In His waiting room.

I have been wanting to put pen back to paper for a while now and get back into writing but it has never felt like it was the right time and what I wanted to say was the right thing.  Its true, everyone knows I have plenty of things to say but when it came down to publishing it just didn't seem right.  But really I am thinking that I had no words, no words to say what I really wanted to say because its been too hard and to painful.

I have titled this post "In His Waiting Room" because for now that is exactly where we are, in Gods waiting room. Waiting waiting waiting.  Did you know that waiting is excessively hard?  It has really brought out the worst in me, perhaps that is the point? *groan.  Jamie and I were discussing the theme of this post yesterday and he said there was a future message in this but for now I am going to 'borrow' said message and write about it.  Perhaps one day you will get to hear him preach this message.

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Thanks Mainland.   There is nothing that could illustrate exactly where we are or how I am feeling than that advert right there.   Believe me I have paced His waiting room a hundred times, a thousand maybe even ten thousand.  I have sighed, groaned, huffed and puffed, crossed my legs, uncrossed my legs, rustled newspaper as loudly as I can to try to get some attention because I feel like we have been forgotten and to let Him know that I am not at least a bit impressed in having to be kept waiting. To be really honest, I have cried, stomped my feet and maybe even thrown a tantrum or two. See I told you that it has brought out the worst in me.  Every time I get impatient and throw a little hissy fit I come back out the other side and come back to Him and say "Its OK Lord.  I know you have this all under control". And I am OK again.

 Things are tough. Real tough.  I am not just saying that to invoke sympathy or charity but I am saying because it is.  This is our reality.   I said at the end of last year that 2014 had been our hardest year yet and that I was looking forward to what 2015 had for us.  Maybe this year I should keep my mouth shut.  Because to date 2015 has been insanely hard.  I know that God has a great plan for us. I believe it because its true.  I would really really like to know just what it is...God *nudge nudge wink wink!   We started this year with gears in motion to be doing one thing only for the course to be change because it obviously not God's best for us.  We have to be OK with that.  So here we are waiting waiting and waiting.....

Every parent knows that our kids don't like to hear the word 'wait'.  Every parent knows that it can invoke some of the strongest feelings and emotions from our small children and mutters and eye rolls from our teenagers.   But like when we say wait, God to says 'wait' to us, for our own good and for a jolly good reason.  The word 'wait' is used to teach us 'patience'.  I hear you all GROAN when you read that word.  No one likes that particular word.  Patience is being able to wait calmly, even through hard times and boring times.  Note the word calmly...no foot stamping and tantrum throwing mentioned there.

You know when God is trying to say something to you when everywhere you go, everything you read and everything you watch is saying the same thing to you.  Lately its been part of James 1:2-3...
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face many trial (hard times) of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance (patience).

So this season of hard times....this really really really long season of hard and at times darkness has tested us, tested us in places and with ways we never thought possible.   Seemingly simple things have turned like crazy mental in order for us to keep coming back to Him and saying "Yes" to our God, and even though He is saying wait we will  keep living for Him, keep trusting in Him"

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" - Ps 27:14

So as Jamie and I (and the kids) wait patiently for God to move and to show us our next step, our 'where to next', we are here wondering, planning and at times just plain surviving.  We know what God has promised to us, what dreams and desires he has given us and that is what we can keep coming back to, that and His ever faithful Word.