Asking for Help

I've been wrestling with thoughts around why people (me included) don't like accepting help. Probably much like you guys I simply love to help people. This comes in the back of an awful situation that happened to one of my precious @loving_arms_nz mothers in which she clearly needed help. Help that goes waaaaay outside the normal kind of help with give. I had rallied some troops in the form of a wonderful team of ladies, but when it came to the crunch, she said no EVEN though she still desperately needed it. What's a girl to do I ask? Keep pushing until she caved at the risk of upsetting and offended her? So, I have left it for the time being but still feel so helpless and sad for her...living bound in this awful space with help just a short message away but unable to accept it.

So, it got me thinking...do we really believe that we are weak if we need help? If I'm honest.... I do. But I don't see others being weak if they need it. Do we believe that we will 'owe' them something in return for helping us? Me, I do but I would never expect someone to owe me for helping them. Do I not think I'm worthy of help or people don't really mean it? that would be me. Do we let pride get in the way of really living in community because we are so damn stubborn to ask for help or take up offers from people who genuinely want to help??? Ahhh yes that too would be me.

Clearly, I'm doing myself a disservice and self-sabotaging living authentically and fully by doing the above.

I am being way more conscious of these ridiculous patterns of thinking...never in a million years would I ever be ok with one of my friends or family thinking the same things ...EVER. I feel I still have work to be done.

We are ALL called to live in community not in unhealthy isolation. Not just some of us...ALL. Why is it so stupidly hard?

So, I ask why do YOU think people have trouble asking for or accepting help? How can we change this?

9 Months Today

Our baby girl is 9 months 9ld today!!! Can you believe it? I don't know about you, but time just goes by too fast! Every single day we see just a little bit more of her personality...like unwrapping a gift. She is certainly a sparkly one. So she's pretty much the same amount of time out as she was inside me growing, I found that thought quite remarkable really. Our baby girl...the one we didn't know we wanted and the one we most certainly needed.

My husband always says nine months to grow...nine months to get my body back. It certainly has rung true for me nearly every time. This time around I sought help in the way of Weight Watchers... (thanks for the inspiration from my Instagram friend @mrskatemccormick) In the past it was purely exercise that helped me get back on track but my mental health and other physical limitations leftover from her birth hindered that this time. I never told ANYONE what I was doing in fear of failing publicly...because who likes to do that! Three months I can proudly say nearly 8kg has gone and I am well below pre-pregnancy weight...yeah baby. Yesterday I started working out again but taking it slowly knowing I am nursing a back injury. It's all about healing well ah. Heading into this year nourishing and nurturing myself well. I have to be on point if I am going to show up for what God has for me!

Charlie Grace 9 months

Has 5 teeth, can pull herself up to stand, holds grudges and lets you know she's not impressed. Mummy's girl. Still chubby. Loves animals, baths and long drinks of water. Independent. Slowly learning to like food especially if its mums' food. Hates frights and going to bed at night. Still bites and now pinches. Will hand you things if you say 'thank you' first. Has optimal eyesight...finding the smallest thing to put in her mouth. Charlie Grace...a wee joy germ.

Goals

One of my personal goals for 2019 was better organizational skills and to be much more intentional with making time and space to connect with and invest into people but also those people that are dear to me... making sure those times happen regularly and on purpose. It means that sometimes I am booking in dates four or five weeks in advance so we can be certain that it happens. Our calendars fill up fast and if left to me seeing what happens catch ups with certain people would get pushed back all the time. Along with me booking in intentional coffee dates...I have started to put some boundaries in around how many dates I have a week...I think the maximum I can do is 2...maaaybe 3. And I have also been intentional at booking out blocks of time in my week to do Loving Arms work. In the past I was working it around the rest of my life, and I was selling myself and the work short...I could never get really stuck into anything before I had to hang out the washing or I'd stop to bake biscuits. Clearly, I'm not the greatest at multitasking as I once thought. I am really excited about how much I can accomplish in this time.

You know this really is the first year I made a conscious effort to take the time to think about and sit down and write out goals.... I only wish I had done it earlier. I love I have something tangible, something visible to keep me going and on task. It can only be good. Watch out world...I'm coming for you!!! I'll share more on my goals in posts to come.

It's So Hot

It hot....like really hot and really humid. And I like the heat but the feeling of stickiness...not so much. These two were grumpy, teary and quite possibly tired...especially the littlest one who hasn't slept this afternoon

I'm hoping that will mean we can have date night without a third wheel for most of it. Seeing it's so hot and everyone is grumpy I thought I'd run an early bath with cool water. It's a hit even if it does mean I can't really get anything done cos I need to sit and play baby lifeguard. The water at 4cm deep is the least of her worries ...it's what her big sister will do if I'm not watching. Presently she's giving her a mohawk....

How's everyone else surviving the humidity?

Off He Goes

This is as much as Tom would let me post of him on any social media...he tells me I'm 'cringe'. Bless me.

Today is another momentous milestone in our house.... the next to go off to school albeit college for the first time since he was 5 and a half. I shouldn't have to tell you that I was more than nervous and cried after he left this morning. I mean I wouldn't be me if I didn't. Tom looked happy enough, a little nervous but happy enough as he left with a couple of mates on their first day too. He doesn't have to walk far just across the road which I'm sure will play to his advantage when he sleeps in!

We are blessed really...to have faith in an amazing God. To have the power, strength and protection of the God Almighty. I prayed this morning for him and all the other kids nervously but excitedly starting school...any school. This is the generation that will be mighty in strength and passion to change the world. I firmly believe that. And we us parents get to guide them, love them, encourage them and equip them to do so. I also believe that it's no accident that God has moved us here across the road from the college.... it's a mission field all on its own! God is good.

"Make your tents larger!

Spread out the tent pegs;

fasten them firmly.

You and your descendants

will take over the land of other nations.

You will settle in towns that are now in ruins." - Is 54: 2-3

Just some questions

After a precious encounter with a beautiful mama yesterday these questions have been playing on my mind. What or who do others think Christians are? What does it mean when someone says they follow Jesus?

Firstly, a Christian is someone who fully believes that Jesus Christ is the son of God, born as a man, was crucified on a cross for ALL our sins, (past, present and future) and was resurrected into eternal life. That the bible/the Word of God is true and inspired by God Himself. Now that my statement of faith is out of the way.... what does all that mean? What does that life actually look like?

One of my favorite authors @bobgoff shared this this morning and it hit the nail on the head.

"When people ask me what it looks like to follow Jesus, I usually say....dealing with all the disappointments, tremendous joy, uncertainty, everything and having your mind change all the time as you learn how Jesus would of dealt with all those big emotions" Living life as a Christian does not vaccinate you from real life and all that it throws at you. You do not get to live in a bubble. It does not make you perfect, and you still stuff up multiple times... every single day.

Yes, we are called to live a higher life but not as we are better than those who don't follow Jesus but simply put, we are to strive to reflect the love of Christ to the world around us. We are never perfect nor are we going to be this side of heaven. Our kids will never be either...EVER. We still lose the plot, get tired of life's dramas, get sad, angry, stressed, depressed...sometimes we have trouble coping. But still, we rise...rise of the hope and strength that is Christ. We have reassurance, promises, wisdom, discipline and encouragement that is His Word, all wrapped up in His love, mercy and grace.

A word here about being in ministry albeit a pastor and pastors' wife with pastors' kids.... we are facing trials and the ways of the world just like you. The only difference is more people are watching and judging.

Let's pray for each other ah?? Lord knows we all need it!

Nurture & Nourish

Nurture & Nourish

Remember my post about my 'WORD' for this year.... well it turned out to be these two.

Today as I finalized my reflections and wrote out my goals for this year for all things.... personal, family, ministry (@loving_arms_nz), house and relationships. I can see the definite theme of these two words running through them all.

How do feel? I am excited. Such warm, cozy and intimate feelings rise up inside when I read these. Feelings of holding close those things that matter the most....my God, my people, my home, my ministry.... myself. I expect the last might be a wee bit of a challenge. Focusing on myself isn't something I'm crash hot about. Is anyone though?

I took the entire day today to get some work done including setting goals and completing some admin work. Not going to lie it's been tough.... even though I have told everyone to pretend I'm not here.... short story...they can't. I did sit for an hour or so and ate a massive almond croissant and enjoyed a coffee on my own at a local cafe where I ploughed through some it. Perhaps I should have stayed there all day .... I thought I'd share one goal from each category.... Personal - Seek 'Word before World"...always

Family - To be intentional about creating "Family Time" and scheduling it into the calendar.

Ministry - To finish role descriptions for key areas and to release those people to work their magic.

House - To create and maintain clean and organized living spaces.

Relationships - To make the connection with the people in my circle a priority and love on them.

There you have it, just a few. I tell you there is nothing like seeing what you want written down on paper to get and keep you motivated. I'm excited.

Do you take time to set yourself up for the year? If so, how?