In a little over a week these sandals will be occupied by the two small feet of my youngest son as he embarks in his first day of school.... like actual school.... you know the one you go to not just do at home with mum. He is excited. That makes me happy and sad. And I am feeling more than a little reflective about that. Sometimes being such a reflective person isn't all that great as one can get caught up in their own thoughts as one digs and digs around asking questions of oneself like "why do I think that?" or "what is the real issue here?" or more importantly "God what is it you are trying to teach me?"
I must have a lot of lessons to learn. Along with the purchasing of three school uniforms, school bags and lunch boxes.... (because who has those things when you school at home and a giant family size chilly bin does the trick when you go out as a family) .... I have slowly started to de-homeschool and purge things, books, activity sheets as I move from area to area. Part of me wants to keep everything just in case. Just in case what...I don't know. Perhaps I secretly think it might not work out and that I can always go back? But like Elisha burning his plow and slaughtering his oxen as a sign of 'there is no going back now!' .... I won't be. This is it. God has made it very clear that I am not to do this anymore and that our season is over.
He has other things for me and homeschooling just doesn't fit our family anymore. As a recovering 'care-what-people-think' girl I am fighting hard against worrying about what other people might be thinking or saying about the reasons why we would make such a sudden change. I KNOW that we are walking in obedience and that is all the matters. But can I just say that sometimes even when we know it's totally the right thing to do...it's hard...so hard. So, at the moment as we count down the days until school start, I am just doing one moment at a time, one step, one day keeping my eyes solely on the One who loves me and my family.
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