We Are All The Same

Today was shopping day and as I stood at the check-out waiting as the operator scanned through my trolley full of groceries and began watch a young heavily pregnant mum and her son approach the self-serve. She looked as though she had a tough journey with some stories to tell, unkempt hair and clothes that needed a good wash

I thought to myself I would love to be in the position to pay for her groceries and thought maybe I should.... that was until I saw what she was buying. cigarettes, a can of 'V' and a large bottle of cheap cola. Hmmm maybe not. I try not to judge telling myself maybe she was buying cigarettes for someone else. (one thing I have learnt it's easy for us to make judgements and generalizations about someone and not know their back story). I then watched as her card declined twice...and I felt sorry for her and was highly embarrassed on her behalf.... perhaps if she put those smokes back.... I saw her scurry around on her phone obviously switching money around into her account. Accepted and she went on her way.

Can you guess what happened... next my card declined!!!! WHAT!!!! Talk about embarrassing! Now I was the one scurrying around on my phone ringing my husband to transfer funds into my account. My next thought was of her and how we weren't that much different really. We just looked different on the outside. "There but by the grace of God go I" comes to mind.

I tell you this not for you to feel sorry for me.... we all have adulting bills like insurance come out at inopportune times.... but maybe that is what happened to her too. I have been thinking all day how we are all the same, all in need of the saving grace of God. We all need His love, His mercy, His peace...no matter who we are and what we look like. God loves us all.... uniquely and fiercely. So perhaps the next time you see someone in your travels that appears so different...stop and think how much the same you might be. I guarantee you'll think differently. You might see them as God does.

Quiet Time

There is loads that I am wrestling with at the moment and it's in this place...this purposeful quiet time...that I can put it all to the One that sustains me and ultimately will guide my steps. This is the time where I purposefully seek His face and sit in His presence, for comfort and strength.

I'm not going to pretend that this time just happens for me...because it doesn't. It's something I have to fight for every single day. Come on I have 8 kids...it was never going to be easy! More often than not I have at least one visitor that will climb in my lap or I need to stop and change a nappy, make someone a snack or find a plaster. But my time is ALWAYS with coffee...it's like my thing. Some have smoothies, some light candles, some have music...mine is coffee.

For years I use to try and emulate other people's ways of doing quiet time...it never worked. My latest attempt was creative journaling...FAIL. I'm not in the least bit creative and my attempts looked the Frankie had done it. BUT I have found what works for me...coffee, bible, devotional, journal and pen. First, I read my bible working my way through a book (its proverbs at the moment) and will write out in my journal one or two verses that jump out at me.... then I write out my thoughts and prayers using the scripture that I received in my reading.

I think the thing to realize is that everyone is in different seasons of their life...you might be an empty- nester or a new mama with a newborn...so the amount of time you can spend will vary...but I think it's safe to say everyone has five mins. For me personally the most I can manage is 20mins and that's on a good day. I need to say there are just some days I just don't get to the place where I can sit quietly so a podcast might have to do or even meditating on just one verse throughout the day...just one thing to feed my spirit!

Whether you are a follower of Christ or not I believe that all can benefit from a small space in our day to quiet, reflect and journal your thoughts.

Do you agree? Do you do quiet time? What does it look like for you?

Why Do I Do This!

Red face, mascara running down my face and sweat dripping off my nose....they say they are signs of a good workout...it must be because I feel like I may throw up. Why do I do this to myself?? I ask this every single time about a third of the way through.

Our bodies are designed to move and move often; they are designed for hard work and purposeful living. But in saying all that you need your head in the game if you are going to stick with it and push through the pain, the uncomfortable, the "I can't be bothered", the "I have too much to do" and the "I'll get it done later"...cos chances are you won't. Something will always come up.

For me now that my head is in the game and I have caught up with myself I find I just need to get it done...I don't think about it and how much it hurts or how much I'll sweat...I just do it...because if I think about it I'll start to make excuses and talk my way out of it. I'm good like that. Traditionally exercise and I don't go hand in hand. Just ask my mother...I'm the one that got a sore stomach three weeks out from the school cross country. Every single year!

In order for me to be the best version of myself, for me to be able to do what is put before me, to mother well, to be the best wife I can be and to live fully I need to do three things....one on one time with God, exercise and invest in myself in positive ways. If just one is missing, then I'll start to topple over and then everyone will miss out on the best of me. For too long I lived in a fog of chaos and unhealthy thinking, I wasn't really any good to anybody most of all to God. He has work for me to do and I need to be striving for the best version of myself.... with His help of course and all the grace.

Asking for Help

I've been wrestling with thoughts around why people (me included) don't like accepting help. Probably much like you guys I simply love to help people. This comes in the back of an awful situation that happened to one of my precious @loving_arms_nz mothers in which she clearly needed help. Help that goes waaaaay outside the normal kind of help with give. I had rallied some troops in the form of a wonderful team of ladies, but when it came to the crunch, she said no EVEN though she still desperately needed it. What's a girl to do I ask? Keep pushing until she caved at the risk of upsetting and offended her? So, I have left it for the time being but still feel so helpless and sad for her...living bound in this awful space with help just a short message away but unable to accept it.

So, it got me thinking...do we really believe that we are weak if we need help? If I'm honest.... I do. But I don't see others being weak if they need it. Do we believe that we will 'owe' them something in return for helping us? Me, I do but I would never expect someone to owe me for helping them. Do I not think I'm worthy of help or people don't really mean it? that would be me. Do we let pride get in the way of really living in community because we are so damn stubborn to ask for help or take up offers from people who genuinely want to help??? Ahhh yes that too would be me.

Clearly, I'm doing myself a disservice and self-sabotaging living authentically and fully by doing the above.

I am being way more conscious of these ridiculous patterns of thinking...never in a million years would I ever be ok with one of my friends or family thinking the same things ...EVER. I feel I still have work to be done.

We are ALL called to live in community not in unhealthy isolation. Not just some of us...ALL. Why is it so stupidly hard?

So, I ask why do YOU think people have trouble asking for or accepting help? How can we change this?

9 Months Today

Our baby girl is 9 months 9ld today!!! Can you believe it? I don't know about you, but time just goes by too fast! Every single day we see just a little bit more of her personality...like unwrapping a gift. She is certainly a sparkly one. So she's pretty much the same amount of time out as she was inside me growing, I found that thought quite remarkable really. Our baby girl...the one we didn't know we wanted and the one we most certainly needed.

My husband always says nine months to grow...nine months to get my body back. It certainly has rung true for me nearly every time. This time around I sought help in the way of Weight Watchers... (thanks for the inspiration from my Instagram friend @mrskatemccormick) In the past it was purely exercise that helped me get back on track but my mental health and other physical limitations leftover from her birth hindered that this time. I never told ANYONE what I was doing in fear of failing publicly...because who likes to do that! Three months I can proudly say nearly 8kg has gone and I am well below pre-pregnancy weight...yeah baby. Yesterday I started working out again but taking it slowly knowing I am nursing a back injury. It's all about healing well ah. Heading into this year nourishing and nurturing myself well. I have to be on point if I am going to show up for what God has for me!

Charlie Grace 9 months

Has 5 teeth, can pull herself up to stand, holds grudges and lets you know she's not impressed. Mummy's girl. Still chubby. Loves animals, baths and long drinks of water. Independent. Slowly learning to like food especially if its mums' food. Hates frights and going to bed at night. Still bites and now pinches. Will hand you things if you say 'thank you' first. Has optimal eyesight...finding the smallest thing to put in her mouth. Charlie Grace...a wee joy germ.

Goals

One of my personal goals for 2019 was better organizational skills and to be much more intentional with making time and space to connect with and invest into people but also those people that are dear to me... making sure those times happen regularly and on purpose. It means that sometimes I am booking in dates four or five weeks in advance so we can be certain that it happens. Our calendars fill up fast and if left to me seeing what happens catch ups with certain people would get pushed back all the time. Along with me booking in intentional coffee dates...I have started to put some boundaries in around how many dates I have a week...I think the maximum I can do is 2...maaaybe 3. And I have also been intentional at booking out blocks of time in my week to do Loving Arms work. In the past I was working it around the rest of my life, and I was selling myself and the work short...I could never get really stuck into anything before I had to hang out the washing or I'd stop to bake biscuits. Clearly, I'm not the greatest at multitasking as I once thought. I am really excited about how much I can accomplish in this time.

You know this really is the first year I made a conscious effort to take the time to think about and sit down and write out goals.... I only wish I had done it earlier. I love I have something tangible, something visible to keep me going and on task. It can only be good. Watch out world...I'm coming for you!!! I'll share more on my goals in posts to come.

It's So Hot

It hot....like really hot and really humid. And I like the heat but the feeling of stickiness...not so much. These two were grumpy, teary and quite possibly tired...especially the littlest one who hasn't slept this afternoon

I'm hoping that will mean we can have date night without a third wheel for most of it. Seeing it's so hot and everyone is grumpy I thought I'd run an early bath with cool water. It's a hit even if it does mean I can't really get anything done cos I need to sit and play baby lifeguard. The water at 4cm deep is the least of her worries ...it's what her big sister will do if I'm not watching. Presently she's giving her a mohawk....

How's everyone else surviving the humidity?