Grounding!

Try as I might I'm never going to have a magazine worthy home. And now I'm ok with that. Instagram scrolling can be blame for the unrealistic expectations I put on myself and my family as something to be achieved as a sign of "winning at life". But you know what I'm already winning at life....my family is safe, healthy, fed, clothed and most certainly deeply loved. For this I'm most thankful.

Every Wednesday since April it's been delivery day for me. I strategically pack all the boxes of clothing, cots and car seats into my van and head off delivering them around the region to grateful families with precious babies. But it's taken me this long that at least for Thursday mornings I need some mental health space. I need not to think about the sights, the stories, the desperation and the brokenness of the day before. So as part of my self-care I methodically go through each room of my house.... tidying, cleaning, straightening and folding, followed by wiping and vacuuming. Not as an attempt to make a show home but as a form of deep gratitude for what God has given me and my family. This has become a time of grounding and worship for me.

As I am in each room I'm thankful that my babies aren't sleeping on the floor, in carseats or on couches. That my children have the security in knowing who is in their home at night will be the same ones when they wake. That they have access to good food to fill their bellies. That they have people who believe in them enough to stand beside them when the make mistakes, who make Drs appointments for them and create memories for them.

Oh I am far from perfect, far far far away. I know I can always do better. Everyone always can.

I just want to encourage you....no matter what your home looks like its how the people that matter most to you feel when they are in your home. Be thankful for where you are. Don't look sideways and feel disheartened because things might not match...these things don't make you a better person...if you love your babies and the precious people in your life and are doing right by them....then you are doing great!

It's the little things

There's not too many of these moments left.... where she'll climb up on to my lap, lay her head on my chest and drift off to sleep. In her safe place and perfectly content. These are the moments I want etched deeply in my memory.

Having a child leave home.... well, there's absolutely nothing in this world that can prepare you for it. Nothing. I cried. His father cried. But if nothing else it makes you thankful and it makes you reflect. I'm thankful for that we have sent him off on a positive note, excited for him and with prayers and love. He wasn't kicked out; he didn't run away...he knows he felt loved and accepted. But oh, how I miss him.

The days following him leaving were hard. It's the small things that choked me up. The folding of the washing....no washing pile for him. Five thirty on the clock....no boom boom up the street as he pulls into the driveway after work. Oh, my heart.

Its most certainly shoves the time with that we have left with the others in our faces, and it seems short. Now I want to cram all the memories in, all the conversations.... all the time. Because time is all you have...once spent you can never earn more.

The saying "the days are long, but the years are short" is 150% so very true!