Reflection

You know one should not read junk mail. Especially junk mail that is advertising luxury cruises to exotic destinations or high end real estate. Especially when one is feeling more than a little jaded, feeling reflective, sitting in the midst of crumbs and spilt soggy breakfast cereal  and eating peanut butter on cheap toasted bread and drinking tea that's gone cold . Seriously just don't. I promise you it will leave you feeling well....like " how the hell did I get here" or "yay, my life".   Junk mail like that is designed to make the reader (which was me this morning) feel less than grand, less than successful, less than.... well just less.  That's the point of it. They make you feel like life would be grand if you holidayed here and lived there instead of where you are right now...sitting drinking cold tea and trying not to plonk your elbows in soggy cereal.  So just don't do that to yourself.

Brand new.

Our baby turned one this past week and for me such a milestone ALWAYS makes me even more reflective than normal.  I spent time thinking about my pregnancy, her entrance into the world, the people that were around at the time, the baby-moon period, all her firsts throughout the year and mostly how she is very nearly not a baby anymore and that time is flying by all too fast.  I will admit, I am in mourning. Mourning for the time that has gone too fast, for my chubby wee baby girl who is coming to the end of her baby-hood and is on the brink of toddler-hood as she gingerly stands and walks with wobbly-ness but is oh so proud of herself.   I know some would be ecstatic about that, high-fiving everyone around them, over the moon to be out of that stage. I am not one of those people and that's ok. I am me.  I know I feel feelings very strongly that they physically hurt. I will miss her. But even though it hurts and is sad, it is good.   Its good that she is growing, exploring, learning whats in her world, touching nature and developing her own personality. So to wish that she would stop and to remain the same is wrong. I want the world for her, I want her to experience it, to learn in it and to grow in it.  That is my saving grace, my excitement. I will marvel at her as she does and I will be ok.

One year old

So during this time of reflecting I am here thinking about where we are right now, right at this moment, today. It is good. It is very good.  If you took a single snap shot of us right now could I even be bold enough to say that some may even envy us. Yes we don't have money, yes we are living in a rented 100 year old rambling farm house that is cold and draughty in winter, we don't have the latest and greatest of gadgets, the chainsaw doesn't work, some of us need shoes, our coffee cups are chipped, the floor boards are squeaky, the dishwasher leaks when it feels like it, the guttering has made their own down-pipes over the years, we have flies in summer, the carpet is wearing from having too much sun, and birds have houses and had babies in the roof.  But what we do have is outweighs all of that so many times over. We do have a house that we LOVE (warts and all), a beautiful section, a stunning view, seven beautiful children whom we get to walk through the various stages of their lives with, food in the cupboards, gorgeous, encouraging and supportive family and friends. Time to spend as a family as we seek "where to from here". My children have the luxury of time to experience their world at their own pace, exploring and investing into what ignites their passion for learning and life.  They have been given the gift of relationship with each other. I still marvel at the closeness and thoughtfulness of my older children with their baby brother or sisters. AND we have a God who truly loves us and truly cares, who we can call upon and he is there, wherever and whenever. We are living a truly blessed and privileged life.

View from our deck.

I think that is contentment, don't you? They feeling of living blessed and privileged right where you are right now.  Not worrying about tomorrow or wishing for yesteryear. Not wanting to hurry up your circumstances or your days as they do go by fast. Too fast.

I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.…Philippians:12-13 

Salad anyone? 

So my little girl is not really a baby anymore BUT she is growing up and growing up well. I can do this. I am thankful I have been with her nearly every single moment of her life. Like all the others she will slowly becoming more independent, that means I am doing my job and doing it well. Go me!

How are you feeling today? Whats one thing you are thankful for? 

What are you reflecting on? Where would you like to holiday to? 

Tell me.....