Mumma's Guilt

 Isn't though?? Anyone who tells you differently is lying. 

We feel guilty quite frequently...you name it we feel guilty for it. When we were a home-schooling family, I felt guilty I wasn't earning an income, felt guilty we couldn't give our kids the latest and greatest. Now that I'm a working mum...I still feel guilty. 

To be honest after 18 or so years of being a stay-at-home mum.... getting back into the workforce (into a job I have created) I am struggling. I'm struggling with not being with Charlie at home.... (she's with her dad or me). I feel like I'm failing my children by not being a homemaker. I feel my house is a place to eat and sleep...not a home like it was. I don't have time to bake; I don't have the energy or desire to craft or make.... the washing piles up; dinners are decided at 5pm and my house isa mess. Goodness I can't remember the last time the kitchen floor was mopped. Everything that I consider homely.... I'm struggling with not being able to do like I use to.

Jamie and I are tag teaming it every single day.  I work. He works.  He helps me.  I help him. I know it's the season we are in....and I am thankful that we have a solid relationship with a common goal at the forefront of our minds.  He really is the most hands-on dad, husband.... home dad ever!

I am also thankful that our kids are on this journey with us. They've seen God move in the most miraculous ways.... but seriously if someone could fold my washing and bake biscuits for me, I'd be happy. 

I don't think mum guilt ever goes away...ever! We just have to work through it. But let's keeping talking about with our friends....let's keep each other in check. Because there's nothing worse in doing the mum thing alone!

My Favourites

Every single year I read two books. Under the Tuscan Sun and Bella Tuscany. Both written by Frances Mayes.

Every single time I glean more depth out of these books. A way to travel, my sense of escapism and I get to appreciate the authors mastery if the English language. Peppered throughout with delectable recipes that I can almost taste.... the pop of dark purple grapes, the roasted nuttiness of freshly harvested pine nuts and the heady aroma of basil growing just outside the kitchen door. I can feel the height of the summer Tuscan sun, the rich earthy-ness of the soil and the coolness of the marble bench tops.

They leave me with a yearning to eat, to drink and to enjoy long lunches and dinners late into the night with good friends and friends of friends.

I don't know if it's the way the author writes but life appears slower.... relaxed and laid back. I sense within myself that is exactly what my heart is yearning for.

So, here's me enjoy the Sunday sun on this beautiful winter's day.

What are you up to?