Delighting....

Winter for me is my least favourite season.  Everything is asleep, dormant, and lying low.  I like to  lie low too.

Home is where I like to be, hibernating.  Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) one has to venture out at some stage even if its to the grocery store.

Winter is all about...

Mud....this is in the paddock next door to us.  Three boys + mud + oodles of energy = mountains of washing!!!  Need I say anymore!  (You can feel sorry for me if you like)

 

 

Cows, cows and more cows... its calving season round these parts....

 

  

 

Gumboots...winters uniform!

Essential for winter sport watching!

 

 

Gods abundant supply of a winter remedy!

 

I just love how God has everything all worked out, right down to the abundant supply of fruit that has all the essential goodness that we need during the winter months!

 

But to see me through these winter months I love to find things that I can delight in, small things that provide me with a smiling ray of sun (even when its crappy weather outside)

 

Delightful things like...

 

Small people and playdoh...

 

 

 

 

my three pet puddle ducks, Jasper, Jemimah and Jillian...

 

Jasper, Jemimah and Jillian

 

 

the first of springs gifts, flowers from a friend...

 

Springs first flowers for me is like a sign of hope, that winter that WILL come to an end.

 

The rare day when washing can be dried on the line in th elate winters sun.  You can almost smell summer on the clothes if you burying your nose deep into the washing and sniff....ooo this ones a goodie!

 

 

 

This one warms my heart.  Big brother Casey (11) made his wee sisters a 'Tinkerbell' house!

 

 

 But the thing that is delighting my soul the most at the moment is....

 

a good old pot of tea!

 

 

Tea ALWAYS tastes better out of a teapot and even better if its in a cup with a saucer!

This is relaxing and peaceful no matter when or where you drink it.

 Conversations with a friend, the early morning wake-up cuppa, the post lunch cuppa or the 4pm cuppa when you are trying to ward off the urge to raid the marshmallow or chocolate chip container!  Yes I do do that! 

 Desperate times makes for desperate measures I tell you!!

 

I have noticed that the things that warm my heart the most are the little things, each days little touches.  Moments, that if you let them, go un-noticed.

But I encourage you....NOTICE!!

 

 

 

 

Its been awhile...hasn't it.

Well hello there.

Its been awhile.  I haven't visited for a long long while. Things have been very quiet. I have to say that I haven't felt like I had anything to say.  One could say I lost my writing 'mojo'!  To be honest I felt hammered by negative words and opinions expressed.  I clearly need to toughen up.  But in order to do that I needed this time to heal and to rise above it.  

But now I feel like visiting again.

Its been three months since I last was here and I have grown (in more ways than one) and I still am.  I am 26 weeks pregnant and I am most definitely not one of those who have gorgeous pregnancy photos taken. (very jealous of those who do) But after five children and expecting another one, I feel my poor body has got its fair share of war wounds.

Its been eight months now that Jamie has been at home and without paid employment.  Who would of thought that we would still be where we are, not any worse for wear and on the journey that we are currently on. And I am praising God all the way!!  I am exciting to see where God is taking us. Don't know where that is but I am EXCITED!!!

I love having my husband around.  Someone said to me right at the beginning "How I thought I was going to stand it?"  To be honest I was quite shocked to hear someone ask that.  Don't they love their husbands???   I know the kids have also enjoyed this time with their Dad, getting to do all the 'Dad' kind of stuff that one can really only do with Dad. Like tackling on the bed!!

SO lets take a look at what we have been doing for the past three months!

We have had birthdays!

 

Chased rogue bulls from the front yard...

found extra large worms in the garden.....

I have recently learnt that holding worms in your hands is not very good for them!

hunted and captured skinks in the wood pile....

They are in there!!

constructed homemade soccer goals....

 made out of warratahs and stretchy trailer tie-downs and a couple of pegs!

The kids really embraced the Olympics....even as far as invented their own hurdles down the hallway!

Thanking God for extra big hallways!

and even inventing their own 'events'...rolling each other down the hill in a pipe!

If you look hard enough their is someone in that pipe!

 So while its been quiet around these parts, its actually been quite eventful in our house.  And of course  for 'school' there is always something happening. 

At the moment we are studying

'The Ragcoat' by Lauren Mills

Its amazing where one can go...just by reading a children's 'classic'!

From this we are looking at Coal and Coal Mining,  Quilting as art and its history,  the concept of Communities,  and the traditions behind Funerals.  All that from one book!!!

We have started off with a 'patchwork picture'

I hope to post some more doings of our 'school' as we progress through the book.

But for now as I slowly get back into writing I am using my children as a source of inspiration as they embrace the day, the moment!  I am delighting in them, delighting at the feeling of this little one growing inside of me, delighting in seeing God at work and delighting in moments.

What are you delighting in?

See you soon :)

God Filtered Times

I don't know how many times I have waken in the middle of the night just itching to write about something that seems to be composing itself in my head.  I can't stop it, I can't go back to sleep and I can't think of anything else while this is happening.  Does that sound strange?  Perhaps if the whole entire family wasn't sleeping in the lounge last night (where the computer is) I might of got up and turned on the computer and let my fingers say what my mind was talking about. 

This is not a normal blog for me but at this moment it needs to be written. There are no pictures of memories and activity, no smiling eyes and cherubic faces of my wonderful children. No this blog comes from way down deep where pain, confusion and hurt have lived and remnants still linger.  Its grown out of times of  many tears and fears.

But.....out of all this something beautiful is growing, something wonderful is being created and we can look back, even now, still in the midst of it and see how much we are blessed, how much we have grown, how much we are grateful for and most importantly see how much GOD himself has his hand in our lives.

Not many of you know and some of you do, that Jamie lost his job very suddenly just before Christmas. It came as a huge shock, so much so that the pain inside felt like a tearing of the insides.  Many a sickening thoughts of "What are we going to do?  How will we survive? etc"  Being a single income, homeschooling family its a VERY scary place to be.  We felt very broken indeed.  Telling the kids that things were going to get tough (no pocket money, no summer holiday and no treats was really hard).

Someone asked me just after in happen, how long do you think you can survive?  I remember telling them, thinking about the bank balance "Um I don't know, maybe 6 weeks". Six weeks isn't long especially when Christmas is smack bang in the middle of it.  Scary thoughts of not being able to afford insurance, rent, food etc plagued my mind in never-ending waves. Sounds oh so dismal doesn't it!

But....that was nearly five months ago now.  Jamie is still looking for work and we are still here, still in our house, none of us are starving and wearing thread bare clothes.  The bills are paid.  We have come through four birthdays (with presents even) I am blown away but very grateful at Gods continual providence.

Whether or not we think what happen was unfair or not is now irrelevant, it happened. Yes it sucks!  And I have to admit I am still harbouring a little bitterness and hurt over what happened.  That dawned on me one day when I went to buy chook food from another rural supplies store and the sights, sounds, smells and conversations that the staff were having around me became very overwhelming and as the nice man loaded the chook food into the boot of my car. Tears were streaming down my face. (to the man - I am so sorry)  I sobbed all the way to my Mother-in-laws house and then continued to sob on her shoulder.  (stupid mascara wasn't waterproof either)  Bitterness creeps up on me unexpectedly too. Like the other day at soccer when we saw an ex-staff-member and she chatted to Jamie liked nothing had happened - I felt really yuck and uncomfortable and didn't really want to spend time talking to her. Not very Christian like I know.

I am generally not a bitter or unforgiving person but I have to admit this is taking some working at.
I look at our situation and where we have come from and am absolutely thankful that I have God in my life.  To go through something like this without knowing him, his word and his promises would be unfathomable!  To have no hope, nothing to put your faith in, nothing to trust in, nothing to hold on to in the middle of dark times.  To be enduring wakeful nights worrying about how you are going to pay the bills and put food on the table - with nothing to rely on.  Blaming people and being angry all the time. Some people never ever get past that.  God has so many promises in his word for me (for all of us) and they are available 24/7

"The days of the blameless are known to the LORD,

and their inheritance will endure forever.

In times of disaster they will not wither:

in days of famine they will enjoy plenty"

                                               Psalm 37:18-19

God has been our provider in so many different ways.  And its not all about getting lump sums of money either although in a few cases it has been.  Its the food vouchers, gifts of food, the deer that Jamie and his brother shot. The invites for dinner, the abundance of veges out of our garden, honey out of the hives and even down to the bottles of milk we have been given.  The free firewood.  But its more than that too!  Its the support, the prayers, the encouragement from family, friends and our church!  If we didn't have that all those things, times would be so much tougher.  It says in his word that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1 and its true.  You can not have it sweet and safe your whole life, trouble does come.  Its in those time that you see who you really are and what you are made of, its in those time that you see who is really on your side, supporting you and cheering you on.  I actually find it strange that some friends have not showed any support to us at all and some have not even mentioned it, not even to ask how we are doing or to say "look I am really sorry to hear what you are going through".  I am not expecting anyone to fix this for us and provide a job out of thin air but at least some acknowledgement would of been nice.  I am picking that its like that for people who have had someone close to them die.  Some people don't know what to say so they don't say anything and even go to lengths to avoid them.

I know that God is doing something amazing in our lives.  I am often reminded of Job in the bible who lost everything and was covered in boils from head to toe.  His friends sat around and said he was to blame in some way.  But God allowed this disaster to happen to Job so that it could be  seen what Job was made of - character building you could say!    I don't believe that any ones character is bettered by having everything rosie all the time.  At the end of chapter of Job, God restores everything and then some back to Job, and even though he was essentially rewarded for his trouble he wouldn't of got it all at once.  It says that Job was blessed with five more children, we all know that doesn't happen over night!

I know that some people say that God could of prevented this from happening.  Yes I suppose he could if it was the best thing for us.  God loves us so much that he just wants us to have the best life possible and to be the best people we can be.  Who would want second best?   We don't.

I have learnt that its not wise to be looking to far into the future, that leads to worry and worrying is a fruitless time waster!  It will not fix anything.  It easy said than done of course.   But we constantly remind ourselves that our trust and hope is in God and God only.  We are fully confident that God will provide our needs and even some of our wants and desires.

"My heart is confident in you, O God,

my heart is confident.

No wonder I can sing your praises" Psalm 57:7

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you" 1 Peter 5:7

We know that in times to come there will be hurdles and things that could potentially be worrying will turn up, bills that will come, things that will need to be replaced.  But for now I will just focus on today and maybe even tomorrow.  Each meal, each bill and each moment.  I have a choice to make whether or not this will beat me or I will beat it!   Right at the beginning of this trying time Jamie and I declared that we were going to learn everything we could out of this, we were going to grow as people, as a couple and as a family. We are determined not to have to repeat something like this, that this would also make us stronger as a couple and a family unit.  Our faith has certainly grown.

Things I have learnt during this time....would be...

• That ones identity and security is not (or should not be) tied up in the position one holds or in the income bracket they might be in.
• That we could have done so much more and given so much more with the income we did have. So many people have needs that far out weigh the needs we have.
• That there are many people that are far worse off than us (cliche I know but its true). We have each other, we have all our children and everyone is healthy and we are safe!
• That belonging to a church, to something that is bigger than yourself is so important. Its somewhere that supports you and loves you and that you can support and serve in too.  The saying "its more blessing to give than to receive" rings true here.

I love God, my husband, my family, my friends and my church family.  During this time I have felt like these people have carried me during the tough times, that warms my heart and I am ever so thankful.

 

We are still on this journey and I don't know when there will be a let up...but I know that every time I need God he will be there!  Every single time.  Yes there will be times and things that I won't like and I will want to throw a tantrum and cry and stomp and that's ok. As long as I don't stay in that state.  I hope I don't sound as though I am never scared or have an attack of the worries, I do and often. I stumble.  But its a purposeful choice to believe in his words and his promises.  That's when I pray and pray hard.

I will leave you with these to verses that God gave me soon after Jamie lost his job....I just love his promises and I will keep hanging on to these for as long as need be, although I am hoping that its not too much longer.

"Come back to the place of safety,

 all you prisoners who still have hope!

I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings

for each of your troubles"

- Zechariah 9:12

"Instead of shame and dishonor,

you will enjoy a double share of honor.

You will possess a double portion of prosperity

in your land,

and everlasting joy will be yours."

- Isaiah 61:7

A Day at the Market

I have been sitting here this whole week feeling sorry for myself believing that I had nothing to blog about (and wanting to blog) because my husband took my camera away hunting with him....BUT tonight (the last night) I discovered that he had left the SD card for me with my last lot of photos!  Bless him!  I now am so excited......

So how has your week been?   I have been husband-less for the past four nights and tonight is the last night - do I need to tell you how excited I am (and tired). I really truly take my hat off to solo-parents who have to do the parent thing 24/7 with little support.  I don't think I have even been sleeping well cos I think I have been sleeping with one ear open the whole night, half listening out for a child calling out.  Of course I have been having my midnight visitor crawling into bed with me and snuggling down into my back.

Before Jamie went away I decided that it would be nice if I did something a little special with just my girls and an invitation from my sister-on-law Tash was right on the button!  So a Budd girls trip to the Tamahere Markets was planned....Yes!  My girls were so excited, especially since they had some money that Poppa Peter gave them for their birthdays to spend....Yusssss!

God blessed us with a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L autumn day for it too! Just check out those crunchy leaves underfoot, can't you just smell the autumness.

So much to look at and so many people, holding hands was oh so important.

The girls very first purchase. They pain-stakingly each chose a wee soap. Two for a dollar, can't go wrong with that.  (Thank you to the lady who patiently served them)

Second purchase... a lolly kebab!

I could smell this vendor before I could see it!  Hmmmmm lavender!

Time for a mid-morning snack....this donut lady (I am sure she would love to be called that) had nearly sold out but the time we got to her.  

They were actually the best and biggest donuts I have ever had and next time I am buying a whole one to greedily devour myself! ( I was nibbling on my girls one)

And of course you can't go past the balloon-animal-man without buying a balloon animal!

I love balloon animals and consequently so do my girls!  and did you know that if your balloon animal pops while you are at the market he will make a replacement -free!!

Now that is cool!

It was a great day out and we were there just the right amount of time.  We were just walking out when my girls started to complain of sore legs!

I thoroughly recommend that if you have a market nearby then take the time and a friend to visit and wander around taking in the smells, sights and sounds and of course indulging in a coffee or two and an Almond Croissant!

Just Being

There is one things that I love about the school holidays and that is time just to "be".  To sit and breath and r-e-l-a-x!  Well as much as you can when you have any amount of kids running around you.  I don't have 'schooling' on my to-do-list and I don't have to be taxi-ing the kids anywhere for dancing and sports etc. (although this is about to start soon)

Yes I have the luxury of time during the school term and my kids have the luxury to do almost whatever tickles their fancy at  the time.  But sometimes nice to KNOW that you don't HAVE to be doing anything.  This has been  a particular blessing at this time since I have been in the throes of morning sickness (well in my case all day sickness).  Yes you did read right, we are expecting a precious baby around the end of November!  We are all very excited but I do need reminding of that when I can't move off the bed/couch because I feel so sick!  Remind my kids too when I am a little too grumpy with them cos I feel so crappy.  BUT feeling crappy is a good thing and that is what I keep reminding myself.

So yesterday morning I spent some time just being with the girls (the boys would of been outside playing deer hunting complete with antlers and deer calls)  while they colour in....

 

such a simply thing but it keeps them entertain for a long time.  Now which colour shall I use next??

Of course little sister has to colour too!

 

I just love chubby little hands that holds the pen to draw and colour!

What a good use for giant piles of washing waiting to be folded.  A warm snuggly place to sit in the sun!

The holiday break has been a quiet one this time, we haven't done anything or been anywhere but I don't think the kids have suffered.  They have used what they have round here to entertain themselves, including the wind and plastic bags. (simple, free and quick to tidy up Yeah!)

and carpet, blankets and cushions for a game of um.... "don't touch the sea or the giant shark will get you!"

A not so tidy and quiet game!

and lastly "lets make a hut with the couches and blankets and eat hot chips in it"

Mostly I love what my kids come up with for entertainment, I say mostly because some are just too messy and too noisy and sometime I just can't be bothered with it.  BUT for the most part I think they have amazing imaginations and I just love that.  Its all about letting them try stuff and providing with help and ideas only if they ask!  I wasn't so good at this to begin with but I am getting better! 

Anyway the holiday time is coming to the end and it will be back to our routine.

But you know what...it will be good!

All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.
 - Orison Swett Marden

Easter Fun

So I am really digging deep to get this written today - so hopefully it turns out alright! 

Easter is a time for celebration, tradition and family. Maybe separately or together.  Its always been a pretty big deal but over the past few years its got even bigger.    In order to turn the focus away from Easter Bunny and chocolate eggs which has played a major part in the past we have really made a big focus on the most important event of all time. 

The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! Whether you believe it or you don't, if you celebrate Easter in one form or another you are celebrating this momentous occasion.

So kick off this Easter season as part of  'school' we (our family) reenacted Palm Sunday. If you don't know the story its found in Matthew 21. Take a look!

Since we didn't have a donkey handy or palm leaves or robes for that matter we really had to improvise. But the whole point was to bring the passage to life for the kids sake.  Everyone had a turn at being Jesus riding on the donkey (bike) and everyone had a turn at lying robes (towels) on the ground for the donkey to walk over and waving palm (tree branches).  Twas quite fun! Even if our Palm Sunday was on the Monday!

This Jesus fell off his donkey!

After six people having turns at playing Jesus I think they all know the story pretty well.

  

On Good Friday we went to Jamie's brothers house to have a Passover celebrate. The kids (on their own accord) made a video of the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus.  I just love what these kids came up with when they are together.

Jesus and Simon carrying the cross.

Our passover meal was amazing. It was the second year that we have done it and this year my 14 year old niece put it together and ran the evening. She did an amazing job and every one in the family had a part to play. 

 

 Here are some pics.

Communion by candlelight

Dinner on the floor!

As part on the ceremony we watch the passover scene from the Prince of Egypt movie by candlelight. I have to say that the atmosphere felt very sacred, holy and even a little emotional.

Afterwards we 'painted' our own front door (with crepe paper)

 

The hand-washing part of the ceremony.
Casey & Uncle Mike

The dinner was lovely and definitely the reflected the real meaning of Easter. Thank you to Kaysha for putting it together.

On Easter Sunday after an awesome church service we celebrated by our annual Easter Egg hunt!  Its a mission to hide all those eggs, enough for five children!

 

 

 

The thing with Easter Egg hunts is that you need to count how many eggs you are hiding and also vaguely remember where you have hidden them!  Last year Sophie found one or two a couple of weeks later while she was playing outside.

And lastly to top off the Easter celebrations,

Uncle Eon's Double Chocolate Muffins

 (Easter Muffins)

Don't you just love hand-written recipes, they hold so much history and many memories of the people and places that you love.

Easter is up there with Christmas for us. So much emphasis is place on Christmas with all the hype and what-not but we need to celebrate more. Our society as a whole can be quite shallow and void of traditions and celebrations.  We need more!  And they don't have to be all commercialised either, its all about getting together with the ones you love and sharing moments.

I would love to squeeze in some more celebrations into our calendar year.

I hope your Easter was a good one, however you celebrated!

What are some of your traditions and celebrations?