Here We Go!

Pretty much my face at the moment. I can't look but I want to, but I can't.

I'm facing some pretty big mental hurdles at the moment. I'm super excited for the 2020 year and what it will bring for me not only personally but for Loving Arms as well. I know what needs to be done but the vision is so big and its truly truly freaking me out.... I feel so ill. I remember reading a quote by someone not sure who that says "if your prayers aren't scaring you, they aren't big enough" let's just pause think about that for a moment.

My prayers are super scary for me right now....and while I can most certainly do my bit...God is going to have to do the rest. And that is requiring a huge amount of faith. I have never been one of the cool kids or in any kind if popular group or clique and I've probably had more than my fair share of rejection over the years too....so the thought of putting myself and vision so out there has me shaking in my boots. But I can appreciate my fears and why I'm feeling them and how big they are in my mind.

In saying all that I need to push through this, I need to keep walking forward and being obedient to where I'm being led...even though I want to run and hide in my closet.

So if you are a praying person...I'd appreciate some.

New Year, New Words

If you've been following me for a while now, you'll know I'm quite the reflective...plus it's a new year, a new decade even....so it's a given I've been living in my head for the past few days. It's also the time where people lock in their 'word' for the year...a word that will determine what their coming year will look like. I have two...because I'm greedy like that. Last year it was "Nuture & Nourish" and as I spent some time reading the goals and intentions for 2019, I saw where I had done well, what I had accomplished and also where the wheels fell off. My life divided into four areas...Personal, Family/Home, Ministry and Relationships.

Some successes.... I lost the remaining 4kg, remained semi-fit, launched Kaiawhina, ran 10 successful Mothers in Arms events, and made people that matter a priority.

Some unmet goals...read 2x books a month, write 3x blog posts a week, and to be more organized for birthdays and Christmas. Oops. "Grit & Grace".... these two small words pretty much sum up how I'm feeling about moving forward. While I'm still nursing some bruising over last year...I'm looking up and feeling quite spritely about the coming year. I am stronger, my faith is stronger and my resolve is stronger to love my family well and be the voice for those who have none. To make more of a difference. To love, to be loved, to serve and to live wholly and fiercely.... Grit and Grace.

As my family grows and moves forwards...I can't help but think of each beautiful one and prayer deeply for their hearts, their person. That they will each know how much they are loved...by God and by us as parents. That they know who they are and whose they are. That they find joy and contentment, purpose and blessing in all that they do.

What's you 'word' of the year? Perhaps your greedy like me and have two??!! Tell me.