Documenting December Day 1 - Here We Are Again

So its official today is a milestone...I have been blogging everyday for an entire year. Yes I started this journey Documenting my December and haven't stopped since.  It is my goal to blog everyday for an entire year and now I have done it BUT rest assured I will not leave you hanging I will continue everyday until the end of the calendar year...because that would make it nice and tidy wouldn't it plus apparently their are some of you who enjoy reading what me and my crazy family are up to.  I will revisit the frequency of my blogs in the new year as it has been a bit of a mission at times to get one out every single day not to mention thinking of what to write about some days.

Advent starts today...and while I had romantic ideas of what that would look like for us this year...none of them came to fruition BUT we have remain in true tradition for at least a little bit.  The kids all receive their Christmas Advent Calendars today. Yes even the big kids.....well it just wouldn't be Christmas would it.

Next year I am determine to be in a better place and more organised.  Have you started a tradition yet?
Do you have advent calendars?

November's Notes Day 30 - Planning

Hands up who else has a planner for next year!?  I have three or four things already marked in my diary for next year...I don't know whether to laugh or cry.  Part of me want to let 2016 run its course and finish. The other part of me wants 2017 to hurry up and arrive. Its 50/50 at the moment and what won will win out depends entirely on how I am feeling at the moment.

What about you? How has 2016 been for you?  I said at a recent event that I was sharing at that if I thought 2015 was bad well 2016 was a whole other ball game.  2016 has not been terribly kind to me.

But here we are barreling towards the end of it and I will be holding my breath to see where and what 2017 will bring us.

Have you got plans in your diary already for the up and coming year?  How are you feeling about 2017? Exciting? or just Meh?

November's Notes Day 29 - Gearing Up for Christmas

Searching through some photos for inspiration of what to write tonight and I found this. I think it was sent to me from a friend in Germany.....doesn't ooze Christmas-ness.  Its only two days until the beginning of December which is usually the beginning of our advent family activities.  I best be getting the kids some of those advent Christmas Calendars....any excuse for chocolate in the morning ah?

We are trucking along with Christmas shopping and feeling a little more organised in that sense than we usually are.  So I am very pleased about that. The kids have done the draw to see who is buying for who already and have been given strict instructions to get their thinking caps on.

I spent some time down at Loving Arms HQ today...sorting and putting away stock and clothes and having a clean out. Its getting a pretty tight fit in there even though we have help out four mums this week and I was able to move on a couple of the bigger items today.  Just a few more boxes of clothes to put away and larger items to find a spot for.   Anyone want a highchair??  Change table??  Please....

November's Notes Day 28 - Flashback

I came across this today. Don't we look so young? We were 21 in this picture and engaged to be married. I laugh at myself having blonde hair, not at all my natural colour but obviously at the time I thought it looked good.  A lot can happen in 18 years....like married for nearly 17 years and 7 kids!

We were attending my graduation ceremony of my Bachelors Degree in Nursing. Even the fact that once upon a time I was a nurse seems so bizarre.....like it was a lifetime ago.   I spent just over two years working as a nurse first in Burns and Plastics and then in Cardiac Care.  So even though the time I in paid employment wasn't even as long as I spent in study...I don't for a moment believe that my degree has been wasted. I have used my knowledge and experience as a nurse in so many aspects of my life. From bringing up my own children to being the go-to-person for many people who would ring me for an opinion or stop me and ask me about something.

My nursing taught me how to question, how to decipher and most of all has taught me the ins and outs of how the medical system works. This knowledge is so valuable to me now seeing I am part of a taskforce that is set to improve the maternity care for the women in our region.  As frustrating as I am finding the process and where the service is...I am loving that I am helping to make a difference in women's lives...even if it is only indirectly.

God NEVER wastes anything or any part of ones life.....if you let Him He will use everything in some way for good.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

November's Notes Day 27 - Where is Summer?

Can I just say that I am sick of this weather?!  Can I just say that? Seriously its suppose to be summer in three or so days and.....well its not displaying any kind of summer tendencies. I am simply not happy!

In the Hawkes Bay where its sunny ALOT...you got a decent summer...probably almost too summery. We are talking drought prone weather... good for wine...not so good for the water table or any other kind of farming.  Summers were long and hot and dry. They start in late October and end around the end of March. Not here...summer is SLOW in coming. October is always a terribly windy month, followed by November which is very average spring-like. December well ...I am waiting for summer to kick into gear.

Man I sound so old moaning about the weather don't I?  But the weather does not do anything for the mood of people nor anything for my kiddies.  Summer will look completely different for us....not that I want to keep going on about it but not having a pool literally outside our back door will be a challenge for the kids this summer.  I wonder if I can make something exciting out of the sprinkler for them? Frankie and Jesse will probably be ok with this but somehow I don't think the older kids will be satisfied with having to run through the sprinkler in the backyard.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to keep cool this summer...like actually cool and also my cool? Go!

PS this photo doesn't do the big black clouds any justice at all!

November's Notes Day 26 - Breaking Tradition

So if you have been reading for a while you will know that we aren't in a place where we can keep up with our normal traditions.  As frustrating as this is there is nothing we can do about it so we thought at least we could do something reasonably similar...lest we have to get a fake Christmas Tree. Which is a big NO NO according to my husband.

Today we decided that we would pay a visit to our favourite Christmas Tree farm and tag our Christmas tree for whenever we are in our own place.  We braved the big black clouds, the wind and the threatening rain and spent a considerable amount of time choosing the 'perfect' tree. For those who do this too will know that nature does not provide the 'perfect' tree but these are pretty close to it. After a few family arguments about whose tree was best we decided on one and Jamie dutifully tied our number around it and took our bearings so that in a few weeks we could find it.

I am trying to not to worry too much about when we will have the tree in our own house or the fact that right now I don't even know where all the Christmas tree decorations are.  They could be in one of four places.

How are you doing with your Christmas planning?  Are you catching some Christmas spirit? Real or fake?

November's Notes Day 25 - Hello Little Man

So there we have it...bye bye my gorgeous wee baby...hello handsome little man. He is stoked with his new haircut and tells me he now looks like 'Daddy'.  Wow I just can't stop looking at him....he looks so different. So grown up.....I suppose he is going to be 4 very very soon.

I sent him off with his Dad and his older brothers for a 'boys' haircut time.  I think he would of liked being including in that.  I took one long last look at him as I buckled him into his car seat...I am pretty sure he thinks I was loopy because I kept staring at him and touching his hair...hoping to embed the memory of his beautiful hair into my brain.

So now we have a little man in the family and while I will miss his hair I am stoked that he loves it and that he looks so handsome too.

I officially started my Christmas shopping today...wahoo! Go me. Perhaps I might get Christmassy after all and to top it all off tonight I am out for a Christmas Dessert evening and judging by the few pictures I have seen of desserts being made for tonight, I will NOT need to eat dinner and should wear extra stretchy pants to accommodate all that yumminess.

November's Notes Day 24 - Battle Weary

I am feeling quite shattered today, shattered and discouraged. Battle weary.  I feel I need lessons on how to leave things at the 'office' and not continue on thinking about things long after they have been discussed. I had a meeting today and it wasn't pretty. Not at all. I knew that it may have been a little heated but I feel like I have been run over by a bus.

I don't feel like we are making any kind of difference or progress at all. Everything takes soooo long. And changing culture apparently takes even longer.  I am not impressed.

So needless to say I was pleased to get home today, to the safety and cosy-ness of my family.  I may or may not have even bought myself a treat on the way home.

This guy...goes away with friends this weekend....I am sure he will have a good time. The rest of them....well we'll be ferrying some of them around to birthday parties and I have my first Christmas/ End of year celebration tomorrow night...how did that happen?

November's Notes Day 23 - Bye Bye Hair

*Sad Face* This handsome man has decided that he wants his haircut. Eek. This mama doesn't want to cut his hair but I have always said that I'll leave it to grow until he asks for it to be cut. So now that he has asked...I guess we are getting it cut. Hair cut is booked for Friday 10am. He is going to look so so different, so grown up.  I have thoroughly enjoyed having his curly locks grow down his back. But I think lately his hair has been annoying him and he has been getting really hot especially at night.

I have asked him numerous times if he still wants to get it cut and I have tied it up so he knows what he might look like and yes...he still wants it cut. Well OK then...I guess I'll have to get used to it.

This journey with his hair has always been about respect. Just like ones body I believe that children should have say over what happens to them, how they want their hair and the clothes they wear. I don't believe they should be made to kiss or hug anyone hello or goodbye, I cringe inside when I see people pick up kids and hug them when they don't know them and you can clearly see that the child feels uncomfortable and struggles to get away.

For too long this has been the norm in our society, the norm where children are seen as lesser than adults. Now I think the tide is turning and more and more people are becoming aware of children's rights, human rights really.

So come Friday this little man will look completely different and I will have to be OK with that...eventually.

November's Notes Day 22 - Grateful

I opened this remarkable packaged today. It came all the way from the Netherlands. Isn't that amazing? A group of crafty ladies decided to knit and crochets, warm hats and beautiful toys for the babies that we help through Loving Arms.  I find that quite remarkable.  The need to help, the need to give can surpass obstacles such as distance and oceans if you really want to.  I truly believe that its in us...that need to do good, to help those less fortunate or situations that stirs our heart.  Sometimes people just don't know where to start or even where to look or perhaps they don't think that they could possibly make a difference. But I encourage and urge....you can. Just do it. Start somewhere. Do something. You don't have to be special just passionate.

I haven't been feeling the greatest in myself lately...this part of our journey as a family....has been LONG and I am struggling to find the purpose in it. Don't get me wrong am extremely extremely grateful for where we are and for our friends that have so graciously opened up their home to us. So thankful. I mean anyone who will welcome 9 people into their space deserves a medal of their own don't you think?

At least we are enjoying some sunny weather for a change...that makes things a little better. How are things in your neck of the woods?

November's Notes Day 21 - Faces

A little quirk of mine and I know that I am not the only one that does this. I make faces or figures or animals out of everyday objects or patterns that I see around the place.  It sounds weird I know but I assure you from time to time this comes out in a conversation and I find that I am not the only one who does this.  

Ever since I was a little girl I have been making shapes and seeing figures in the cork floor of my parents bathroom, in the curtain pattern in the bedroom of a past house or the knots in the wood of the ceiling in the house we are currently living in.

If you have even lay on your back and made shapes out of the clouds in the sky then you will have some idea of what I am talking about...its just a little more extreme. Faces are very easy to see in cars if you want to have a try at this....The old Ford Falcons look like Great White Sharks and Chryslers look like Bulldogs and there is one but for the life of me I can't remember what its called but it looks like an Axolotl. 

Anyway I thought I would take a photo of a face today and share it with you, This is a 'face' that I have been seeing every day since we have been living here.  Can  you see it too?  Now tell me how many do you see tomorrow?

November's Notes Day 20 - Him and I

I think we may have started a new tradition...him and I. Him of course being Jamie my hot preacher hubby.  For the past few Sundays we have been able to sneak out for a sneaky lunch/coffee date just the two of us. Sneaky because sometimes we actually have to sneak out from under the kids noses because of course they just want to come with us.

Today we went out for a light lunch for a chance to connect, reflect over the past week and weekend and nut out the goings on in the up-coming week and perhaps even chat about future dreams we may have. Today we talked a lot about Christmas and what that might look like for us. I have been a little homesick over the past little while, not all the time but certainly from time to time.  I didn't know what was wrong with me until I worked out that perhaps I was homesick and then it suddenly dawned on me that I don't actually have a home to be homesick for. Well that wasn't a pretty moment at all.

We are coming up to a very full part of the year and in a couple of weeks time we have a couple of more birthdays to celebrate too....the last ones for the year. Add a Christmas Parade, Christmas parties, among other things and you have a very full, fun but very full month or so.

So we figure its pretty important to be making space to connect with just the two of us because its pretty important for us to be on the same page as each other in order for the next few weeks to be able to run smoothly

Doesn't lunch look delicious!!

November's Notes Day 19 - Back Down to Earth

Just in case I got even the slightest little of big head after the last couple of days...my today would deflated any of that kind of business and would of brought me back down to earth if indeed I had my head in the clouds. Today couldn't of been normal even if it tried.  The funny thing about being labelled 'amazing' or 'super women' is that I am so not.  Today consisted of buying cat biscuits, scoring a super amazing bargain on chocolate yogurt and washing floors.  I don't think superwomen would of done any of that.  I also changed dirty nappies, wiped snotty faces, negotiated screen time, plastered bleeding toes and chased a certain two year old up the driveway lest a policewoman had to bring her back again. Yes that did actually happen.

Children keep you real. They keep you humbled and they keep you from ever thinking you might have the parenting thing sussed out. I don't and I don't think I ever will. Children I think have an uncanny ability to know when you think it might be safe to be on cruise mode....like a radar.....then they launch out surprise attacks from out of nowhere....all to keep you from getting a big head.

I do not have a big head...in fact...I am not anymore amazing than the next person. Crazier perhaps but not amazing.

That is all today...plus I have no photo of anybody with a big head...so I'll bless you with a pic of the cat biscuits that I bought today.  Aren't you lucky.

November's Notes Day 18 - Humbled

Last night was so much fun. Especially once I had got through the official part of the evening.  But then again...it was really a privilege to see and hear all the other award recipients and learn what they had been doing for their communities and the milestones they had achieved. It was definitely humbling to be in a room full of amazing people doing amazing things all because they see a need and because they have passion.

Fortunately I didn't have to go first because that would of been VERY awkward as I was totally unaware that I had to make a speech. If I had gone first well AWKWARD! So very fortunately for me I was a little way done the line up so I had time to formulate something to say in my head before I received the award.  It was really interested to hear a some of what whoever nominated me had written because I had completely no idea.  I was very blessed so have so many of my family and friends along to help support me....because I truly was very nervous.

We continued on celebrating well into the evening with a yummy dinner out complete with an obscene amount of noise and laughter. They say that laughter is good for the soul and oh boy it is.

November's Notes Day 17 - On Celebrating

I thought that I would get in early and blog now before everything gets busy crazy and I don't really want to have to do it tonight when I get home.  So as awkward as I feel about it all and incredibly nervous I am off to receive an award, a Local Hero Award for my work in the community through Loving Arms.

I am blessed to be able to have my family and friends to be coming with me, hopefully to hold my hand and maybe clap or two.

I am not comfortable being in this kind of centre of attention. I have no problem with being in the centre of attention and speaking in front of people...if its on my terms and I have control over it. You know like presenting a concept, sharing a message or MCing an evening. But when its this kind of attention I want to hide. But there will be no hiding tonight.

Please don't get me wrong I am incredibly grateful and EXTREMELY humbled by the nomination and being selected. I just hope everyone knows that its just not about me...that many people have come together, supported, donated, encouraged and volunteered their time in order for Loving Arms to have accomplished what it has.

What I am looking forward to is getting a little dressed up and playing adult with some of my family and friends and enjoying their company for the night.  We are going to have some fun! Hopefully I'll get a nice photo like this one out of it and I can post it tomorrow.

November's Notes Day 16 - 39 Days

My loving son announced this morning that it was 40 sleeps until Christmas. I promptly told him to shut up and go outside. How did that even happen? I am not in anyway shape or form prepared even just a little bit for Christmas this year. I am hoping that I will find some Christmas spirit soon or the family is in trouble.

Then when I popped into visit with a friend today she informed me that is actually 39 sleeps not 40!
Last year I swore I was going to be more organised and onto it with my Christmas prep. I was going to even start in September. Clearly I had no idea that we were going to be without a home to get all Christmassy in.  Its our family tradition to all go out and pick our Christmas tree on the 1st Dec. That won't be happening this year. I am not sure when that will happen yet. I did dare to breathe a mention of having a fake one this year but was quickly shot down in flames for even thinking of it.

The kids have been asking me about our Christmas advent and whether or not we are going to have one this year. See if I started in September I would of been on to it and have it all organised. So I guess over the next few week until December I will have to put some serious effort into Christmas planning and finding me some Christmas spirit. Perhaps I'll watch a Christmas movie or two.

How are you doing with Christmas planning this year?

Ps Pic is not of any tree of ours but one I pinch off the internet.

November's Notes Day 15 - This Guy

I have been spending a fair bit of one on one time with this guy lately.  Not going anywhere or doing anything exciting but just him and I.   He finally got his braces on last week and today he had some baby teeth out. He handled it like a pro...me on the other hand...well I was terrible. Nervous, I couldn't watch and felt a little sick when she was explaining all the things that could go wrong. Strange that I felt like that seeing once upon a time I was a nurse AND even did a wee stint in Maxilla-facial surgery as a theatre nurse. I hate teeth especially wiggly ones. Ewww. But like I said he handled it like a pro. Puffy numb face and all.

Jamie should be home tomorrow or Thursday morning at the latest.  It has been wet and crazy windy here and I think they are getting drenched down where they have gone hunting.  They haven't had any luck yet...maybe tomorrow if the rain lets up. I am very much looking forward to him coming home.

Only two more sleeps until my mum comes up and I get to hang out and celebrate with family and friends.

Short post tonight...my feet are cold and I need to go to bed. xx

November's Notes Day 14 - Strange Day

Wow just wow! What a day!  Has anyone else just had the weirdest day ever? I have. Even now as I think back to everything that has happened today I am just amazed I made it until bedtime without crying. Weird and Crazy.

I suppose any day that starts with a major earthquake is never going to be normal is it? I was awake for it and lay there wondering what on earth Frankie was doing to cause the bed to rock so violently. It wasn't until I got out of bed and felt the ground roll beneath my feet that I figured out it was a earthquake. I made my way around the house to check on all the kids. All but one slept through the doors creaking backwards and forwards, the neighbors pool sloshing around and the dogs going crazy.  Having grown up in the Hawkes Bay where earthquakes are not uncommon I wasn't too alarmed but it did cross my mind to wonder at what point should I wake the kids to take cover if needed.

I couldn't sleep after that, I lay there wondering if we would feel another, if Jamie and his brother were ok (they are out of cell phone coverage) and if my family down country closer to the epicentre were ok.  I finally fell asleep a wee while after until my Mum rang to tell me that they down there had been evacuated to a civil defence post at 3 o'clock in the morning due to a Tsunami warning. So of course I couldn't sleep after that and spent a lot of time on and off social media and live news updates. They were allowed back to there house early this morning after the warning had been lifted.

The kids were very much out of sorts today. Frankie true to form fell asleep almost on top of the vacuum cleaner.  Only two more nights (hopefully) until Jamie gets back. Its a little unnerving not to have him here at the time.

November's Notes Day 13 - Its Going to be a Good Week

If I look tired in this photo its because I am. TIRED. Yep capital letters tired. Miss Frankie Pants hasn't been her usual happy self today...and it all started when her siblings left for church walking without her. She was not happy and sobbed for a good 45 mins and really hasn't stopped all day. On and off....I did however manage to get two sleeps out of her today so bonus. During her second sleep Jamie and I managed to sneak out for a wee coffee date...a perfect thing to do on a Sunday afternoon don't you think?

Jamie left this evening with his brother for a three or four day hunt. Super grateful that I have an extra two sets of adult hands to help me out if I need it. One of the perks of communal living.   I can definitely see the benefits of living in a close community/same house as we are currently doing with our very gracious friends.  I have really enjoyed watching the kids form meaningful relationships with other adults and other 'siblings'.  I especially love when our friend arrives home from work in his monster truck and he gets to the gate and Frankie and Jesse run out and climb up on to his knee and "drive" the monster truck the rest of the way up the driveway.  Its the highlight of their afternoon.

I have a reasonably busy week coming up with a couple of awesome things to look forward to this weekend.  One is the beginning of a new venture for Loving Arms and another is an awards evening I get to attend with my family and great friends....that is just destined to be FUN. Looking forward to my Mum coming up especially for it.

Its going to be a good week.....I just need some sleep!

November's Notes Day 12 - What an Honor

This photo doesn't do the product shown here justice. It was massive. What a blessing!  Today I have the honor of being invited to speak and share my heart at the baby shower of a beautiful mum-to-be. Pregnant with her third baby due in January she celebrated with a traditional baby shower but with a not-so traditional twist.

Instead of the guests bring her gifts she asked them to bring gifts for Loving Arms. And that is exactly what they all did......and they filled a blow up paddling pool to the brim with gorgeous presents.... nappies, wipes, breast pads, maternity pads, wraps, clothes with a big focus on premature baby clothes, toiletries for babies and for mums, gifts to treat mum, as well as substantial monetary donations.  In addition to that I was invited to speak to the guests, to share my heart and the vision of Loving Arms.

Isn't that such a cool idea...no matter what the charity is... it's a fantastic way of celebrating an occasion and support something bigger than yourself. I thought that I would be a little nervous but I didn't. I felt so welcomed and so honored and everyone was really enthusiastic and encouraging.  I stayed for afternoon tea and played the traditional baby shower games as well so I was able to connect with some of the mums that had so generously gifted to us.

I love that beautiful people can think outside the box and look for ways to help out in any way they can.  I finished off my time by encouraging them all that they too can make a difference, that they are strong and they can be brave.  That if they have a burning passion to see change or to help in some way....to just  do it. Take a step. Just start.

November's Notes Day 11 - Shopping

I went shopping today. Like on purpose shopping for me. Maybe most of you will know that when you become a mum you don't normally just go out shopping just solely for you. It's only been in the last few years that I have even remotely enjoyed shopping for clothes......and even now there are still some days that I am not feeling it. Today was one of those days. Where is one's bestie when you need her????!!!

I looked in every single shop in town here excluding one extremely over price shop that sells designer labels made for women who have not had seven children and breast fed for ten years.   Do you think I could find anything?...No of course not. I tried on a mere three dresses all of which were black, one was too big and two clung to all the wrong places. Needless to say I came home defeated, grumpy and not in love with this post children/breast feeding body at all.  Yes yes I know at least someone is going to remind me about how amazing my body is and that I should make nice with the bits I don't like. Well today I am not feeling that either. I am just frustrated and blah.

Because my excursion into town was not fruitful I went and pulled three dresses out of the clothes I had in storage and brought home to try on. I need it to be dressy, feel comfortable in, look nice, not make me look to old or make me feel like mutton dressed up as lamb. Maybe I'll try them on tomorrow because today wasn't a good day for clothes and I. We are not friends today.

Oh but I have shoes though!!!

Ps no photo today because I didn't find anything to buy. I'll let you know what I choose.

November's Notes Day 10 - Wearable Arts

Thought I would take the kids out tonight and support one of our living buddies Wearable Arts evening at her school. The talent is amazing and has given my girls loads of inspiration to create their own. So much so they are asking for more art stuff for Christmas.

At least I now have some ideas for presents now. I'll post a photo tomorrow morning seeing as I am blogging on the go from my phone.

I often wonder when we come to things like this whether or not the kids would ask to go to school. They never do. It seems they just inspiration to do their own take on the event at home. So maybe I'll be purchasing chicken wire, rubber mats and air ducting for Christmas presents as well.

Short post tonight....til tomorrow xx

November's Notes Day 9 - How Did I Get Here?

Some days I just have to stop, catch my breath and I look around at where I am and ask "How on earth did I get here?" I turn and I look backwards over my life to where I havecome from, what I have experienced and the events and open doors that have led me to this very place that I find myself standing today. People God is truly truly molding you, shaping you and will use every single experience, moment, strength, weakness and situation for good. If you will let him. But sometimes you have to be brave and step forward into something that will cause you to ask yourself "How did I get here?"

Today I found myself in a room filled with 40 - 50 other people, other leaders and representatives from various pockets of people groups. I was there as a representative of mothers and of all women. Of which I might add one of only two representing that group. I was a little disappointed about that. Anyway this opportunity enabled me to meet and connect with a number of people who I would not normally have anything to do with. DHB board members, women working with the refugees, managers of child health,.....I could go on.

So I looked around and marveled at how me....a wife, mother of seven, ex-nurse and someone deeply deeply passionate about excellent maternity care, informed choice and informed consent, respect, being a voice and advocate for the community's most vulnerable and those in need. Deeply passionate.

So while I am amazed I am so thankful for the opportunities that come before me...for the roles that I already hold. Thankful for my God, for those who mentor me and those that inspire me from a distance.

What a crazy ride!

November's Notes Day 8 - Just Keep Swimming

This sums up where we are perfectly. Blank pages. It's certainly not been easy but its not bad either. I mean journeys can be fun can't they. Some might say that it is all in the way you choose to look at a situation.  But lately I have been thinking that basically you have two choices when it comes to how you handle a given situation or problem. You can either choose to handle it badly or handle it well. Whatever you choose you are still going to have to walk through and deal with the problem or issue in front of you.

I have a whole lot of blank spaces in front of me at the moment. For a time there...blank spaces scared the pants off me. But now, being this far along in our journey they have become part of our lives. Spaces or pockets of the unknown, uncharted territory. I am choosing to try my very best to handle it well. I am choosing to learn in the situation. I am choosing to talk with my God about everything and anything. I am choosing to seek Him. Is this easy to do? No not at all. It's a purposeful action and an aligning of Gods Word and His Promises for me.

So even though while we are in this space of our journey....I am choosing to greet this blank space with courage.

"Instead, let the Spirit [Holy] renew your thoughts and attitudes" - Ephesians 4.23

November's Notes Day 7 - Lioness Arising

OMGoodness! You just have to read this book! Seriously it is so good...even though I am only a little way into it I am in love with it already. Love love love! I feel like she has written it just for me and about me. Maybe you would feel like that too.

For far too long I have wrestled internally with the idea of Christian women being weak and quiet, only allowed to serve the church creche, Sunday school and kitchen duty or perhaps the worship team if you were gifted in that area. Please hear me there is absolutely nothing wrong with that of course...not at all, especially if that is where you are called and where your heart is. But couple this with the idea of being weak, meek and mild mannered, submissive...without a voice....without a strong and audible voice and purpose to make any kind of mark, in the world.  Do you get the picture I am trying to paint. This is just simply not me!

I think I have long been a bit of a feminist which is why I struggled for so long. And felt desperately guilty for it. A secret hidden guilt.  Obviously under misguided teaching from the pulpit but now oh boy....I feel so free, so empowered, so fierce. And thats OK...this is how God has created me and now I need to continue to feel empowered to step purposely into what God has called me to do. 

For now it will be said of Jacob, 

"What wonders God has done for Israel!"

These people rise up like a lioness, 

like a majestic lion rousing itself.

They refuse to rest until they have feasted on prey.... - Numbers 23:23-24

Oooo that just gives me goose bumps just reading it. The frustrating thing for me is that I am unable to read it fast enough....I am in a busy period of life at the moment so finding time is proving to be a little difficult.  But watch this space I might do a reflective piece when I have finished it. Now I am off to read some more....

November's Notes Day 6 - Doing my Thing

So this is my view..... often. I am especially loving my new coffee mug. It has to be coffee not tea too. Not sure why but drinking tea from it just isn't the same. Nope I drink my tea from something a little more lady-like and girlie.  Makes more sense don't you think?

I am always surprised at how much time behind the scenes....infrastructure type things take for Loving Arms.  I now can understand why businesses and the like have people solely focused on social media, networking and emailing. Its really quite time consuming but also very important. Yes it sounds cliche but this is how things work these days.  I am not specifically trained or good at it and totally learning as I go about how to make posts and entries more appealing and catchy to the eye.  Unfortunately its all about the clicks, the likes, the comments and the shares. I pick up tidbits of 'how to' from other people or by looking at other people posts.  I laugh because I often tell the kids...unschooling never ends...you are still learning every single day.

I try to limit my 'screen time' while the kids are around because I am forever putting in place and enforcing boundaries about their screen time that I feel like a bit of a hypocrite sitting there looking at a screen myself. So most of it is done when the kids are in bed, out or Jamie is around to entertain them.  

I often look back and am so amazed at how far Loving Arms has come. So amazed. So thankful. And I am very excited to see where its going. God's got this!!

November's Notes Day 5 - Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to this princess!  Our baby girl. What a ride these past two years have been. I know people say 'time flies when you are having fun' all the time.....we must of been having a blast if that is the case. I am always feeling quite reflective among other things on the kids birthdays....I often find myself thinking about the day and the days leading up to them being born. Frankies journey into the world was just that a journey, a very long J-O-U-R-N-E-Y.  But look what we were blessed with.....a beautiful princess called Frankie Rose.

I love that she has been totally unaware that we as a family have been going through a huge transformation and challenging time in our lives...life for her has still been fun and games just in a different place.

We spent the day doing what we normally do on birthdays in our house. Although I did have to relight the candles about twenty-seven more times and she was blowing them out like a boss every single time.

She loved her presents....her new baby doll, new pretty pink dress (seen here) new pram, new stuffed elephant, new shoes among other things. We went for a number of walks up the road and made a number of drivers that drove past smile at the sight of a small girl playing grown up as she pushed her baby doll like a little mama-bear.

Frankie, she brings joy into our lives every single day. We love her to bits. Truly life would not be the same without her.  Our wee Frankie-pants! Happy Birthday xx

November;s Notes Day 4 - A Tiny Bit of Normal

I have been feeling a little fragile today. A little flat perhaps. As we find ourselves on the eve of a birthday, the first birthday or celebration of any kind since we moved out of our home of eight years.  I am feeling more than a little lost thinking about tomorrow....we have no normal. And today I am feeling sad about that.

As I flounder around regaining some kind of sense of control and stability.....we have made plans to try and recreate our birthday traditions for tomorrow. The cake is made, breakfast cereal and party food is brought, presents await to be wrapped, balloons ready to be blown up and crepe paper needing to be hung.  I am aware that Frankie has nothing to compare this birthday with as she won't remember her first birthday. As long as there is cake, candles and presents she will be happy.  We are very thankful to be co-habitating with good friends....no need for a party...its party mode almost 24/7 around here at the moment.

Tomorrow will be a good day. I can't believe she will be two tomorrow. My baby is two...perhaps that is also adding my fragile-ness today. But more about that tomorrow......

November's Notes Day 3 - Home For Now

We have been living with our extended 'family' (friends) for a while now and we are in a bit of a groove. Our friends kids are getting used to having little brothers and sisters greeting them when they get home from school and helping out with whatever they might be doing. It's certainly amazing and so lovely to see our little kiddies form meaningful relationships and feel comfortable with other trusted adults in our lives.

Last night the two little ones waited at the end of the long driveway for Daddy A to get home in his monster truck so they coy have a ride and help in drive it up the driveway. I love that that the kids feel at home here in a time where they could feel unsettled. This makes me happy.

November's Notes Day 2 - Me

So this was me today....SMILE! Actually it was more like pose, suck in the stomach and SMILE. Yes I had an interview today for the local paper. Eek! Sooooo not me at all but I put on my big girl pants on and just dealt with it.  In actual fact I don't know what I was worried about it was not at all as bad as I thought it would be. Just like a conversation with a friend where I got to talk about Loving Arms and a little bit about me.  She was a great reporter and was so laid back. Now I am looking forward to reading the article when it comes out in a day or two.

If you don't know already I have been totally humbled and so very blown away at being the recipient of a New Zealand Local Hero Award in our region for my work with Loving Arms. Yep I get a medal and everything. Again its soooo not me but I am very very thankful at the same time. So hence the newspaper interview.

Now I am gearing myself up for an awards ceremony evening along with the other medal recipients and with my family and friends.  Yay! Its going to be a great evening!

November's Notes Day 1 - Sacrifice

Sometimes when I start to blog I have no idea what I am even going to write about. I just simply start writing and see where I end up.  I often end up scrolling through my photos that I might have taken throughout the day and start from there. Much like today...the problem being tonight when searching through I discover I have only taken three photos and they are all of recipes that I took photos of from a magazine that I was reading in the waiting room of the Orthodontist.

I tried to be discrete about it but I don't think that I was very successful seeing everyone is quietly flicking through their own mags. I didn't think to turn my sound off did I.  Anyway check out the recipe...I wish I got more of the photo in but I had to choose between the actual recipe or the pretty picture. Its a recipe for a Pink Lady Cake. I have just got to try this.

Anyway we marked the day with the start of Jaydens journey of braces. Eek and double eek! I had braces and Jamie had braces so almost goes with out saying that at least one of our kids would be having braces. So he is the first...yes its big bikkies, very big bikkies .....but we have chosen to make this sacrifice for him and his health because for him its no longer just a cosmetic thing but a health issue.  He is very excited about it which is going to make the whole process easy...thankfully.