Groove-less

Have you ever had one of those days, (weeks, months or years) that you feel like you haven't quite got your groove on.  Yesterday was one of those days (if I am completely honest I have been having a few in the last little while)  You know almost in an instant soon after your feet hit the ground in the morning that  perhaps at some stage during the night, you lost your groove.  I spent the whole day trying to catch up with myself.  Breakfast was chaotic, morning clean up time was chaotic, school was chaotic and bitzy and on and on and on. It effected every part of my day.  You know its really bad when you are wondering around and around the house feeling bored, tired and apathetic!  I was really looking forward to the day being over and crawling into bed and sleeping into the next day with the hope that it will be hundred times better.

I think the kids pick up on me sending out 'groove-less' vibes.  They know - oh how they know!  And boy do they milk it for all its worth.  And all I want to do is scream "Do I look like I am in the mood for this!"  Actually I do think I said that a number of times yesterday and then I went and gave myself time out for it. In other words I went and lay on my bed in self imposed quiet time. I tried to give all 5 kids quiet time but very soon discovered that that was next to impossible - and that it was far easy for me to go to time-out.  Just me, the cat and a book, door closed, ahhhhh semi-peace (I say semi-peace because I could still hear them through the closed door)

Today was a better day.  School was better, I spent time with a friend and I got a lovely surprise box of chocolates and a beauitful card left on my side of the bed from my husband.   Tonight I actually wanted to cook tea and that can only come from having a better day.

Now don't get me wrong, which is always a fear of mine when I come out and say that I had a bad day or that I am struggling, that it will come across like I am complaining and not enjoying life, my children or where God has me at the moment.  I do and I am.  But like everyone else, one cannot have it all together all of the time.  We are allowed to be groove-less at times.  I could put it down to hormones or being 32 weeks pregnant, or any number of things but hey it could be just a groove-less day.  And I give YOU permission to feel groove-less from time to time and not feel bad about it!

Anyway check out some of these photos from over the past week!

Kaitlyn (5) had collected a bunch of feathers off the side of the road after one of our chickens get runover by a car.  She wanted to make an old fashion pen to write with.  As soon as I had made one I said to Jamie, "I just know I am going to have to make four more of these"  and what happened?  I had to make four more of them!  So five broken pens later and feather clipping around the place we had five 'old fashion' pens! 

 

The strawberries are in and looking great!  We have four of these strawberry patches and are looking forward to a good harvest of them!

 

 

 

My cat likes to hide in boxes!

Just about the right size, don't you think?

 

I love what children come up to do and create when you leave them to their own devices.  Too many times I have heard parents (myself including) interrupt  childrens play, creativeness and even them just being with statements, questions or at its worst trying to create teaching moments.  For example  when a child has lined up the chairs and is playing trains/buses and the parent (with all good intentions of course) come in and say "Oh look at you!  What are you playing?  Do you know how many chairs you have lined up?  What if I took two away, how many would you have then?"  You know what I don't think they really care, they were just playing!!

Kaitlyn quite often goes away and creates by herself and I have learnt not to interrupt (just like I don't like to be talked to while I am writing)

This was one of her creations.

 

Sophie (3) just being cute!

 

Thanks to her big brother Casey taking her training wheels off and her other big brother Jayden, Dad and Poppa Peter teaching her.  Kaitlyn can now ride her bike on two wheels!  It was just a day later and she was doing hill starts! Scary for her Mum (It pays not to watch too much)

 

No its not the planet Mars, it is my (then) 31 week pregnant stomach and its only going to get bigger.  As you can see my feet are long gone!  Those chocolates Jamie bought aren't going to help either.  I did have a normal photo taken of my pregnant self but...well...not really super confident about it. 

 

 

 

So thats about it, a week in pictures. 

 

How is your week going?

 

Paint and Rainbows

I don't know too many parents that don't have even a little hesitation when their children ask if they can paint.  I think even the best ones still have at least a small intake of breath and drop of the shoulders when painting is requested or suggested.

My kids love to paint.  Paint pictures. Pictures on paper, on stones, on faces, on blocks of wood..if it can be painted then they will have a go at it.

The thing with painting in my house is that if one wants to paint then everyone wants to paint and it turns into a huge exercise.  Next minute the table is lined with newspaper, the paints are out, glasses are half filled with water, brushes are lined up, sleeves rolled up and the smell of paint has permeates through the room.  All this can happen in minutes!

I think what keeps me on edge with paint, especially with the little ones, is that it gets over everything. Fingers, hair, faces and clothes!

And if its all over those things when it comes time to wash up it could end up on the walls, couch chairs and whatever else is on the way to the bathroom.

This is very scary!

 

 

I do however, love the creativeness of children's minds.  Unlike me, whenever I have a paint brush in my hand, my mind goes blank and I never know what to paint.  Clearly painting is not a gift of mine.  Children don't need to ask what to paint, they just choose a colour and a brush and away they go.  Oh how envious am I!!  I usually end up painting a rainbow every single time.  How original!

 



 

 

  

 Isn't this cool! 

Even if it is just the paint plate!

  

Speaking of rainbows.

This was outside our window just a few days ago.

A pity there wasn't a pot of gold at the end of it since it was almost in touching distance.

 

Maybe painting rainbows isn't so bad after all.

Happy Weekend to you. May you do something that is just simply...well ....fun!

 

All you need is a box!

 

Breathe

I don't know about you but sometimes I feel like I forget to breathe!  Does that sound weird?  At times I feel so overwhelmed about all the things I need to do think I need to do, BELIEVE I need to do, that at times I catch myself holding my breath!

Someone please tell me that I am not the only one.

I have a lot to cram into my day and somedays I feel like the only one in the world that has as much to do as I do. (although realistically I know I am not)  I get frustrated.  I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to miss the small things because most of the time they are the most beautiful, the most important AND its usually the stuff that teaches you the most....if you let it.  I don't want to miss out on these beautiful moments just because I am battling with the things that I THINK I NEED to be doing.  Who says these things anyway?

I have to remind myself that being a home schooling Mama is more or less the equilivant to having a outside-of-the-house job of some sort.  Working Mamas still have washing to hang, fold and put away, still have bathrooms to clean and floors to vacuum, as do I.   Having 'Number 6' on the way has got me looking for ways to streamline, normal everyday household jobs...like folding washing.  And if you know anything about me you already know that I HATE folding washing!!!

Like having a Family "Life Skills" Lesson in folding washing!

I just know that one day someone is going to thank me for this!

I have to keep myself in check and even though it is cliche I have to remind myself and if I forget to do that, Jamie will happily remind me

"Don't sweat the small stuff"

It really doesn't matter that the kids have breakfast cereal for dinner every now and then.

It really doesn't matter if I buy a packet of biscuits to take somewhere because I just can't (or don't want to) squeeze baking in to my day.

It really doesn't matter if the dishes remain unwashed overnight and the floors don't get vacuumed that day (or if I am totally honest - a few days)

 

Can I hear gasps of horror?

Everything always gets done eventually!

 

I think children have a lot to teach us. 

 How to make something beautiful out of nothing.

 

 

How to amuse oneself by creating and having fun out of simple things.

 

Take one box of firewood and two little girls imagination and determination...do you know how many times it fell down!

 

 





 But...dare I say this, while all this creating, building and imagining is going on...sometimes I just need some peace and tranquility.  Two things that are a little (a lot) hard to come by in my house.   But even now and then, just once in a while I would like not to be living in a flippin kindergarten/school/art room/science lab/sports arena/wrestling ring!! Just sometimes I would like to be able to function without ducking rubber bullets, standing on lego, little fingers eating the biscuit dough,finding my baking utensils in the bedroom and plastic animals in my kitchen drawers!

 

Breathe Sharni, just breathe.

 

Its the "I love you Mummy" moments that make it all worth while.

Like....

Snuggles in bed,

"Mummy, you are the best" declarations,

Flowers picked especially for me,

The 11 year olds random hugs,

The 7 year old saving me the 'black and red' lollies cos he knows I like them.

"I just love the dress you are wearing" comments.

and all those other special things that children do for you.

 

No mountain of washing or un-vacuumed floors should deter us from basking in these small delights!

 

 

In school......

The Ragcoat by Lauren Mills

and

Sweet Clara and the Freedom Quilt by Deborah Hopkinson

 

One raining Monday morning, 'school' was replaced by making 'quilt pictures'!

We had a lot of fun, especially if you don't count the fights over the two pairs of sharp scissors. (I should of expected it really, 5 kids and 2 pairs of decent scissors)

 

 

Sophie looking decidingly cute as she takes it upon herself to check up the days schoolwork! 

 

"Don't sweat the small stuff"

"Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest"

Proverbs 14:4

 

 

 

 

 

Delighting....

Winter for me is my least favourite season.  Everything is asleep, dormant, and lying low.  I like to  lie low too.

Home is where I like to be, hibernating.  Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) one has to venture out at some stage even if its to the grocery store.

Winter is all about...

Mud....this is in the paddock next door to us.  Three boys + mud + oodles of energy = mountains of washing!!!  Need I say anymore!  (You can feel sorry for me if you like)

 

 

Cows, cows and more cows... its calving season round these parts....

 

  

 

Gumboots...winters uniform!

Essential for winter sport watching!

 

 

Gods abundant supply of a winter remedy!

 

I just love how God has everything all worked out, right down to the abundant supply of fruit that has all the essential goodness that we need during the winter months!

 

But to see me through these winter months I love to find things that I can delight in, small things that provide me with a smiling ray of sun (even when its crappy weather outside)

 

Delightful things like...

 

Small people and playdoh...

 

 

 

 

my three pet puddle ducks, Jasper, Jemimah and Jillian...

 

Jasper, Jemimah and Jillian

 

 

the first of springs gifts, flowers from a friend...

 

Springs first flowers for me is like a sign of hope, that winter that WILL come to an end.

 

The rare day when washing can be dried on the line in th elate winters sun.  You can almost smell summer on the clothes if you burying your nose deep into the washing and sniff....ooo this ones a goodie!

 

 

 

This one warms my heart.  Big brother Casey (11) made his wee sisters a 'Tinkerbell' house!

 

 

 But the thing that is delighting my soul the most at the moment is....

 

a good old pot of tea!

 

 

Tea ALWAYS tastes better out of a teapot and even better if its in a cup with a saucer!

This is relaxing and peaceful no matter when or where you drink it.

 Conversations with a friend, the early morning wake-up cuppa, the post lunch cuppa or the 4pm cuppa when you are trying to ward off the urge to raid the marshmallow or chocolate chip container!  Yes I do do that! 

 Desperate times makes for desperate measures I tell you!!

 

I have noticed that the things that warm my heart the most are the little things, each days little touches.  Moments, that if you let them, go un-noticed.

But I encourage you....NOTICE!!

 

 

 

 

Its been awhile...hasn't it.

Well hello there.

Its been awhile.  I haven't visited for a long long while. Things have been very quiet. I have to say that I haven't felt like I had anything to say.  One could say I lost my writing 'mojo'!  To be honest I felt hammered by negative words and opinions expressed.  I clearly need to toughen up.  But in order to do that I needed this time to heal and to rise above it.  

But now I feel like visiting again.

Its been three months since I last was here and I have grown (in more ways than one) and I still am.  I am 26 weeks pregnant and I am most definitely not one of those who have gorgeous pregnancy photos taken. (very jealous of those who do) But after five children and expecting another one, I feel my poor body has got its fair share of war wounds.

Its been eight months now that Jamie has been at home and without paid employment.  Who would of thought that we would still be where we are, not any worse for wear and on the journey that we are currently on. And I am praising God all the way!!  I am exciting to see where God is taking us. Don't know where that is but I am EXCITED!!!

I love having my husband around.  Someone said to me right at the beginning "How I thought I was going to stand it?"  To be honest I was quite shocked to hear someone ask that.  Don't they love their husbands???   I know the kids have also enjoyed this time with their Dad, getting to do all the 'Dad' kind of stuff that one can really only do with Dad. Like tackling on the bed!!

SO lets take a look at what we have been doing for the past three months!

We have had birthdays!

 

Chased rogue bulls from the front yard...

found extra large worms in the garden.....

I have recently learnt that holding worms in your hands is not very good for them!

hunted and captured skinks in the wood pile....

They are in there!!

constructed homemade soccer goals....

 made out of warratahs and stretchy trailer tie-downs and a couple of pegs!

The kids really embraced the Olympics....even as far as invented their own hurdles down the hallway!

Thanking God for extra big hallways!

and even inventing their own 'events'...rolling each other down the hill in a pipe!

If you look hard enough their is someone in that pipe!

 So while its been quiet around these parts, its actually been quite eventful in our house.  And of course  for 'school' there is always something happening. 

At the moment we are studying

'The Ragcoat' by Lauren Mills

Its amazing where one can go...just by reading a children's 'classic'!

From this we are looking at Coal and Coal Mining,  Quilting as art and its history,  the concept of Communities,  and the traditions behind Funerals.  All that from one book!!!

We have started off with a 'patchwork picture'

I hope to post some more doings of our 'school' as we progress through the book.

But for now as I slowly get back into writing I am using my children as a source of inspiration as they embrace the day, the moment!  I am delighting in them, delighting at the feeling of this little one growing inside of me, delighting in seeing God at work and delighting in moments.

What are you delighting in?

See you soon :)

God Filtered Times

I don't know how many times I have waken in the middle of the night just itching to write about something that seems to be composing itself in my head.  I can't stop it, I can't go back to sleep and I can't think of anything else while this is happening.  Does that sound strange?  Perhaps if the whole entire family wasn't sleeping in the lounge last night (where the computer is) I might of got up and turned on the computer and let my fingers say what my mind was talking about. 

This is not a normal blog for me but at this moment it needs to be written. There are no pictures of memories and activity, no smiling eyes and cherubic faces of my wonderful children. No this blog comes from way down deep where pain, confusion and hurt have lived and remnants still linger.  Its grown out of times of  many tears and fears.

But.....out of all this something beautiful is growing, something wonderful is being created and we can look back, even now, still in the midst of it and see how much we are blessed, how much we have grown, how much we are grateful for and most importantly see how much GOD himself has his hand in our lives.

Not many of you know and some of you do, that Jamie lost his job very suddenly just before Christmas. It came as a huge shock, so much so that the pain inside felt like a tearing of the insides.  Many a sickening thoughts of "What are we going to do?  How will we survive? etc"  Being a single income, homeschooling family its a VERY scary place to be.  We felt very broken indeed.  Telling the kids that things were going to get tough (no pocket money, no summer holiday and no treats was really hard).

Someone asked me just after in happen, how long do you think you can survive?  I remember telling them, thinking about the bank balance "Um I don't know, maybe 6 weeks". Six weeks isn't long especially when Christmas is smack bang in the middle of it.  Scary thoughts of not being able to afford insurance, rent, food etc plagued my mind in never-ending waves. Sounds oh so dismal doesn't it!

But....that was nearly five months ago now.  Jamie is still looking for work and we are still here, still in our house, none of us are starving and wearing thread bare clothes.  The bills are paid.  We have come through four birthdays (with presents even) I am blown away but very grateful at Gods continual providence.

Whether or not we think what happen was unfair or not is now irrelevant, it happened. Yes it sucks!  And I have to admit I am still harbouring a little bitterness and hurt over what happened.  That dawned on me one day when I went to buy chook food from another rural supplies store and the sights, sounds, smells and conversations that the staff were having around me became very overwhelming and as the nice man loaded the chook food into the boot of my car. Tears were streaming down my face. (to the man - I am so sorry)  I sobbed all the way to my Mother-in-laws house and then continued to sob on her shoulder.  (stupid mascara wasn't waterproof either)  Bitterness creeps up on me unexpectedly too. Like the other day at soccer when we saw an ex-staff-member and she chatted to Jamie liked nothing had happened - I felt really yuck and uncomfortable and didn't really want to spend time talking to her. Not very Christian like I know.

I am generally not a bitter or unforgiving person but I have to admit this is taking some working at.
I look at our situation and where we have come from and am absolutely thankful that I have God in my life.  To go through something like this without knowing him, his word and his promises would be unfathomable!  To have no hope, nothing to put your faith in, nothing to trust in, nothing to hold on to in the middle of dark times.  To be enduring wakeful nights worrying about how you are going to pay the bills and put food on the table - with nothing to rely on.  Blaming people and being angry all the time. Some people never ever get past that.  God has so many promises in his word for me (for all of us) and they are available 24/7

"The days of the blameless are known to the LORD,

and their inheritance will endure forever.

In times of disaster they will not wither:

in days of famine they will enjoy plenty"

                                               Psalm 37:18-19

God has been our provider in so many different ways.  And its not all about getting lump sums of money either although in a few cases it has been.  Its the food vouchers, gifts of food, the deer that Jamie and his brother shot. The invites for dinner, the abundance of veges out of our garden, honey out of the hives and even down to the bottles of milk we have been given.  The free firewood.  But its more than that too!  Its the support, the prayers, the encouragement from family, friends and our church!  If we didn't have that all those things, times would be so much tougher.  It says in his word that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1 and its true.  You can not have it sweet and safe your whole life, trouble does come.  Its in those time that you see who you really are and what you are made of, its in those time that you see who is really on your side, supporting you and cheering you on.  I actually find it strange that some friends have not showed any support to us at all and some have not even mentioned it, not even to ask how we are doing or to say "look I am really sorry to hear what you are going through".  I am not expecting anyone to fix this for us and provide a job out of thin air but at least some acknowledgement would of been nice.  I am picking that its like that for people who have had someone close to them die.  Some people don't know what to say so they don't say anything and even go to lengths to avoid them.

I know that God is doing something amazing in our lives.  I am often reminded of Job in the bible who lost everything and was covered in boils from head to toe.  His friends sat around and said he was to blame in some way.  But God allowed this disaster to happen to Job so that it could be  seen what Job was made of - character building you could say!    I don't believe that any ones character is bettered by having everything rosie all the time.  At the end of chapter of Job, God restores everything and then some back to Job, and even though he was essentially rewarded for his trouble he wouldn't of got it all at once.  It says that Job was blessed with five more children, we all know that doesn't happen over night!

I know that some people say that God could of prevented this from happening.  Yes I suppose he could if it was the best thing for us.  God loves us so much that he just wants us to have the best life possible and to be the best people we can be.  Who would want second best?   We don't.

I have learnt that its not wise to be looking to far into the future, that leads to worry and worrying is a fruitless time waster!  It will not fix anything.  It easy said than done of course.   But we constantly remind ourselves that our trust and hope is in God and God only.  We are fully confident that God will provide our needs and even some of our wants and desires.

"My heart is confident in you, O God,

my heart is confident.

No wonder I can sing your praises" Psalm 57:7

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you" 1 Peter 5:7

We know that in times to come there will be hurdles and things that could potentially be worrying will turn up, bills that will come, things that will need to be replaced.  But for now I will just focus on today and maybe even tomorrow.  Each meal, each bill and each moment.  I have a choice to make whether or not this will beat me or I will beat it!   Right at the beginning of this trying time Jamie and I declared that we were going to learn everything we could out of this, we were going to grow as people, as a couple and as a family. We are determined not to have to repeat something like this, that this would also make us stronger as a couple and a family unit.  Our faith has certainly grown.

Things I have learnt during this time....would be...

• That ones identity and security is not (or should not be) tied up in the position one holds or in the income bracket they might be in.
• That we could have done so much more and given so much more with the income we did have. So many people have needs that far out weigh the needs we have.
• That there are many people that are far worse off than us (cliche I know but its true). We have each other, we have all our children and everyone is healthy and we are safe!
• That belonging to a church, to something that is bigger than yourself is so important. Its somewhere that supports you and loves you and that you can support and serve in too.  The saying "its more blessing to give than to receive" rings true here.

I love God, my husband, my family, my friends and my church family.  During this time I have felt like these people have carried me during the tough times, that warms my heart and I am ever so thankful.

 

We are still on this journey and I don't know when there will be a let up...but I know that every time I need God he will be there!  Every single time.  Yes there will be times and things that I won't like and I will want to throw a tantrum and cry and stomp and that's ok. As long as I don't stay in that state.  I hope I don't sound as though I am never scared or have an attack of the worries, I do and often. I stumble.  But its a purposeful choice to believe in his words and his promises.  That's when I pray and pray hard.

I will leave you with these to verses that God gave me soon after Jamie lost his job....I just love his promises and I will keep hanging on to these for as long as need be, although I am hoping that its not too much longer.

"Come back to the place of safety,

 all you prisoners who still have hope!

I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings

for each of your troubles"

- Zechariah 9:12

"Instead of shame and dishonor,

you will enjoy a double share of honor.

You will possess a double portion of prosperity

in your land,

and everlasting joy will be yours."

- Isaiah 61:7