'Have nots' vs 'Have Yachts'

Just to be clear I did not come up with that title myself.  That wee phrase was coined by living-on-a-budget guru Sophie Gray of 'Destitute Gourmet' fame.  I like that term, I really do.  For me it describes that ever widening gap between poor and rich in our society, not just in our country but our world as well.  It makes me sad, it makes me feel helpless, it frustrates me, it maddens me and it makes me want to yell at people.  (Don't worry I haven't done that yet).

I am fortunate.  I have experienced both.  I am truly blessed for that.  I grew up comfortable not rich but not poor either.  There were certainly times when things were lean, very lean but we always had good food on the table, a warm house to live in, a good school to go to, clothes to wear, shoes on our feet and a number of holidays scattered through out the years.  After leaving home I could basically choose more or less where I wanted to go and what I wanted to study and I knew that I had my parents covering my back and supporting me.  I got married had a good job for a while, saved some money, spent some money and when we started having children I had the option of being able to stay home full time with our children.  Jamie worked, I looked after the kids. A good arrangement, dare I say a privileged arrangement.  The years went by and Jamie continued to work more or less in the same job and over the years he was awarded pay rise after pay rise.  The kids started a semi-private Christian school and I was still at home raising my babies.  We were blessed.  But the sad thing was, we didn't know it.  Well I think we kind of knew it but we didn't KNOW it, we didn't feel it and we certainly at times felt like we were still hard done by.  That embarrasses me now.  We really had no idea how blessed we were.  We had money in the bank for the following Christmas AND the following summer holiday in January, we could pay all our bills and we had no debt, yet at time we still found ourselves wanting more. Still worrying about money. On reflection of how we use to be I can say we could of done so much more in the world with what God had blessed us with. Oh hindsight is such a good thing isn't is.

Now that we are having a turn at living on the other side of the coin, the 'have nots' (not that we ever had a yacht but you catch my drift) and living on the brink of financial ruin on a weekly basis. I have gained insight that I never have had before. And while its not the ideal place to be, I am trusting that God is at work here and will bring us out the other side having gained a new found appreciation, a new found outlook and a new found faith.  How cool is that?!

Currently in our supermarkets.....

     Credit Darryn Onekawa Ifbb Pro

                                                                                                            

I can't think of any other place to see the gap between rich and poor than the supermarket.  It is a well known fact that 1 in 4 New Zealanders are over weight and 1 in 6 are obese.  I think that is pretty appalling but whose fault is it.   I am just saying that it isn't the 'have nots' that are putting quinoa or paninis in their trolleys, nor are they putting in skinless chicken breasts or fillet steak.  I don't blame them, that food is EXPENSIVE!!  A large percentage of them are putting in fish fingers and savaloys, coke and cheap white bread.  I know because I have been tempted to do the same. The mince, don't get me started on the mince.  You can buy cheap mince for $9.00/kg that looks to be a large percentage of fat or you can get better quality mince for a much greater price. I can not bring myself to buy crappy fatty mince, I would rather go without.  It really is a awful helpless feeling, not having the choice or a lot of choice as to what you buy.  Pretty dismal really.   I am very very fortunate to have, in my opinion a moderate set of skills that enables me to make and prepare reasonably healthy food out of not much.  We are fortunate that Jamie is a hunter and more or less a successful one at that. We are fortunate enough to have the space, time and know how to have a vege garden (although it definitely could be better).  And most importantly we are very blessed to have a God that has our back and uses people to bless us from time to time.

Most people in the 'have not' department do not posses those skills etc, making the fact that they have a very limited income harder. They were not passed on the skills to bake and make good meals out of scratch, to garden or to hunt or even the ability to seek out information that will set them up with those said skills.  I am not sure why this is. Perhaps its because they are a generation that was brought up with an "out-of-the-home" working mother.  I have nothing against working Mothers at all, my own Mother was a working Mother and had to work but she was still able to pass on the skills she knew to my sisters and I. Thanks Mum. Perhaps it is the fact that we don't NEED to do those things anymore, cheap food is readily available more or less 24/7 and the choice is phenomenal. Who would of thought that you could have a whole aisle full of different breakfast cereals?!  Perhaps it is the fact that people are just too busy!!  A modern day epidemic.  I thought these skills were taught in school, I know they certainly were when I went through school.  How effective are they? Teaching kids how to cook a gourmet meal using breast of chicken is pointless if  all they are going to afford is a packet of mince.  So if people aren't being taught these skills at home or any decent skills at school then where are they suppose to learn? Hippocrates said "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food", something I whole-heartedly agree with.  So if this is the case then what is in the trolley of the 'have nots' isn't helping our nations health or their waist lines at all. I can't see how a packet of savaloys is going to be curing anything anytime soon.

In the past few years there has been a surge of magazines, TV shows and recipe books of the "getting back to basics" genre. And yes the interest sparked by wanna-be hottest home bakers and hidden domestic goddesses has been great.  What I find though is that the recipes or the dishes or new way of eating are trendy and expensive and are they doable for the 'Joe-average' person. I don't think so.  When a recipe calls for lemon grass and Bulgar wheat or coconut oil and cacao powder  it immediately becomes out of reach for many people, especially when they have a power bill that's due in two days time with no way or paying it.  I can see the thinking behind when they are buying fish and chips at the local takeaway or a packet of cheap choc biscuits.

I don't know what the answer is. I have plenty of ideas but whether or not they are feasible is another story.  I know that the 'have nots' can have a whole passel of issues that go side by side with not eating healthy or being overweight. I recognize that. From family dynamics, health problems, housing problems, unemployment, to mental health illnesses and problems with drugs and alcohol.  That is why the solution isn't a simple one nor will it ever be a quickly fixed one.  But one thing that I do know, is that people need people, people need people that care enough to help them, to teach them, to walk along side them and their journey.  We are a far too "independent-from-each-other" society of people though.

What are your thoughts??

Disclaimer: The above is entirely my own thoughts and opinions and observations from my own everyday living, by talking to people and my own experiences.  They are not based on statistics or any specific scientific data. I take no responsibility for any actions of the reader.

More Living, Living more.

I wasn't sure what to name this post. Actually I am never sure what to name posts - its a very important thing.  You can decide whether or not you are going to spend your valuable time reading a book, blog or article based on the title.  I have been guilty as we all probably have, of scrolling past titles thinking ugh BORING, or that-doesn't-sound-like-me-at-all. I wonder how often though we miss out on something really special when we do that???  Just thoughts.

A few years back when I was writing for a regional bimonthly Home Birth magazine I wrote an article about the decision to turn off the TV and go (as much as possible) TV free.  At the time it was the best decision we ever made.  That was the year before we made the decision to home school.  The difference in our children was amazing and remarkable.  I do still hold the opinion that not too much can come out of TV watching even though we aren't essentially a TV free household anymore.  The kids don't watch nearly as much TV as they have done in the past but they still love a good movie watching session and do watch some TV in the early hours of the morning as I refuse to get up as early as they do.

TV is a time waster or should I say a time robber, it robs us of time, a lot of time before we even know it.  The invention of MySky (TiVO?) has probably contributed to more time watching TV as it enables us to record multiple programmes to watch at a later date.   Later???  that time later has to come from somewhere.

We took the Xbox and the computer away a few months back after battle after battle with the amount of time wasted on said machines.  It wasn't necessarily the amount of time that each child was playing on them, it was the time wasted by watching someone else playing them too.  Over time we noticed the increase in fights between the children and the stress levels while playing them.  I knew in my heart that these two things weren't good for our family but I didn't know how to stop it.  Whenever they didn't have them on the kids were bored and didn't know what to do with themselves which resulted in more fighting. And any parent will know that fighting between siblings has the potential to drive you insane.  It all came to a head one day and both were taken away for an indefinite amount of time. Do they miss them?  Yes they did, at first.  It was like I had pulled all their teeth out.  Our family during that time was hard work. But over time they have gotten use to it and now are quite happy without them.  Yes they still get the computer to use for school work since some of their work is via on line progammes.  The ability to play once again using their imagination is on the rise. They play outside more (even when its wet and cold). They ride their bikes more, play board games more, play in the sandpit more and climb trees more.  The fighting is slowly decreasing. Yes I am well aware that that may never disappear but one can live in hope.

My struggle was an internal one.  No parent wants to deprive their children from fun and things that make them happy. No parent purposely wants them to be missing out. But missing out on what?  Watching someone else play an onscreen game or build an imaginary village using blocks or running from digital zombies or ninja assassins.  I can almost hear people saying "Won't they be left behind?" or "Its the way of the future!" or "They are allowed a little fun" or "Its their down time, they need time to relax". I hear you. I do and I have said those things too.  I have read countless research both for and against gaming and screen time and I have to admit that the 'for' research is pretty darn convincing and made me feel better for a time about having it available for them.  In reality those things weren't and aren't good for our family.  One of my boys in particular can be quite obsessive about the Xbox and computer and the more he had screen time the more difficult his behavior became.

Jaydens 10th Birthday was an Xbox party! 

 Two big screens, eight players (four against four)

It was fun and he had a ball!!

Please excuse the quality of the photo.

Just so you know the amount of screen time they had wasn't excessive in my opinion by any means. The Xbox use to come out only on Sunday afternoons and they were allowed an hour on the computer whenever they were on packing and unpacking the dishwasher for the day (that's once every five days!).  But slowly over time (so slowly in fact that it went unnoticed) it became more frequent and the "special occasions" for the Xbox seemed to be coming around more and more. The kids had started (very cleverly too I might add) bartering for screen time too.  They would offer to do such and such a job if they could have half an hour, an hour on the Xbox.  At first we thought sweet we can have a tidy house or the car washed or the bathroom cleaned all for an hour of screen time.  Perhaps we felt a little guilty as we haven't been able to pay them pocket money for a good two and half years now that this could be payment of sorts.  After a while (and I am almost embarrassed to admit this) but the idea started turning on us and often we would ask them to do a job and they would immediately say "Can I have a turn on the Xbox then?"  That is not good parenting at all. The other negative thing as we found that every conversation they had among themselves or with other people was revolving around gaming, about what they had built or an epic battle, and quotes and words they came out with was from games they have played. It wasn't good at all. Really going cold turkey was the best and the only way, there was no possible way we could wean it off them gradually.  So cold turkey it was. Oh boy was that hard.  Even now I have to admit I miss it at times as it was a sure fire way to keep them quiet and entertained for a while, especially on a rainy day.  Will they make a comeback?  I am not sure, that is yet to be decided.  Its coming into winter soon and winter here is pretty damp and cold.

In saying all this, I too felt the conviction to cut down on screen time especially while the kids are around and seeing  me.  I feel like a hypocrite if I ban it from them and yet sit looking at a screen for one reason or another.  Solution; do the majority of my writing at night after they are in bed or get up extra early and write then (that one isn't going to happen in a hurry).  I don't want my children to grow up remembering the shape of the back of my head or me answering them '"I'm busy" while they know very well that I am not.  Its a hard habit to break. There is more living to do for everyone outside and away from screens. I want to live more, Don't you?   God has been challenging me on clearing out stuff that robs me of my time and my peace and while screen time was the first to go there is plenty more things to get rid of and clear out.  It feels good to have started. I'll keep you informed about my progress. (or un-progress)  I am determined to be ruthless!!! (but I may need a hand)

What do you need to get rid of in your life?

Just Across the Road

Its maize season around these parts which makes for free entertainment for little people, especially little people that love cool big trucks and monster like tractors. I have to admit even I find them pretty fascinating. I wonder what it would be like to be at the controls of such a powerful beast?? I am such lady, aren't I?

We were fortunate to be just across the road from this paddock, although I am not sure if the people whose washing was on the line when the dust was stirred up were thinking that exact same thing.

Little boys in gumboots are just adorable!!

Can't say the same thing for the shoes that I am sporting though.

I love Maize harvesting season. I am not entirely sure why that is but I find it somewhat comforting seeing and hearing the big trucks, tractors and combine harvesters driving our roads and paddocks nearly twenty-four hours a day.

 I probably wouldn't feel that if they were out my bedroom window at two in the morning.

We are in desperate need of rain. Farms are looking bare, brown and very sad.  It is hard to imagine that in a few short months though they will be long, lush, green and delicious looking.

 (if you were a cow of course).

                               

 I love finding simple experiences that aren't too far from home that the kids can observe and do.  Simple everyday experiences.  I don't ever want to be too busy or too overwhelmed with life that I might miss such a simple everyday but intriguing activity.  I don't ever want to be too preoccupied with the to-do list that I don't walk my kids across the road and watch the harvester harvest.  I don't ever want to not notice again.  My kids were taken with the gigantic machinery and spent a good while just watching them go about their business, waiting for them to come back around and waving at the drivers through the dust cloud.  

Simple. 

Whats been happening in your neighborhood?