and lunch boxes.... (because who has those things when you school at home and a giant family size chilly bin does the trick when you go out as a family) .... I have slowly started to de-homeschool and purge things, books, activity sheets as I move from area to area. Part of me wants to keep everything just in case. Just in case what...I don't know. Perhaps I secretly think it might not work out and that I can always go back? But like Elisha burning his plow and slaughtering his oxen as a sign of 'there is no going back now!' .... I won't be. This is it. God has made it very clear that I am not to do this anymore and that our season is over.

He has other things for me and homeschooling just doesn't fit our family anymore. As a recovering 'care-what-people-think' girl I am fighting hard against worrying about what other people might be thinking or saying about the reasons why we would make such a sudden change. I KNOW that we are walking in obedience and that is all the matters. But can I just say that sometimes even when we know it's totally the right thing to do...it's hard...so hard. So, at the moment as we count down the days until school start, I am just doing one moment at a time, one step, one day keeping my eyes solely on the One who loves me and my family.

"My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth" Ps 121:2