More Living, Living more.

I wasn't sure what to name this post. Actually I am never sure what to name posts - its a very important thing.  You can decide whether or not you are going to spend your valuable time reading a book, blog or article based on the title.  I have been guilty as we all probably have, of scrolling past titles thinking ugh BORING, or that-doesn't-sound-like-me-at-all. I wonder how often though we miss out on something really special when we do that???  Just thoughts.

A few years back when I was writing for a regional bimonthly Home Birth magazine I wrote an article about the decision to turn off the TV and go (as much as possible) TV free.  At the time it was the best decision we ever made.  That was the year before we made the decision to home school.  The difference in our children was amazing and remarkable.  I do still hold the opinion that not too much can come out of TV watching even though we aren't essentially a TV free household anymore.  The kids don't watch nearly as much TV as they have done in the past but they still love a good movie watching session and do watch some TV in the early hours of the morning as I refuse to get up as early as they do.

TV is a time waster or should I say a time robber, it robs us of time, a lot of time before we even know it.  The invention of MySky (TiVO?) has probably contributed to more time watching TV as it enables us to record multiple programmes to watch at a later date.   Later???  that time later has to come from somewhere.

We took the Xbox and the computer away a few months back after battle after battle with the amount of time wasted on said machines.  It wasn't necessarily the amount of time that each child was playing on them, it was the time wasted by watching someone else playing them too.  Over time we noticed the increase in fights between the children and the stress levels while playing them.  I knew in my heart that these two things weren't good for our family but I didn't know how to stop it.  Whenever they didn't have them on the kids were bored and didn't know what to do with themselves which resulted in more fighting. And any parent will know that fighting between siblings has the potential to drive you insane.  It all came to a head one day and both were taken away for an indefinite amount of time. Do they miss them?  Yes they did, at first.  It was like I had pulled all their teeth out.  Our family during that time was hard work. But over time they have gotten use to it and now are quite happy without them.  Yes they still get the computer to use for school work since some of their work is via on line progammes.  The ability to play once again using their imagination is on the rise. They play outside more (even when its wet and cold). They ride their bikes more, play board games more, play in the sandpit more and climb trees more.  The fighting is slowly decreasing. Yes I am well aware that that may never disappear but one can live in hope.

My struggle was an internal one.  No parent wants to deprive their children from fun and things that make them happy. No parent purposely wants them to be missing out. But missing out on what?  Watching someone else play an onscreen game or build an imaginary village using blocks or running from digital zombies or ninja assassins.  I can almost hear people saying "Won't they be left behind?" or "Its the way of the future!" or "They are allowed a little fun" or "Its their down time, they need time to relax". I hear you. I do and I have said those things too.  I have read countless research both for and against gaming and screen time and I have to admit that the 'for' research is pretty darn convincing and made me feel better for a time about having it available for them.  In reality those things weren't and aren't good for our family.  One of my boys in particular can be quite obsessive about the Xbox and computer and the more he had screen time the more difficult his behavior became.

Jaydens 10th Birthday was an Xbox party! 

 Two big screens, eight players (four against four)

It was fun and he had a ball!!

Please excuse the quality of the photo.

Just so you know the amount of screen time they had wasn't excessive in my opinion by any means. The Xbox use to come out only on Sunday afternoons and they were allowed an hour on the computer whenever they were on packing and unpacking the dishwasher for the day (that's once every five days!).  But slowly over time (so slowly in fact that it went unnoticed) it became more frequent and the "special occasions" for the Xbox seemed to be coming around more and more. The kids had started (very cleverly too I might add) bartering for screen time too.  They would offer to do such and such a job if they could have half an hour, an hour on the Xbox.  At first we thought sweet we can have a tidy house or the car washed or the bathroom cleaned all for an hour of screen time.  Perhaps we felt a little guilty as we haven't been able to pay them pocket money for a good two and half years now that this could be payment of sorts.  After a while (and I am almost embarrassed to admit this) but the idea started turning on us and often we would ask them to do a job and they would immediately say "Can I have a turn on the Xbox then?"  That is not good parenting at all. The other negative thing as we found that every conversation they had among themselves or with other people was revolving around gaming, about what they had built or an epic battle, and quotes and words they came out with was from games they have played. It wasn't good at all. Really going cold turkey was the best and the only way, there was no possible way we could wean it off them gradually.  So cold turkey it was. Oh boy was that hard.  Even now I have to admit I miss it at times as it was a sure fire way to keep them quiet and entertained for a while, especially on a rainy day.  Will they make a comeback?  I am not sure, that is yet to be decided.  Its coming into winter soon and winter here is pretty damp and cold.

In saying all this, I too felt the conviction to cut down on screen time especially while the kids are around and seeing  me.  I feel like a hypocrite if I ban it from them and yet sit looking at a screen for one reason or another.  Solution; do the majority of my writing at night after they are in bed or get up extra early and write then (that one isn't going to happen in a hurry).  I don't want my children to grow up remembering the shape of the back of my head or me answering them '"I'm busy" while they know very well that I am not.  Its a hard habit to break. There is more living to do for everyone outside and away from screens. I want to live more, Don't you?   God has been challenging me on clearing out stuff that robs me of my time and my peace and while screen time was the first to go there is plenty more things to get rid of and clear out.  It feels good to have started. I'll keep you informed about my progress. (or un-progress)  I am determined to be ruthless!!! (but I may need a hand)

What do you need to get rid of in your life?

Easter - The Long Weekend

I love Easter!  Actually I love any excuse to celebrate with family and friends. There just isn't enough excuses to celebrate in my opinion.  Easter though, is up there with one of my most favourite time of the year.  It holds such scared meaning for us as a family, meaning that goes far beyond the humble Easter Egg.
The old 'EB' doesn't get much on a look in around here, yes the kids still get Easter eggs and greedily eat most of their eggs before the weekend is out. I mean come on that is what I would do! (I mean do - shhhh)

Easter weekend is filled with traditions both old and new, ones that even if we wanted too the kids don't let us forget them.  Again I love traditions, they are so important in a family, they are what holds us to each other, what gives us a sense of belonging to something much bigger than ourselves. In saying that there were a couple of traditions that we missed this year!

The wind and the rain threaten to dampen our Easter spirit this year and it nearly did a good job of it too. Our power went out at lunch time on Thursday and when our power is out we have no water.  Of course when we have no water everyone is extra thirsty aren't they!  We hold a family life group at our house every second week and at the last minute had to change locations for the occasion.  You just cannot have people at your house when you are flushing the toilets with buckets of water out of the pool!!  Family night went off without a hitch and saw the kids hunting around the house for various symbols pertaining to the Easter Story. The great big world of blogging is a treasury of good creative ideas for just about anything!
Check it out here!

Easter Friday - still no power! Groan.  I can cope without the power but no water......not my favourite! So after a quick clean up around the house we packed ourselves off for a Easter visit to Grandmas house armed with HOT CROSS BUNS of course (oh and a basket piled high with a few days worth of washing - Grandmas are good like that aren't they)  After a lovely morning of visiting and indulging on Easter treats we returned to our power back on!! Um Yay!!!  I have to admit I was getting a little grumpy about the whole no water thing.  Here is what our afternoon looked like.

Yip clean up duty!!  Not so sadly we lost an ugly old orange tree in the storm!  

Saturday we braved the town to do some last minute Egg shopping (stupid of us really) and to get a few bits and pieces for a shared lunch on Sunday.  Seriously everyone should stay away from town on a day stuck between two public holidays. Its just crazy dangerous!

Easter Sunday - the highlight of the weekend!  Even when I woke this morning and sat reading my bible, the day felt holy and sacred. I often get overwhelmed while thinking about what Jesus did for me, me who is so undeserving.  Brings tears to my eyes just typing this.

But while it was a super special day it certainly wasn't immuned to 'pre-church-I-just-want-to-get-out-the-door-with-the-house-tidy-and-no-one wearing-their-breakfast-on-their-face-and-still-in-their-pyjamas' stress and other everyday battles incidences.  

After all we are all human aren't we and I certainly don't want to pretend otherwise. 

Church was pretty special this morning.  I think everyone comes with an expectant heart and ready to worship and to thank and praise our Father. I love that.

This morning I had goosebumps.

Maybe I am a little bias but Jamie preached an awesome Easter message (his first one ever!) and together the whole congregation shared not only in the taking of communion together but a celebratory morning tea!  What a blessed morning!

Do I dare say that I do find it a little sad when chunks of the congregation are missing due to it being the long weekend and people take the opportunity to go away.  I get the spending time with family and making the most of the long weekend, we have done that in the past plenty of times but they really did miss out on something special today.

We were blessed this afternoon. Blessed with the company of good friends, AMAZING food and by golly a large quantity of laughter.  And the chocolate oh the chocolate! Eggs upon eggs upon eggs and then we can't forget the chocolate game!

Can one ever have enough chocolate?  Today I am thinking maybe.  

(But ask me tomorrow, my answer no doubt will be different.)

We thought that we could put off the traditional Easter Egg hunt until tomorrow. We tried to sell it to the kids by stating it would draw out the Easter fun even further. But alas it was not to be.

The weather wasn't our friend so we had to hide ALL 72 eggs inside! I hear you gasp!  No worries 66 of them were teeny tiny ones and 6 were big ones AND there are 6 kiddies!!!

It is actually quite hard to think of hiding spots for that many eggs when you are confined to two rooms!

Here in New Zealand where get an added bonus day off tomorrow being Monday, which makes the total weekend a glorious four day weekend!

 Ahhh I wonder who will get to sleep in tomorrow morning? I wonder if it will be me.

(please pick me please pick me pick me please)

Tomorrow will see us (weather permitting) doing another post-storm clean up of a tree down at church but other than that who knows. Its so nice having some free days with no plans.

 They can be very rare at times.

What Easter traditions do you have? 

Sunday

Its Sunday.  And you know what I don't really have anything for you today. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. So I am just going to write for a while and see what comes out.

Truth is its been one of those weeks, those weeks when you just go through the motion, just doing what you do to make it through. I hate living like that. It seems so....boring, so unpurposeful (spell check tells me that that it isn't word - oh well, English teachers don't look now).  I hate to feel like I am just ticking time, ticking moments, ticking jobs off.  To me that isn't living, well definitely not living very well.  I know you can't always have "moments", "excitement" "revelations" and that sometimes life just does happen around you.
But  B-O-R-I-N-G!!!

It doesn't help that I am in the throes of morning (all day and night) sickness, have a headache that just won't go away and that I want to scratch out the inside of my mouth of that awful metallic taste you get when you are pregnant.  And oh and the hunger the hunger is the worst!!!  This pregnancy I have been so hungry all of the time.  I can eat a full dinner and I am hungry in like ten minutes, fluffing around the pantry for something else to eat.  Pathetic isn't it!  I am not usually one to complain, but there you have it all my complaints in one go. I'll stop now.

And here is my 13 week pregnant self! 

 Please excuse the 'I-have-just-had-Sunday-afternoon-nap-I-have-a-headache' look that I have going on!

This week has been busy. Meetings, four soccer practices, schooling, kid drop offs at various activities, sleepovers etc. It rained for three days straight in which my washing piled high to the moon and most of my kids decided to changed their duvet (bed) covers one night and threw the previous ones in the wash. We have no dryer, need I say more!  I weaned Jesse (16mths) well he actually weaned himself which in all honesty took me a while to come to terms with. Plus I knew that the rest of my family were coming together in another part of the country far away from here to farewell an Aunty, my Mums sister Nina.  I  also survived my husband been away for five nights which makes me appreciate him even more, be in awe of solo Mums who do this every single day of there lives and to the men and women who spouses are overseas or away for long period of time.  You all ROCK I tell you!!!

I know we can't always have it happy happy joy joy. We can't always be living on the highs of life.  If we did we definitely wouldn't appreciate them and the remarkable moments and opportunities that come across our paths.  But putting things in perspective though I did have some lovely moments of my crazy boring week.

- Steps were made to bring me closer to launching a ministry for new mothers - I am super duper excited about that!
- I spent time an afternoon with a precious friend who got my washing in AND folded it while I napped on the couch. (you can only do that with precious friends)
- I got to lead a wonderful bible study with equally wonderful ladies. Beautiful ladies with huge hearts who inspire me, encourage me and challenge me.  What a privilege!
- My husband bought home enough meat to fill our freezer!  Oh so grateful for that!
- Got to celebrate with an amazing couple (who just happens to be my brother in law and his fiance) their engagement! Great night!
 - Was able to catch up with my bestie, in person!  You can never do enough of that!
- Got to go to church to worship our amazing God and chill and catch up with members of our church family.
- AND finally tonight, my husband is cooking dinner YEAH BABY!!  AND its venison back steaks in red wine and garlic jus (fancy word for sauce - yeah I can be a little bit fancy)

So I managed to pepper out some highs to my week. Things that I can appreciate, cherish and thankful for. Things that force me to look back and think well my week wasn't so bad after all.  Can you do that?

Hey would you look at that, I did manage to have something to say, something for you after all!  It really isn't like me to NOT have anything to say, I had just to dig a little deeper this week.

How has your week been?

Where we are now.

Is it bed time yet?? This daylight savings thing has really knocked me for a six.  I mean I was wanting it to be bedtime at 2pm this afternoon!  I probably should go to bed once the kids are in bed but I can't I have a blog to write.  I must not let myself down!!!

Sorry no photos tonight,  oooooo you are in luck I found one pertaining to this post!

I get a few people every now and then that want to know what we are up to, how we are doing and where we are going.  So I thought I would give you a wee update on the daily life of the Budd family.

Its nearly been 2 1/2 years since Jamie suddenly lost his job. Two and a half years that have just flown by. Two and a half years that have been some of the hardest but totally the best years of our lives.  We firmly believe that we are where are right now is exactly where God wants us to be.  Last year Jamie took on the mammoth task of studying.  I say mammoth because it was such a task for him, for he barely made it through four years of high school.  I say mammoth because I think embarking on any kind of studying when you have a family to support and be a purposeful parent is AMAZING!!!!  He completed his Diploma of Ministry and this year we decided that he would continue with his study and complete a Diploma of Ministry Leadership.  I am super proud of him, super proud that he manages to study and complete his assignments well before they are due (unlike me who would leave it to the VERY last minute)  I am proud that he still is able to be an awesome involved Dad and loving husband.  I am proud that every time he preaches he just gets better and better. I so enjoy listening to him.

Graduation Day!!

(color co-ordination not intentional)

So in all this, me being proud of him and all tha,t there is real life.  Real everyday life. I am not going to lie to you and paint a pictures of rainbows and roses because it hasn't been.  Its been tough. I know I said earlier that its been the best years, they have but they still have been tough. Real tough.  Living off the a student allowance and family assistance (from the government) has not been easy. Not.At.All.   The word surviving comes to mind but is actually an understatement.  We have had some very hairy times. Like the time we where couldn't even afford 100g of shaved ham or a postage stamp. Oh we laughed at that, lay on our bed and laughed. I mean what else could you do.  BUT in all this we have seen and experience some amazing miracles of Gods providence.  Like the time when we had NO meat in the freezer and our food budget doesn't really extend to vast quantities of meat unfortunately.  In one day the day that we thought to ourselves 'What are we going to do?' (I kid you not) we got given three HUGE bags filled to the brim of meat, all from three DIFFERENT sources, all completely unrelated!  All sorts too, from roasts to chops, sausages to mince, beef, lamb and pork!  Talk about meat week at the Budds.  You can not deny God at work at times like those.  Yes there have been times when we really didn't know how we are going to get through the week or even the next few days. Those are the times when we have had to completely put all our strength and faith in God.  No bags of money fell out of the sky or magically appeared in our bank account but guess what - we did get through those days.  It just took some creativeness on my part in regards to meals etc.

Some maybe thinking, if you are where God wants you to be then why are you struggling so much?  Why are you just surviving??  You know I can't really say why - I am not God.  And if I am completely honest with you then I will tell you that there have been many times when I have asked God the same thing.  My conversations goes somewhat like this....
HELLLLLOOOOO GOD!!  COME IN GOD..... Are you there?
UM just wondering if you have forgotten us?  You know us....the Budds.....six kids.....studying your word...interning at church..... yeah you know THE BUDDS!"
But of course he doesn't ever forget us does he.  We may feel like it at times but he doesn't.

Joshua 1:9 says "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"

God is with us - I like that! I LOVE that!  So my guess to why this is like it is, is this.  We are learning, learning and growing and stretching. My guess is that through us is an amazing testimony of Gods faithfulness, love and providence.  A testimony of Gods power!!  Who doesn't want to be used like that!!!  Jamie and I prayed many many years ago  that we wanted to be used be God in a powerful way, that we wanted to be a family of faith! And we couldn't get there by being rested on our laurels and left to our own devices!  I am ever so thankful. So thankful for this journey we are on.

My hardest time is when I think my kids are missing out on things. It really gets me down. I think its a Mama heart thing.  Our kids didn't ask for this crazy life that we are living and I pray frequently that they don't grow up resenting us, God, or our faith.  Reality is though - that in the grand scheme of things they aren't missing out on anything of great importance. No we can't go camping at the beach, No we can't just hop off to the movies, No we can't have takeaways tonight all that stuff is just stuff - not essential! They aren't starving and have a pretty good life if you ask me.  If we do the best we can I have every faith that God will do the rest!!

Life is full of surprises and our latest one wasn't really a surprise but was at the same time.  We find ourselves excitedly expecting another blessing - due in mid October.  We are very excited and can't wait to meet this little one.  Every child we have been blessed with has just added that something extra to our family and I have no doubt that this one will do the same.  Seven children!! I know crazy times right!!! Already the kids have been coming up with names, names that no one should EVER name their children but for some reason they think they are suitable!!

I often ask God for ideas for a home business so I could at least bring in some extra money. (Especially since I have spied some funky black boots that I might like!)  So far he hasn't given me anything and I am not the crafty creative type so I can't really make anything to sell.Crikey I am still crocheting a blanket that I started weeks ago and its just a dolls blanket!!  So for now I'll continue to do what I am doing and Jamie will continue to do what he is doing and we are happy!  Thankful and happy!

My prayer for you, is that you too will feel God and see God move in your life!  You are probably reading this going No no no no not if it means going through what you are!!! No no no!  But our story will not be the same as yours could be - your will be totally unique to you and your family!

"So do not fear; for I am with you; 

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

(my all-time favorite verse EVER!!!)