Ok tonight is the night. Tonight is the LAST FEED EVER. The last time that I feed Frankie and highly unlikely that I breast feed again. Wow! I am finding it difficult to really put into words how exactly I am feeling. But definitely sad is one feeling. I have always enjoyed breastfeeding and the closeness to my child that it brings. It is an intimate act and one filled with unconditional love. I will certainly miss it. Every time I have been pregnant I have always looked forward to being able to breastfeed again. The giving over of part of myself to nourish and nurture another.
I have breast fed for (if you add up all the months) ten years. Ten Years. That is nearly a quarter of my life. I think that is pretty impressive and certainly a good effort. A pat on the back for me I think.
I am not sure how Frankie will go tomorrow night. I have been feeding her just before bed for a few weeks in preparation. I know she enjoys this time as much as I do. Just me and her, together. Its been a special time. So come tomorrow Jamie might have to put her to bed which he has done plenty of times in the past and she has been fine. She will be fine just as I will be too.
The end of an era. I will no longer have to work out whether I can go to something in case I am not back in time to feed. I will no longer have to plan what I am going to wear for ease of access. Times are changing and I'll have to get used to it.
I am looking forward to going away in a few weeks with some fabulous women to a conference. I am looking forward to be able to hang out with my bestie for the weekend sometime soon. Silver-lining and all.
Please excuse the photo..not the most attractive pic of me but hey I was ready for bed!
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